As mentioned in the summary, this is a sequel to a one-shot I posted a couple of months ago called "Break Out, Break Down". Although it is not essential to understand what's going on in here, I advice you to read it first, especially if you want to see more focus on Lance's claustrophobia (and if you're a Langst fan because I really gave him a rough time in this fic :P), or simply understand the events which led to the current fic.
"Um, where are the electrodes?" Hunk wondered out loud as the paladins settled in a circle on the floor of the training deck. "I thought we were going to have a mind-melding exercise."
"We won't be using the electrodes today," Shiro said. "The purpose of today's exercise is definitely team bonding, but it won't be in a mind-melding way. We're going to try something a bit different."
"What, playing Stella Ella Ola?" Lance joked. "Because I own this game, so if we're doing that, get ready to have all of your asses kicked all the way to another galaxy. Especially you, Keith."
"I don't even know what you're talking about," Keith grumbled.
"Guys, focus," Shiro said just when Lance opened his mouth to provide yet another speech about Keith's disgraceful knowledge of human culture. "Actually, today I thought it would be good for us to just talk."
"Talk? You brought us all the way here to just talk?" Pidge raised an eyebrow. "We could have done it in the lounge or something, you know. And in our regular clothes."
"Well, that is true..." Shiro tucked his head down almost apologetically. "I guess I just wanted to make sure you all treat this as a real training and not try to get away with some excuse. This talk is extremely important to our team."
"We get it, captain, just tell us what you wanted to talk about," Lance said lightly, stretching his arms ad folding them behind his head.
Shiro closed his eyes for a moment, then squared his shoulders and opened them again, his expression as serious as ever. "I've been doing a lot of thinking in the past few weeks," he said. "About how we should be more honest with each other and talk about the things that bother us, no matter how small or insignificant they seem to us; because we might find out that something which seemed silly to us at the time is actually a real issue that should be dealt with - preferably sooner than later." His gaze trailed around the circle until it locked on Lance, and the rest of the paladins quickly followed suit as realization dawned upon them.
Lance, who usually enjoyed the attention, squirmed at his place in discomfort. "W-why are you all looking at me?" he stammered, although he had a sinking feeling he already knew the answer.
"Well, it's something that I started thinking about after the training we had with the escape pods," Shiro said quietly. "You ended up getting hurt because we didn't notice your distress, and kept brushing it off even after you tried to tell us about it. We can't have something like this happen again - not in training, and definitely not on the battlefield."
Everyone hummed in agreement, but Lance only shrank further into himself, staring at the floor. "I'm so-" he started, but Pidge cut him off. "We've talked about, Lance, none of what happened was your fault," she said firmly. "We were the one who treated you wrong. So you better stop apologizing or I swear to god, I'll program the showers to punch you in the face every time you turn on the water. Maybe this will finally help you take a fucking clue."
"Language," Shiro warned, although he did send Pidge a small, thankful smile. "I'm sorry I put you in the spotlight like this, Lance; I didn't mean to bring back these painful memories. But as I already said, we should all learn from cases like this, not brush them to the side and go on like nothing happened. Those experiences may be hard, but they can also make us smarter and stronger - if we take the right things from them. And that's exactly what we're going to do today. Do you understand?"
It toot Lance a few moments to raise his head and look back at Shiro, but he did eventually, his jaw clenched in determination. "Yes," he said, his voice shaking just a bit.
"Good." Shiro sent him a warm smile. "So, as some of you have probably guessed by now, we're going to talk about our fears and phobias. Everyone is afraid of something - it can be a result of some traumatic experience which triggers certain memories, or for no particular reason; the reason is not so much important as acknowledging those fears and sharing them with the people who are close to us, so they can help us deal with them when the time comes.
"Please, don't hesitate to talk about your fears. There's nothing to be ashamed of - this is a safe space. I even asked Allura and Coran not to supervise this session, so it's just the five of us, and no one here is going to judge anyone for anything. Is that clear?"
He was answered with four decisive nods.
"Excellent." Shiro nodded back. "Now, since I initiated this talk, I'll go first. The rest of you try to think of something you'd like to share with the group in the meantime."
He took a deep breath before moving on.
"As you all know, I spent one year in a Galra prison," he said. It was indeed known to the rest of the paladins, yet it didn't stop the sharp shift in the air, as if the temperature in the room suddenly dropped. Keith frowned; Hunk fiddled with his fingers nervously; and Pidge and Lance unconsciously scooted a bit closer to each other.
"I don't remember most of this year," Shiro continued. "Sometimes I get these flashes of memory... but they're all kind of blurry, and usually it's hard for me to understand what exactly is going on. But there's one location that appears quite often in those flashback, clearer than all the other things." He coughed into his palm once. "The druids' lab."
Keith's frown deepened and Hunk was unable to hold back a wince. Pidge reached out for Lance and he instantly took her palm in his, although he didn't take his eyes off Shiro.
"I... I don't know exactly what they did," Shiro said. "But it was a known fact that they liked to experiment with their prisoners. I mean, I didn't just wake up one day with this," he lifted his Galra arm. "I don't remember how they got to put it in me, but I do remember this strong metallic smell that always hung in the lab, and the glint of all the medical devices, and... and the pain." Tiny drops of sweat appeared across his forehead, and he took a shuddering breath.
"Shiro..." Keith whispered, looking devastated. He made a move towards the black paladin, but Shiro held up his hand in the air, closing his eyes. "I'm okay," he breathed. "Honestly. J-just give me a second."
Keith settled back on the floor, although one of his knees was still bent forward, ready to lunge in case Shiro collapsed. But the other man stayed upright, focusing on his breathing for a while, then opened his eyes and looked at the others reassuringly. "Sorry about that," he said, his voice mild again. "But this actually leads me to the phobia I wanted to share. I don't like these places - labs, infirmaries, places like that. Their whole setting sets me on edge, even when they're not Galra."
"What about the castle's med bay?" Pidge asked carefully.
"Well, it uses cryopods to handle most injuries and you're fully unconscious in the process, so that makes things a lot easier for me," Shiro admitted. "But I still prefer not to spend them too much time in there if I don't have to. Also, everything that involves medical procedures other than cryo is... not pleasant. Coran once had to inject me an antidote after I got hit with a poisonous arrow, and although I knew he wasn't going to hurt me, it was still pretty hard for me to keep it together at the sight of this huge syringe." A shiver ran up his spine.
"Man, this sucks so much," Lance murmured. "I'd totally sit with you through it if I had known. My little sister was really scared of needles, so I always came to distract her whenever she needed a vaccine. I'm pretty good at it."
"That's because you never shut up," Keith said, but his tone was playful, not insulting.
Shiro sighed. "Yeah, this probably would have been a good idea. But I was too ashamed of it at the time to ask for help, so I did my best to handle it by myself. Only now I realize how wrong I was."
"So, if we ever go on a mission where we have to infiltrate a lab or any other facility of that sort, we make sure Shiro doesn't go in there," Pidge concluded. "But if you have to, someone will go with you. You won't have to get through this alone ever again."
"Thank you, Pidge," Shiro smiled genuinely at her. "I appreciate that."
"Can I give you a hug?" Hunk blurted out before he could stop himself. Shiro quirked an eyebrow and Hunk blushed, but continued, "I mean, I just really want to hug you right now. If that's okay. You don't have to."
Shiro laughed lightly. "It's fine, I don't mind. Come here." He barely managed to finish his sentence before Hunk lunged at him and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face in his shoulder. Shiro let out a short yelp before melting into the hug, patting Hunk's back awkwardly. "There, there. It's okay."
Hunk gave Shiro's waist one firm squeeze before releasing him. He wiped his eyes while getting back to his place. "Sorry," he murmured. "I'm afraid that's going to happen a couple more times during this conversation."
"Sign me in, dude, you know I can never resist a good Hunky hug," Lance chanted, fluttering his eyelashes at the yellow paladin.
"Or we can settle on one group hug after everybody finishes talking," Pidge said, not bothering to hide her disgust by how Hunk beamed at Lance. Keith, never a fan of physical displays of affection, hummed in agreement.
Lance grunted and crossed his arms. "Party pooper."
"Okay, moving on," Shiro interfered just as Pidge stuck out her tongue at Lance. "Pidge, perhaps you would like to go next?"
Pidge sucked her tongue back sharply, blushing slightly. "Ah, sure," she said, tucking her hands between her crossed legs. "Um..." she stared at an unknown spot ahead of her for a while, then shook her head and looked down at her knees. "Okay. I'm scared of thunders. Ever since I was a kid. I don't even know why. I just don't like the sounds they make. They- they freak me out." She pursed her lips in a thin line and said no more.
The others exchanged surprised looks. Pidge has always been the one who insisted they watch something scary during their movie nights, and never missed a chance to tease Hunk whenever he let out a shriek and hid his face behind Lance's shoulder, his stomach not strong enough to handle all the horrors on the screen. They would have never guessed she was afraid of thunders, of all things.
They didn't want to push her further, but the silence was quite uncomfortable, so eventually Hunk asked, "So... what do you do when there's a thunderstorm?"
Pidge laughed bitterly. "Honestly? I just hide under my desk and wait for it to pass. Pretty lame, I know."
"Pidge, remember what we said," Shiro scolded her gently. "This is a safe space. There's no need for you to call yourself lame."
Pidge flinched. "Sorry," she murmured. "It's just... well, I don't really know what else you want me to say. There isn't really a story behind this phobia. I just don't like thunders."
"That's okay," Hunk said. "Not everything has a reason. It's good that we know about it though. I mean, I don't know if we ever encounter thunderstorms here in space, but if we do... well, you can come hide in my room if you want to. We'll make a blanket fort and snuggle until it ends."
"You can wear my headphones during that time," Lance suggested. "I'll put up a playlist you can listen to, so you won't hear anything from outside."
"Actually, those are my headphones," Pidge muttered, but her lips curled up with a hint of a smile. "But thanks. That's... that's a pretty great idea."
"I'm full of great ideas," Lance leaned back with a satisfied grin.
"Thank you for telling us, Pidge," Shiro said and smiled again at Pidge, who returned the gesture, her relief visible. "Hunk? Keith? Does any of you has something he'd like to share?"
"I do," Keith blurted out and promptly shut his mouth, looking shocked at himself no less than the others. "Um... if that's okay, I mean," he mumbled, his ears turning pink.
"Of course, go on," Shiro encouraged.
Keith swallowed thickly and glanced sideways. "So, the thing is, I'm scared of snakes."
Now that was a surprise. Hunk made a noise at the back of his throat like he was going to say something, but regretted it midway and tried to disguise it with a loud cough. Even Shiro seemed taken aback.
"You lived in a desert," Lance said, wrinkling his forehead.
"So?" Keith asked sharply.
"Well, I just thought you'd be used to snakes by now," Lance said. Pidge gave him a look and he raised his palms in defense and called, "Hey, I'm not judging or anything! I'm just trying to understand. Isn't this the whole point of this conversation?"
"You have a point," Hunk said weakly.
Keith sighed impatiently. "It's not that I wasn't used to them," he said. "I had to deal with snakes all the time; I even killed one with my knife when I had no other choice." Hunk winced as he pictured it, rubbing his stomach instinctively.
"But... one time, a snake bit me," Keith continued. "I didn't even see it coming. One moment I was sitting behind a rock trying to hunt some bird, and then I felt a sharp pain in my ankle, and turned around just in time to see a snake disappearing in the sand. I didn't even had the chance to check if it was venomous or not."
"So what did you do?" Pidge asked shakily.
Keith shrugged. "There wasn't much I could do other than clean the wound and wait," he said. "I mean, I was all alone, and it wasn't like there was a hospital nearby."
"The Garrison wasn't too far from your shack," Hunk pointed out. "You could have sent a distress signal or something. I know they kicked you out, but come on, that was an emergency."
"I'd rather die than ask them for anything," Keith spat, but then he caught the looks on everyone's faces and his eyes widened. "Ah. Sorry." His ears were deep red now.
"It's alright," Shiro said softly.
Lance leaned forward and rested his chin on his fist. "Well, obviously that snake wasn't venomous, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now. So... that's good, I suppose."
"Yeah," Keith muttered. "But I had to go through a couple of hours of not knowing whether my life was in danger or not, and that was... not fun." He pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly. "The wound was red and swollen and hurt like hell, but I didn't have trouble breathing, or a fever, or- or anything like that. But it was still really scary, knowing that these symptoms could happen any moment and that there was nothing I could do about it, and that if I ended up dying no one would even care and - " his voice cracked and he hugged his knees even tighter, to the point where his knuckles turned white.
Hunk didn't say anything as he got up from his place and walked straight to Keith, then knelt beside him and pulled him into his arms. Keith stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed and leaned into Hunk's chest, although his own arms stayed wrapped around his knees.
"Can I join in the hug?" Pidge asked, looking almost as eager as Lance, who was already half-standing. But Keith shook his head and pulled away from Hunk, staring at his knees intently. "I'm fine," he said in a thick voice. "I am. I just really hate snakes ever since that day."
"Well, if we ever meet a space snake, I'll blast its head off before it even gets the chance to get close," Lance announced, finger-gunning at Keith.
"And I'll tase it in case Lance misses," Pidge added.
"Hey! I never miss! I'm the team's sharpshooter!"
"Since when?!"
Keith huffed out a shaky laugh at their bickering. "Thanks, guys."
"Are you sure you're alright, Keith?" Shiro asked worriedly. "It must have been so hard for you to talk about this."
Keith finally let go of his knees and leaned back on his arms. He still looked a bit shaken, but definitely not as terrified as he was a minute ago. "Yeah," he murmured. "I - I'm glad I talked about it. I really didn't mind living on my own... most of the time. But there were moments I wished someone else was there to have my back."
"Well, now you have six people to have your back all the time, so you don't need to worry about that anyomre," Hunk said with a wet smile.
"Dude, you're really emotionally invested in all of this, aren't you?" Lance asked.
Hunk sniffed. "You know me."
"Speaking of Hunk, I think it's your turn to share, big guy," Pidge said.
Hunk's eyes widened. "Oh. Um... well, this is kind of embarrassing," he sighed.
"This conversation is all about embarrassing stuff, I thought you'd get it by now," Lance frowned.
Hunk shook his head. "No, it's not like that - I just don't think I have an actual phobia to share." He bowed his head down in shame. "I mean, back on Earth I was terrified of flying and got motion sick basically every time my feet left the ground, but after months of flying in the castle and piloting Yellow... well, I got used to it. I guess I had to, I mean, it would be pretty lame if I still had a panic attack every time we went flying because this is pretty much everything we do."
"Hey, don't beat yourself up for getting over your phobia," Lance said kindly. "It's actually kind of amazing. I wish I could do it."
"But this wasn't the point of the exercise..." Hunk said uncertainly.
"The point of the exercise was to open up to each other," Shiro said with a soft smile. "And you just did, Hunk, in your own way; there's no need to force yourself to talk about things that don't apply to you. You don't need to apologize for not having a phobia. Besides, this is a great example of how we can sometimes find hidden strengths and overcome our greatest fears in ways we've never thought we would."
Hunk still did not look fully convinced, but his shoulders relaxed marginally, and he sighed again. "Fine," he mumbled. "For what it's worth, I'm always stressed about running out of food. But I don't think this counts as a real phobia."
"Hey, the castle's kitchen can act up real bad sometimes," Pidge said. "Remember when it tried to attack us with food goo?"
Hunk shuddered. "Oh god, please don't remind me. I still have nightmares about that day."
"You don't say," Lance said dryly.
Hunk grimaced. "Yeah, you probably had it worse than us."
Lance waved his hand dismissively. "It's cool. Anyway, it seems like we're done here? I mean, with the phobia round."
"Actually, you haven't spoken yet," Shiro said, looking straight into Lance's eyes.
Lance blinked. "What do you mean? You guys already know about my claustrophobia."
"That is correct," Shiro said. "But if there's anything else you'd like to share, feel free to do so."
"What, no 'one phobia per person' limitation?" Lance snorted, but no one else seemed to find it particularly funny, so he cleared his throat sheepishly and shook his head. "Um, I don't think so. Can't really think of anything more terrifying than being locked up in a tiny pod." He wavered at the thought.
"That's good to hear," Shiro said.
"Although..." Lance's voice trailed off as he stared at the air in front of him, lost in thought.
"What is it?" Keith asked.
Lance sighed, shoulders dropping. "Well, it's not exactly a phobia... I don't know even how to call it. But this castle... it's really big, you know? Like really big. It's huge. And there are only seven of us here. So it's kind of quiet, you know, whenever we're not busy fighting and stuff. And sometimes I feel like it's too quiet. I mean, I have six brothers and sisters, and we all lived in this tiny house, so it was never quiet- not even at night, because I shared a room with two of my brothers, and boy did they snore.
"So being here at the castle, with a room of my own and all of that spare space... sometimes it's a little overwhelming, you know? Like, to the point where I can't even fall asleep because I just can't stand the silence. This is why I put my headphones on, but there are nights when even that doesn't help." Lance played absently with a button on his wrist plate, avoiding the others' gazes.
"Oh, buddy," Hunk said, sounding heartbroken. "I knew you missed home, but I had no idea you had trouble sleeping because of that. I'm so sorry."
"It's fine," Lance mumbled. "Like I said, not all nights are like this. But maybe..." he paused for a second. "Maybe once in a while we can all, like... I don't know, bring some blankets and pillows to the lounge and have a sleepover or something? We don't have to make it a whole even, just... well, not sleep alone, that's all." His eyes darted from one paladin to another, hesitant but hopeful.
Shiro tapped his chin in consideration. Then, his expression cleared and he smiled brightly at Lance. "That is an excellent idea," he said. "This will definitely do us all good, once in a while."
"Yeah, great thinking, buddy," Hunk leaned to the side and squeezed Lance's shoulder. The latter smiled gratefully at his friend, looking relieved.
"Does this mean I can finally get my headphones back?" Pidge asked with a smirk. "Just kidding. You can keep them if you want."
"Unless there's a thunderstorm," Lance reminded her. "Then, they're all yours."
"Should we invite Allura and Coran?" Keith asked suddenly, blushing slightly as everyone's heads shot at his direction. "I mean, to the sleepover. It's not fair not to include them..."
"Of course we'll invite them," Lance said. "I'm sure the princess would love to cuddle me at night."
"Try to cuddle Allura and she'll make sure you'll be sleeping forever," Pidge deadpanned.
"Well, all this talking about cuddling really pushes my hug glands," Hunk announced, rising to a stand and spreading his arms wide. "Come on, are we going to have this group hug now or not?"
Lance squeaked in delight as he ran to Hunk, pulling Pidge along with him. She rolled her eyes fondly before being practically sandwiched between the blue and yellow paladin.
"Why do you always have to end everything like this?" Keith grumbled, but followed Shiro's lead as both of them joined the hug.
"Shush. You're enjoying this." Hunk commanded.
The five paladins stayed like this for a couple of moments until Pidge started to squirm between Hunk and Lance's bodies, wriggling herself out with a loud gasp. "Alright, I think I've had enough of these for today. I don't want to get a hug phobia, after all."
"That's impossible!" Hunk called in devastation.
Keith placed his hand on Shiro's shoulder. "That was a really good idea for training, Shiro."
"Yeah," Pidge said. "It was kind of brilliant, to be honest."
"Well, our leader is kind of brilliant," Hunk patted Shiro's other shoulder.
"Totally. Thanks, space dad," Lance said with a wink.
Shiro's face was nearly as red as Keith's armor as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment. "Well... I'm glad you guys went along with it..." he said clumsily.
Pidge tipped the edge of her glasses. "Alright guys, this was a great talk and I love you all, but I think I'll go back to my lab now to crack some codes. Nothing personal, but I can only socialize this much."
"And I'm going to try this new cake recipe," Hunk said.
"I think I'll stay here and train," Keith said. "Shiro, do you want to spar with me?"
"Sure, why not," Shiro said.
Lance glared at all of them in shock. "I can't believe it! We just had the most awesome bonding moment in history and you're all just going back to work?! You guys are so heartless!"
"What else do you want us to do, perform a musical number about our feelings?" Pidge asked dryly.
Lance's face broke into a huge, shit-eating grin and Keith instantly growled, "Nope! Don't you even start!" he leapt forward as the blue paladin started to sing a very out-of-tune version of "I'll Stand By You," chasing him across the training deck in a furious attempt to tackle him down.
"Wow, I guess there are worse noises than thunders," Pidge mumbled over Hunk and Shiro's loud cackling.
If anyone wonders why I didn't give Hunk a phobia, it's because I truly believe his greatest fear was flying, which he obviously overcame when he became the yellow paladin. Also, Hunk is a pretty anxious guy in general - he panickes over a lot of things, so I didn't think a specific phobia would fit him.
Anyway, this was really fun to write! I hope you enjoyed it too.
