Would anyone ever love me? The way I yearned for it? Not brotherly, or motherly, or fatherly, or sisterly love, but the kind that gave you goosebumps...the kind that was always there, yet too far away to reach...the kind I yearned for.
I thought I'd finally found him, and it was true, he seemed perfect. His almond shaped eyes were brown and so was his hair. He was confident...just now I realized how annoying that was. He wouldn't walk to the halls, he would strut. Soon I found that ha wasn't the guy for me..I don't think I could ever french kiss a guy in the middle of the hallway.
After that there was the other one. He was different. He was...perfect. Confident, but not cocky, smart but wouldn't look down on me, funny, but not at anyone elses expense. I fell in love with this one. I really did. I didn't realize how painful loving was when you weren't loved back. I managed to get over him..somehow. Blocking him out of my life wasn't the easiest thing, as I always yearned to talk to him. But somehow, I managed.
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"Linette, get down here, you're gonna be late!" My mother screamed from downstairs as I dragged myself out of bed.
"Coming mom." I replied, though I knew it would be another half hour till I finally made it downstairs.
I walked into the bathroom attached to my room and stripped to nothing while studying my face closely for any sign of zits. I got in the shower and turned on the water. This was the best time to think about the following day.
When I got out I already knew I was late for school from the silence in the house. Usually my mom would be yelling at me to hurry up, no matter what time in the morning it was, and my brother would be having a fit about one thing or another. Well, it's to be expected from a 9-year-old.
I found some clean clothes and back to the bathroom for round 2- hair and make-up. As I stood in the mirror staring at my face, wondering what would look best, when I suddenly felt kinda freaked out be my eyes. I had to get out. Never mind, I'll leave it down, and I can go without make-up for once, I thought as I rushed out of the bathroom. I need to get to school anyway.
Since my mom left before me, today I get to take the bus. Oh joy. I get to sit around a bunch of hobo's with no jobs. Do I even have any bus tickets? Oh fuck it...I don't. Damn, it's like everything is against me today. Dragging myself out of the house, I began my long walk to the school.
40 minutes later I pushed the door of the school open. Crawling up the stairs I finally got to my locker, which was on the 4th floor. The joys. Now my lock would open. Damn this fuck. I kicked my locker in frustration just as the principle came out of a classroom. Surprisingly he let me off with just an odd look. On my 50th try I finally managed to get the locker door open. Getting my stuff for third period I slowly dragged myself downstairs for a late slip. Writing my name on the slip of green paper I began climbing the stairs to my 3rd period class...which was coincidently on the 3rd floor. Lots of stairs today. Too much exercise.
As I walked into the class room the teacher gave me a look that would kill, that is, if I cared. I took my seat at the back of the class, between my two friends, Danielle and Olivia. Danielle tossed her red hair back and smiled at me slowly. Its was a gesture we use to see who was in what kinda of mood without actually talking. From the evil look she received today she knew that it was a bad day to be making good natured jokes about me. When Olivia did the same I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood.
After 15 minutes of straight on talking the teacher finally managed to shut up and we started our own conversation in the back.
"What's wrong with you today Lin? You're so...unlike Lin." Danielle asked with a confused look on her face. Olivia nodded in agreement.
"She's right, we're the champagne giggle's group, you're not allowed to be down." Livvy added. This drew out a slow smile.
"I see a smile coming on, there it is...there it is!", cried Danielle happily.
"I knew you would fail us, dear pally." Olivia said, leaning back to admire her manicured nails.
"Oh shut up you two. Everything is against me today, so I'm gonna be against everything." I said in a low voice. Even though it wasn't particularly funny we all broke out in laughter. The rest of the day was much the same, with us giggling at separate intervals. I didn't see my boyfriend ,Josh, at all though, but it was to be expected. We were in different classes after all. I don't think we had a single class together. Ah well...C'est la vie.
It seemed like forever, but the last bell finally rang and we were released from the evil prison that held us captive. Unfortunately for me, today I had to stay a bit longer after school. The bloody science project was not fun, but it had to be done. I walked slowly to the library to commence my torture. At 4:25 I was still not done, but my mom was picking me up from school at 4:30, so I couldn't finish it today.
Just as I was pulling on my jacket and leaving the school, I saw two people in the window. One was Josh, and the other...oh my god. Oh my god. It was Brandi. The single most hated girl in the school. Well, by me anyway. My worst enemy. Why was he talking to her? What was he doing? Suddenly Josh closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss. They were getting closer and closer when Brandi hesitated. Josh paid no attention but rammed his lips to her own.
I was falling.
Falling.
Falling.
How could he do this to me? I contemplated going through the back, but I decided to go by him. Show him that I saw everything. Make him feel guilt. I walked through the door and was met by a blast of warm air. It only worsened my mood. Why was the weather happy while I wasn't. I stood in front of Josh while my eyes slowly filled up with tears.
"Well?" I asked uncertainly.
"Well what? We're over, Brandi's hotter than you anyway." he replied with a sneer.
The tears were about to come, but not in front of him. No. I won't let him know he hurt me. I gathered myself up and walked calmly to my moms car while he continued snogging Brandi behind me. I sat in the back while my mom drove home.
The rest of the night was spent in misery, and when I at last had a moment to myself, in bed, I cried myself to sleep, hoping that this horrid day would never repeat itself. On second thought...I wouldn't let it.
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Please Review. Please, Please, Please!
I promise I'll update soon, but PLEASE review. I want at least 5 before the next chappie. thats not too many, is it?
You know I love you all my pallies!
Katie
