How Do You Get That Lonely
For all of you Draco + Ginny shippers out there, here's a tragic songfic. The singer will surprise you.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Song rights to Blaine Larson.
It confused me really. Who would know that the biggest prat in the world could be capable of suicide? It seemed such a foreign word to be associated with him. But I suppose that was before she got to him.
That was before Ginny Weasley.
Oh yes, Ginevra Molly Weasley. Strangers found it hard to believe that she could cause so much havoc. His housemates thought it impossible in the beginning, that he could love her. All of them said it wouldn't last. How right they were.
It started my sixth year, though of course I didn't know about it. None of the Trio did, none of the Weasleys knew; hell- not even Dumbledorre himself knew those first few months.
Those first few months must have been bliss for Ginny. She never did receive much attention, from any of us. She had no friends at school. She kept to herself, was quiet, and … empty.
In the beginning of her fifth year I was the one who found the cuts on her arm. Red and angry, much like her hair. She told me to never mention it to anyone, or else I would suffer worse than her deadliest Bat-Bogey Hex. Even I was not stupid enough to tempt her.
So I said nothing.
And Ginny said nothing.
Like always.
But come Christmas time, Ginny had changed. Her brown eyes were warm, seeming to almost glitter with happiness. She laughed, the tone warm and rich, and smiled playfully at everyone around her. She held a secret, her smile said, and for once, Ginny Weasley stood out.
Of course her red hair had always stuck out like sore thumb, but now it was different. Her voice rang through the halls, her name was everywhere, and all the boys were drooling over her. Even I began to pay attention to her.
She didn't go home with us that year, voting to stay at Hogwarts. And people cared. Ron persisted that she come home, leave her mysterious guy for two weeks; be with your family.
But Ginny had laughed in his face. "Oh, Ron, I do love you, you know that?"
Confused, Ron had stopped yelling, and Ginny had only laughed harder. "Don't worry about me, Ron. I'll be safe- and happy."
Ron had had no choice but to leave her behind as the Trio took off for the Weasley's Christmas dinner. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and everyone gained at least a few pounds. Gifts were exchanged and before everyone knew it, it was time for Hogwarts again.
But there was a change in Ginny. Oh, she was just as warm and loud as before break, but now there was softness in her eyes. She was in love.
Perhaps Ron didn't learn the best way about Ginny's boyfriend. He found them snogging in the back of the library, oblivious to everything.
Ron didn't like Draco Malfoy.
At all.
But Ginny did, and she stood up for him with all her heart. "RONALD WEASLEY!" she had roared.
"GINEVRA YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HIM, HE WILL NOT TOUCH YOU, AND YOU CAN BLOODY WELL FORGET YOU EVER EVEN-"
"SHUT UP, RONALD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA-"
"OF COURSE I HAD NO IDEA," Ron had yelled furiously. "YOU NEVER BLOODY WELL TOLD ME, NOW DID YOU? SAFE? HAPPY? WITH HIM?"
A strange glint shone in Ginny's eyes as she stared him down. "I love him, Ron, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing you or anyone else can do about it!"
Ron was speechless, but he was not the only one surprised by the news. Malfoy's mouth opened slightly before pulling into a smile, a genuine smile.
Softly he had pulled Ginny to him. Looking her in the eye he asked, his voice cracking with emotion, "Is that true?"
Ginny had nodded, and it was as if something was unleashed. Malfoy's eyes lit up with happiness, another smile broke out, and he looked young, carefree- and in love.
Malfoy picked Ginny up and twirled her around, yelling at the top of his lungs while laughing (actually laughing!) "I love you Ginny Weasley, I love you."
Ron had actually fainted. Madam Prince was smiling tenderly, not caring about the noise for once. All of the Trio were shocked, though not as much as Ron.
I was shocked.
But I was also jealous.
In Malfoy's seventh year, they quit cold turkey. Abruptly Ginny had sat down next to me and said, "It's over. The bastard can go to hell for all I care."
I never did learn what had happened between them. Hermione said it was something to do with the war- and his father. Whatever it was, Ginny never told anyone; or at least not until after his death.
Ginny had moved on in a month, and had begun dating me. I was happy, deliriously happy. But in her eyes I saw ghosts of her past. She still loved the bastard.
But I didn't care because she was mine. For a wonderful four months she was mine. I was graduating, I was going to become and Auror, and Ginny was the love of my life.
And then, it happened. I got the Daily Prophet that day, and somewhere in the middle was a small article, underneath the latest Quidditch game score.
It was just another story, written on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
It said he was only eighteen, a boy around my age
They found him face down on his bedroom floor
"Ginny!" I had called out. Oh, she was not going to like this.
"What? I'm getting dressed!"
We were at the Weasley house, her bedroom down the hall from mine. All of the Weasleys heard my announcement.
"Um, a friend of yours committed suicide. The funeral is on Friday. I thought you might want to go," I said quietly.
"Who was it?" came a curious Ginny from her bedroom. All the Weasleys were gathered in the hall.
"Draco- Draco Malfoy."
There'll be services on Friday, at the Lawrence Funeral Home
Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone…
She gasped, her face paled, and then she fell to the ground in a faint. I had been right. She still loved him.
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely, and nobody know
That Friday was awful. Ginny had been quiet for the past three days, never speaking a word. Bags were under her eyes and angry cuts were on her pale arm again. Her skin seemed almost transparent.
It got worse when she saw Narcissa. In a rage Narcissa had swept towards Ginny. "You killed him! You whore, you killed him!" Tears fell down both Narcissa's and Ginny's face. I reached my hand to grasp hers, but she moved away.
"I know," she whispered. "I know."
Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget, to say I love you son?
Did no one see the writing on the wall?
Narcissa's glare softened, and then left completely. Softly she murmured, her voice aching with sorrow and regret, "We all did."
I'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can
I know hindsight's 20/20, but I still don't understand…
Ginny never forgave herself for his death. He had loved her, and couldn't bear to live without her. And she couldn't without him either.
She asked me one day, shortly after the funeral, if I had ever been filled with regret. She asked if I had ever loved anyone enough to die for them.
"That's how I feel about you," I had answered, desperately trying to find the Ginny I loved. The Ginny that Malfoy had shown me, had shown the rest of us. Now all that was left was the Ginny that Malfoy killed.
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely, and nobody know
The day before Ginny killed herself, she told me the truth. "I don't love you. I'm sorry, I really am, but I think, I can't-" she tried to explain to me, but I didn't need to hear it. I already knew.
"It's okay Ginny, I know. I know."
She had tears running down her face and her voice was cracking, but I still found her beautiful. "I loved him so much, but I had to break up with him! I was going to be fighting against him! His father was going to make him get the Dark Mark and as soon as he told me I knew- I knew! I knew that there was no way I could go into this war knowing that everyone would be going against him. I couldn't bear being with him if he were to be with Voldemort. I was weak, and frightened, and he saw it in my eyes. He knew the truth, the real reason I broke up with him, even if I never said it aloud. I didn't want to be with a Death Eater, no matter how much I loved him."
The next day Ginevra Molly Weasley was gone from the world. She asked to be buried next to him, the man she truly loved. In all the quidditch games I had played against Slytherin, in all the fights that Malfoy and I had had, I had always won. But win it truly matter- when it was about love- Draco Malfoy beat me. I, Harry Potter, had lost.
It was just another story printed on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
AUTHORS NOTE: So tell me what you think. Review please! Song by Blaine Larson, titled How Do You Get That Lonely; wonderful song, I hope you all listen to it (go to