Chapter 1: So Far Away
"I'm so fucking mad at you right now!"
"Baby, don't be that way."
"You are such a liar."
"I told you something just came up, and I can't make it. I'm sorry."
"Something always comes up. Every time you make plans to come see me something happens."
"What do you want me to do, cancel my meeting at the studio? This could be our big break."
"I just think since you promised me you'd be here for prom, you should attempt to be here."
"If I could I would baby. You know I want to."
"I really don't think you do."
"Stop that Katie! You know I love you and miss you."
"Whatever, I'll find someone else to go with."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"It means I refuse to go to my senior prom alone. I've already had people ask me to go."
"I don't want you to do that."
"Well, you don't have a choice."
"So you're going to go with some other guy?"
"Yeah, you know I'm so sick of being alone all the time. You have no clue what it's like for me."
"Oh, and you think it's easy for me?"
"Seems that way."
"I'm alone too, Katie!"
"No, you're not Landon. You have your brothers right there with you every day."
"And you have your family."
"You know my family doesn't count. You guys were all I had."
"I told you this was going to be hard."
"It's been eight months. You've promised me three times you were going to come and see me and every time you end up not coming."
"Maybe we need a break."
"Maybe we need to break up."
For the first time all night we were both quiet. We really had nothing to say. I was crying my eyes out.
"Maybe you're right," he finally said.
I didn't want to be right I wanted him to fight some more and say he loves me. I knew he wouldn't though. This same fight had happened one too many times. I had nothing really to say anymore. I just wanted this conversation to be over.
"I still love you, Katie."
"I love you too."
"Maybe this just isn't meant to be."
"I know."
"You know if you ever need me I'm here for you."
"Mmhmm."
"I'll talk to you soon."
"Bye."
We both hung up. I didn't sleep that night I couldn't. I felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest. That night every single memory we had together flashed through my head.
I was in seventh grade. I was so nervous starting a new school especially since I had come from a private school. I didn't know how this was going to be at all. When I got on the bus it seem like everyone already knew each other. I looked around for anyone that seemed slightly friendly and started walking down the aisle. As I walked by some gave me dirty looks. Others motioned as if the seat next to them were taken. Then I saw him. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. He also had a smile on his face.
"This seats free," he said smiling.
"Thanks," I said sitting next to him.
"I'm Landon," he said.
"Katie."
"Nice to meet you." His smile was so sweet.
"Nice to meet you too."
That whole day all I could think about was how sweet he was. We had a few classes together and sat right next to each other. He ate lunch with me and made me feel a lot calmer. When we got off the bus that afternoon he walked me to my house.
"So the first day is done," he said.
"I know, finally."
We both laughed.
"I really like you," he said, "I hope we stay like this forever."
"I really like you too. You're so nice to me."
"Of course I'm nice to you," he smiled.
"Thanks."
Months later, he was my first kiss and my first boyfriend. And even later my first true love. He was my first everything. And now he was my first heartbreak.