Pretend.
Sayaka pretends she doesn't mind when Hitomi runs away saying, "Girls can't love girls!"
Sayaka pretends she doesn't mind everyone laughing at her in the change room for phys ed.
Sayaka pretends she doesn't see Sakura Kyouko in the hallway at lunch hour.
Sayaka goes to school every morning, and pretends she doesn't slip her fingers between her legs at night, thinking of Sakura Kyouko.
Sayaka pretends to laugh at the homophobic jokes made by boys in her class.
Sayaka pretends that she went to visit Kyousuke, instead of picking up some pain relievers at the pharmacy.
Sayaka pretends she's sick the next day, when in actuality, she's still high from the pain relievers.
Sayaka is invited to a party that night. She pretends she didn't go, and steal a pipe and marijuana from that blonde boy she liked in the fifth grade.
Sayaka pretends she's not feeling well, and snorts cocaine with a girl called Yoshino behind the school.
Sayaka pretends to be completely sober during arithmetic, but ends up blowing it. She winks at Kyouko, blows her kisses, and accidentally breaks down in tears to Madoka and Hitomi.
She will never tell them.
She quits cold turkey, pretending it's all okay now.
She starts an online profile.
Sayaka Miki. Female. Cisgendered Female. Heterosexual.
And maybe online, she can pretend she's normal.
But she'll never get that voice out of her head.
"Girls can't love girls! It's wrong!"