Authors note!!
Hey everyone.. Okay, so this is my very first fanfiction/story in 4 years :S Gah, I have no idea if its good enough? So, it would be super awesome if you could comment, and rate and tell me if I should keep writing on it, or not.. THANKS :D 3
*Disclaimer*
I only wish these characters were mine ;) But I'm just borrowing them from the amazing, Stephenie so that I can get better at writing :D
________________________________________________________________
Never Alone
- A Bella & Edward story
THERE WAS A BRIGHT LIGHT, EVERYWHERE, AND I WAS STANDING RIGHT IN THE middle of it. I closed my eyes, and I started to relax. It was a routine now; a habit, something my body automatically did every time I started to think of him too much, and the pain would become unbearable. I don't know how long I had been standing there, and actually I wasn't bothered about it. It was nice with some peace and quiet, without everyone commenting on how dark the circles around my eyes were today and why I wasn't up for anything in the weekends anymore. No one understood me except my best friend; Jacob. But even he had this slightly skeptic expression on his face as if he was trying hard to figure out why I acted the way I did. The hardest part about the whole thing was the memories. They were beautiful. So beautiful that it would make it difficult for me to breath, then the pain in my chest would start, and then, right in the center of my heart the pain would feel like a massive deadly explosion, all because of him. I choked out a sigh, but I couldn't fool myself. The tears were already there. I felt them escape from under my closed lids, streaming down my cheeks, slowly tracing down the corner of my chin, and further down my throat. I locked both of my hands in tight fists and closed as hard as I could. I could feel the pain running from the palms of my hands up through my arms as if, fire had been lit up by glowing sparks with petroleum as the catalyst in my veins. A little sob, caused by pain, escaped my slightly parted lips. All of a sudden, as if they weren't a part of my body, my legs gave up under me, and I fell to my knees with my arms stretched out as the result of reflexes, to catch me from slamming my face right on the cold ground, and for the first time in a while I let my emotions get the best of me. I cried. I cried hard, right until my eyes were drained for tears, my head was aching and my throat was dry and swollen. And then I just lied there. My thoughts traced the path that I had tried to burry away deep inside me because they led to him, every single one of them. All the memories of his beautiful smile, his hypnotizing grey eyes with deep tones of yellow and orange around the irises, his naturally toned body, memories of him kissing me, and holding me tight against his body – protecting me. My eyes were still closed, and I imagined him lying next to me, with his left hand around my head, like a nest, and his other arm reaching over my abdomen before letting it rest there. I imagined him lying peacefully, breathing in my hair, almost as if he was sleeping. I felt his right hand investigate my face. He slowly traced my jaw line, before caressing my full lips and ending his route by stroking both of my eyes gently – one by one. He sighed. His touch made my heart beat like crazy. Dha-dhunk, dha-dunk, dha-dunk. He felt it, and once again he sighed delicately. I smiled, and then took a deep breath to calm myself. I had known him since childhood, and he still made my breath quicken with only the slightest touch.
I sighed. "I love you"
I could hear the pace of my heart drumming inside my chest as if it was about to burst.
"I love you too." He paused for a moment, and whispered, "More than you know…"
I could feel the fresh tears making their way to the corner of my eyes.
"Why did you leave me?" The words came out only as a whisper. A stream of tears started, and I heard the sobs fighting their way through my throat for the second time today.
"Edward?"
I waited. No answer.
I held my breath so I would be able to hear him, but there wasn't anything anymore. Nothing besides my heavy sobs, that was impossible to stop.
My eyes flew open and gradually, I came back to reality. It had just been my imagination. He hadn't come back, and I was still alone. Every cell and fiber in my body was calling for him, aching for his presence, but he wasn't there. How was I ever going to get used to that truth? I guess it's impossible to get over the one true love of your life. I felt weak, lying there on the cold ground with nothing but pure, heartbreaking pain inside. I moved my right hand, and felt for my heart. It was beating, but it didn't feel alive. I was breathing, but I wasn't living. I couldn't. The air that I had been used to breath for so long was gone, and had been replaced by a bitter and dry air, that I would never get used to. Still crying, I sat myself against the wall and placed my head between my knees. My head was spinning from all the crying and my eyes were burning like bonfires. With tears still running down my face, I tried to suppress the sobs and took a deep breath to calm myself. I forced my body up in a standing position, and leaned against the wall with outstretched arms for support. I still didn't trust my legs, to not give up beneath me. My body was drained from energy, and I was too exhausted to drive. I let myself hit the ground again, and laid there a couple of minutes before I reached out for my cell phone in my schoolbag. I grasped the phone tight in my hand and closed my eyes, as if I was about to sleep. My mind told me to call Jake, and have him pick me up, but my heart wouldn't agree. I couldn't let him see me burned out like this. He was my sun, and I had promised myself to always keep him smiling. If he hadn't been here, with Edward gone.. Just the thought made my head spin.
"Go home, my love." My imaginary Edward spoke again.
I bit my lip, in a failed attempt to not start crying again. With tears blurring my sight, I stubbornly shook my head. He took my right hand in his, and gently kissed the palm, before pressing it to his cold, porcelain-like smooth cheek.
"Please" he begged, whispering in my ear.
How could I say anything against his word? He, who was the most beautiful man, I had ever seen in my life. A man who had breathtaking, dazzling warm golden eyes, whenever he had fed, and eyes as black as the night, whenever he was hungry for blood. Eyes, that fitted flawlessly in his perfect face, along with his beautiful cheekbones, jaw line, full lips, and a nose that fitted amazingly in his face. 6'2" tall, a naturally toned body, and with a bronze colored haircut that was carelessly styled – though still perfect, he looked like the most handsome, almost divine creature on earth. I had him printed in the back of my head, as if I had taken a mental picture of him. I closed my eyes, and there he was. He smiled his strikingly beautiful smile, and my breath quickened, my heart raced and my head started to swoon. I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. No, I couldn't say anything against his word. Not now. I stood up, grabbed my stuff, and walked towards the exit. I grabbed the door handle, and turned around to take a last look at the place for tonight. I knew I would be coming back. The pain in the core of my stomach was still there and it slowly started to spread throughout my whole body again.
"I love you, Edward," I whispered out in the empty place. I listened for an answer. Anything.. Everything. But the only thing I could hear was my heart that once more, had been shattered into a thousand pieces.