Disclaimer: I am not Craig McCracken. Nor am I a writer for the Powerpuff girls. I am a lowly spawn of the underworld of fanfics. It happens.
Story and Plot Idea
by Brian
(I thought it up myself)
It was a beautiful, fun-loving day in Townsville. Even the villains were having fun. They were all having fun devising evil for the next 20 months. But something was wrong...
"Hey, everyone," Mojo Jojo suddenly brayed loudly, "Where's HIM? I see HIM nowhere! Is he invisible to the naked eye at the moment, or is he out of the building? I need HIM for--"
The raucous and verbose enquiry of the evil simian, Mojo Jojo, one of Townsville's most sinister (Yeah, right), most intelligent ("I can sing my ABCs!"), and one of the most well known villains, made everyone stop what they were doing and glare at him. Fuzzy Lumpkins had also just interrupted him.
"Shut up, you dern monkey," Fuzzy Lumpkins, the hillbilly shouted angrily. "We're TRYING to get good iders!" Fuzzy had a notorious short temper.
"OH, BE QUIET! All of you! I can't even hear myself think!" Princess, the stuck-up, rude and otherwise not-at-all-nice-to-be-with daughter of a millionaire shrieked, "We won't get any ideas, good OR bad if we SHOUT, you NIMRODS!!" Somehow, on the word, "NIMRODS," her bombastic yelling made the whole room shake, which in turn, caused everyone to stumble to the ground..
Miles away, HIM was making an attempt to destroy Townsville. Doing everything to his ability, he was wrecking building foundations, melting cars, and performing other feats of utter annihilation. By the time HIM has passed through the town, destroying about half of it, the Mayor had been alerted of it, taken ten minutes of inconsolable jabbering that no one could understand, then phoning the Powerpuff girls.
Back at the Powerpuff Girl's suburban home, the hotline phone was buzzing like crazy. Blossom answered it.
"Yes mayor? What's the problem?" Blossom was the leader and most mature of the Powerpuff girls. She was almost always the one to answer the hotline phone on every occasion.
"Oh, what's he calling for this time," Buttercup asked angrily. "Is Mojo Jojo trying to destroy Townsville again? This had better not take too long. I'm right in the middle of the fifth level of Super Spario Brothers: Implements of Pluming, and I've already gotten to bash people's heads in with the entrenching tool!" Buttercup is very much of a tomboy. She always loved to play any kind of video game that involved death or blood.
Bubbles pouted and said, "And I've been organizing my dolls! Hey... that gives me an idea for a neat picture!" Bubbles was the baby of the group. Even though all three of them were the same age, her visible lack of bravery in most instances made it seem like she was a lot younger.
"Bubbles, Buttercup, it's much worse than either of you think. It's... HIM!"
As ominous music is played from somewhere that no one could see, Bubbles started to shiver in fear. "You mean, the cruelest of cruel? The evilest of--"
"BUBBLES!"
"Coming!"
Back at Townsville, HIM was still waiting for the Powerpuff girls to show up while he was destroying Townsville. Suddenly, the Powerpuff girls arrived, and Blossom called out the attack pattern that they would be using this time.
"TATP! MOVE IN!" (TATP stood for "Tri Attack, from Triangular Points." It's one of the most effective attack patterns that they had formed with the help of the Professor, their father, creator, and also the smartest person in all of Townsville)
"Got it," Buttercup and Bubbles said in unison.
The three broke off and went in three separate directions, each on a different course. Blossom went to the rear side, Bubbles went to the left side, and Buttercup went to the right side, all facing HIM. They pointed their palms at HIM in a standard energy attack, and powered up. However, just before they were about to launch the attack, HIM did something totally unexpected.
He farted very loudly.
"Ooh!" he exclaimed, "That wasn't too good!"
Buttercup was the first to break down and laugh, followed by Bubbles. Blossom looked down at them as they began to lose altitude, and screamed at them to stop laughing and that it wasn't that funny. But, as she thought about it, it seemed VERY funny, so she also broke down and laughed as well...
HIM, taking an opportunity that no villain could miss, attacked the Powerpuff girls while they were still weak. Powering up, he began to zap them with his eye beams.
The Powerpuff girls began to sceam in pain, and Bubbles let loose a sonic blast from her vocal chords, which made HIM instantly power down and cover his ears instinctively.
Having had enough, the Powerpuff girls flew in, and mercilously started beating the hell out of HIM, no pun intended. In little effort, he was defeated, but before he was completely destroyed from the stress to his body, he teleported out of there.
"Huh?! Where did he go," Buttercup growled. She looked around, but didn't see him anywhere. Where is he?!? LET ME AT 'IM!"
HIM appeared out of thin air at the villain's secret hideout.
"Ah, there you are," Mojo Jojo greeted him. "I was wondering what location you were at so that I may ask you-"
"Mojo," "HIM growled at him in his demonic voice. "I was almost completely destroyed by the Powerpuff brats just now! WILL YOU GIVE ME SOME TIME TO REST?!?"
"Eep. Okay."
As HIM collapsed into a chair, he calmed down slightly and let out a sigh. "Ohh... Those Powerpuff girls are always RUINING MY PLANS!! I have to get back at them somehow..."
"Uh... HIM," Mojo began to speak, but was interrupted by HIM.
"We're all friends here. Call me by my real name."
"Uh... We don't... know your real name," Seduca interjected.
HIM though for a moment. "Come to think on it... Neither do I."
Everyone began laughing. The Amoeba boys piped up and said, "You don't even know your own name? You're worse than us!" And the three of them kept laughing, but nobody there seemed to see anything funny about their last statement.
"Nobody is worse than you three are," Mojo said.
"Hey," HIM said, his voice becoming evil, "that gives me an idea for a new plot against Townsville. Since everyone is afraid of my real name, if they hear it, there's a large chance that they bow down to me! WAHAHAHA... Now I just need to remember my name."
As HIM was thinking about what his name might be, the other villains were whispering to one another on the other end of the room.
"Do you guys really think this will work for him?"
"Oh, you never know. It just might, if there is actually someone who knows his name, then..."
"But do you think it will work for all the other people that don't really know his name?"
"Haha. No!"
Joe was down at the local library, and he was reading up on the modern day superstitions and other gothic rituals. If anyone were to ask why he was reading a book on that subject, he would stare at them trying to think of an answer. Pretty soon, though, a man with a red complection, a fake beard and a high-pitched voice slowly sidestepped over to him.
"Oh, that looks like a good book," the stranger said, "What shelf did you get it from?"
"Oh, just that one marked 'Myths,'" Joe replied. "You interested in those spooky things that go 'bump' in the night? Ho ho ho."
"No, I'm more partial to 'creak.'"
Joe stared at him for a second in bewilderment, and chuckled, thinking he had made a joke. "I like a man with a sense of humor. Why don't you come down to my office later, and we'll talk business." Joe handed the man a small business card.
The man stared at the card for a moment, then said, "Thank you."
As HIM man walked off, and Joe got back to the book, the card the man's claw seemed to disintegrate. "Stupid citizens of Townsville. They will all feel my wrath when I take over." HIM walked over to the "Myths" section and scanned through the book titles with his claw as a pointer, and picked out several titles that looked promising. He carried them over to a table, and set them down with a loud "fwup" sound. He opened the first book, "Old Myths and Legends Rarely Discussed Today."
As he was looking through the book, it didn't seem to have anything to do with spiritual manifestations like he was.
He set the book aside and went on to the next one. This book, regardless of the title, didn't seem to have anything in it that he would be interested in either. But after two more tries, he gave up. Nothing in any of these books had anything to be thought of as relevant. For an entity such as himself, he sure wasn't known very well... But surely, somebody out there knew his name.
"...And to the animal rights activists, I say... 'your pet squirrels will be safe from harm!'" The Mayor, who could probably also be called the village idiot, was in the process of writing his new "mayoring" speech; Miss Sara Bellum, his assistant and secretary was helping him through this process. Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door.
"Come in," the mayor called.
The door opened, and in came a man wearing a fake mustache who had a red complection.
"Hello," HIM said. "I was just... walking around town, and people were saying something about HIM, and how nobody could really say his name without cringing in fear, but when I asked them what his name was, nobody knew. And then I though, 'hey. Our Mayor seems to be the oldest person in town. Surely he knows.' So, Mr. Mayor, do you know what his real name is?"
The Mayor and Miss Bellum just sat there and stared at him for a few moments.
Miss Bellum said, "HIM, what are you trying to pull?"
HIM yanked off his fake beard. "This."
The Mayor started laughing. "HA HA HA HA ! Good joke, man!
"SHUT UP," HIM hissed at him, his voice suddenly becoming demonic.
"Okay."
"Now," HIM began, his voice still demonic, "I demand that one of you tell me my true name!"
"But him," Miss Bellum started to say, "you know that everyone in Townsville fears you, be it your name, be it yourself, they have come to know and fear everything about you. Why do you want to know your own name?"
"It is that very fear I want to BUILD on! Plus," he said, blushing a lovely shade of peach, "I also want to remember what it is."
"Oh, for Pete's sake, TELL HIM HIS NAME, MISS BELLUM!!" The mayor was close to tears.
"Okay, Mayor," Miss Bellum agreed, "if it'll get him off our backs, I'll find his file. Now, if you'd get off me..."
"Oh. Right. Sorry."
Miss bellum strode over to the nearby filing cabinet, and looked through the files for HIM.
I don't see his file anywhere here, she thought to herself. Oh. Here it is. Hmm... it just says "HIM." Well, I'll make up a name, and hope that he doesn't know Spanish... I hope he appreciates this..."
"Okay," she said aloud. "It says your name is... Muerte Alma. I think that's Spanish."
"What does that mean in english," he asked, "Lies and deception?"
"No," she said. "I think, if I know my Spanish, it means Death, Muerte, and Soul, Alma."
"Hmm... Death Soul..." HIM said, thinking out loud. "I like it, I like it. You two will be spared when I conquer Townsville."
"Okey-dokey," The Mayor said.
How will the Citizens of Townsville react when they hear the words "Muerte Alma?" Will they cower in fear and be overrun? Or will they cower in fear and the Powerpuffs will once again save the day? Well, I'll tell you, the results are quite funny. Stay tuned for the next Part in HIM's Heritage!