I was already on my third shot of tequila and I'd only been here for twenty minutes.

"Can you believe it, Cristina? That evil, evil man put my underwear on the bulletin board."

"Face it, Mer… the man is a McBastard." I ordered my fourth shot, and Joe flicked his gaze to Cristina. She slid her gaze to me.

***Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view, ***

"Meredith, I think you need to…" Cristina started.

"Shhh, I want to hear this song." I interrupted her.

***Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love ***

***Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces ***

***And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love ***

***Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
All my resistance will never be distance enough ***

***Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head ***
***Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up ***

***If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love***

After my fifth shot, I started getting philosophical.

"I am the wreck of the day, everyone has to stop and stare. My life is crap, and my underwear is on display for everyone to see. I hate Derek."

"Meredith, shut up."

"Why shut up? What's wrong with telling the truth?"

"You're drunk, shut up."

I wrapped my hand around my sixth shot of tequila. In the background the music changed to a big band song.

"What the hell is with the music, Joe?"

"I thought it gave the place a more classy atmosphere."

"Oh… whatever." I downed my shot in a single gulp of fire and alcohol. The music continued to play.

***Of all the boys I've known, and I've known some

Until I first met you I was lonesome

And when you came inside, dear

My heart grew light

And the whole world seemed new to me***

***You're really swell, I have to admit

You deserve expressions that really fit you

And so I've wracked my brain

Hoping to explain all the things that you do to me***

***Bie Mir Bist Dou Shone

Please let me explain

Bie Mir Bist Dou Shone

Means you're grand

Bie Mir Bist Dou Shone

Again I'll explain

It means you're the fairest in the land***

Mc-Freakin-Dreamy… he was my problem. It was his stupid little boy-penis. That's what made him… something. I was sure there was something ugly and scathing I was thinking, but after three shots in a row, my capacity for clear thought was reduced to nil. All I was going to remember the next morning was Cristina helping me off my barstool. At least that was it, until the bell above the door tinkled, and alerted me that someone was coming in.

And I'll be damned if it wasn't the man I never wanted to see again. Only I really did want to see him… I wanted to see him, to touch him, so badly it hurt. Or maybe it was just the alcohol in my system.

As Cristina dragged me out the door by the arm, I met Derek's gaze and paused to give him a sloppy drunken smile. He took a step towards me, and Cristina slid between us, shoving me towards the door.

"Dr. Yang," Derek acknowledged her. She gave him a look that could melt steel and barely acknowledged him with a nod of her head. Outside, I took one last look at Derek before Cristina dragged me off. I know she did it for my own good, but he made me feel so… there was a word that my drunken brain searched for but failed to produce, and I left my though unfinished. Hell, with as much as I'd had to drink, I couldn't even remember why I hated him right now.

I told Cristina as much, and she speared me with a look.

"You should really swear off the tequila."