A short story (sad) about Roxas and Namine. Enjoy.
He calls me Kairi. Everytime he holds me or touches me. His breath is warm on my neck, my heart racing as he lays next to me drawing patterms on my bare flesh. It burns everywhere he touches, but it never hurts. The hurting always happens somewhere in my chest as he whispers her name in my ear.
I never talk during this, I let him call me what he wants. Because I can't say no. Not to him, not when he looks at me like that. If he'll hold me, press me tight to him then I'll let him do what he wants. What ever he needs. And this is how he needs me. So, I lay next to him in his bed, feeling his finger trail along my back as he keeps his eyes closed. If he opened them, it would break the illusion. We have the same eyes, but thats where it ends. Unlike her, I'm short with blonde hair. My curves are less defined as hers and I'm ghostly pale.
Again, he whispers her name. Suddenly he's grabbing my arm tightly, to the point in which there is pain. This time I can't hold it in, I gasp from his abrupt move. When I look at him, I realize the illusion had broke. That pain he had inflicted was a softer version of his own. Because I'm not Kairi. Because, this time, he couldn't pretend I was. Before I know it, tears slide silently down my face. Roxas doesn't see them, his blue eyes only see through me. Only see what I'm not.
At times like these, it hurts the most. Still looking through me, he climbs back over me. It hurts, how rough he is, as if he's punishing me for not being her. But I can't tell him to stop. Instead, I let him inflict the pain. When he does it, all the tears seem to go away. Until I'm trapped in myself, feeling the despair but not able to let it out. Roxas never understood, that if I could, I would trade Kairi bodies just to make him happy. To make him love me.
Slowly, he pulls out. Rolling over to his side, he pulls me close. But again, it's not my name on his lips. It's not my face on his mind.
When he finally gets up and leaves the room, I curl up in a ball and bite my wrist. Waiting to scream, to cry, from everything that hurts inside. Nothing comes out. There's nothing left in me to scream anymore. As if, when he walked out that door he took everything I had left with him. I keep the blanket around me as I sit up, as if I actually had privacy, and look around his room. Things lay on the floor, scattered around in the dark. As usual, he left me in the dark.
For some reason, this finally lets me cry. Out of everything, him not turning on the lights when he left finally lets everything built up, out. And it feels like I can't breathe. As much as I care for him, as much as I love him, he will never love me. He didn't even care enough to put on the fucking light.
This is when realization hits. I can't do this anymore. It's killing me and he doesn't care. Sure, I've always known this. But it was the final nail in the coffin. That tiny bit of hope finally died out.
Sitting there, he finally came in. Black shorts hanging off his hips loosely as he crawls back over to me. Closing his eyes, he whispers her name again. It makes me flinch back, away from him as he goes to kiss me. His oceanic eyes open in confusion, seeing me scoot away from him. The silence lingers in the air, still refusing to say my name. Slowly, Roxas crawls back to me. Again he closes his eyes, and ever so softly, he brushes his lips again. Instantly his body relaxes and he breathes out her name again.
"I'm not Kairi!" It explodes from me, causing me to burst into tears again. Roxas' body goes rigid as he sits up, jerked back into reality. My body moves instantly, getting off his bed while clinging to the blanket. His blue eyes study me in shock, but he remains silent. Which seems to hurt me more. Crouching down, I grab my clothes and shove them on while remaining behind the blanket.
Watching, and realizing what I was doing, he reaches out to me. Blue eyes gaze into mine desperatley, as if I were hurting him. "Please, don't go. Don't leave me." It's a whisper, and it's so tempting to reach out and grab his hand, to pretend he loves me, I take a step toward him. But I stop.
"Then say my name." It's a plea, and I know that I'm begging to hear him say it. Roxas looks down instead, answering me with the silence. "Then I can't stay." This time I look away from him, knowing that if I looked any longer, I might just take it back. "I'm not Kairi."
Shutting the door behind me, I break out into a run. Trying to shut down everything inside, trying to forget. I can't though. My body breaks down, crmpling on the side walk. I can't forget, just like I couldn't forget I wasn't Kairi. I've never been Kairi.
So let me know what you think. If I should write more like this or if I shouldn't. Just let me know.
Anyways, thank you for reading it, and if you loved it then check out my other stories (please). Thank you! I hope you all liked it out there.