Author's Note: Sometimes inspiration strikes in the weirdest ways. I don't own #Blindspot and the computer I wrote this on is apparently haunted, given the difficulty it gave me just in typing this.
"You're pregnant?" Roman whispered accusingly as soon as Remi walked in the door. He'd been waiting on the couch all afternoon, ever since he'd found the ultrasound picture while putting away the laundry.
"Quiet!" Remi stared at her brother. "How did – you went in my room?" she grabbed at the picture in Roman's hands. Gently smoothing it out, she asked. "Shepherd doesn't know, right?"
"Of course not," Roman replied. "She's gonna kill you." His eyes were wide as he looked at his sister. Remi was staring at the ultrasound, not paying attention to him anymore. He couldn't imagine his sister with a baby. She'd taken care of him, protected him his whole life. But a baby was something else. And he knew that Shepherd wouldn't take the news well.
"I know," Remi's voice was wistful. She took a deep breath, forcing the emotion down. "I'll deal with her later. And you – stay out of my room." Remi shoved the ultrasound into her pocket before storming off to her bedroom.
She'd known it was stupid to keep the picture. It was risky – and Roman just proved it. If Shepherd had seen it instead…Roman was right. Shepherd was going to kill her when she found out. Babies meant love and caring and other people; all of which were weaknesses in Shepherd's eyes. Remi usually agreed. Other people were unnecessary entanglements. Caring made you weak, more likely to back down, and give someone else the upper hand. It was easier to remain detached.
But then she'd met Adam, and he challenged her. He wasn't like the other boys, most of whom seemed scared of Remi. They'd met in the gym. Remi had gotten there early, sneaking in to use their equipment. Adam hadn't made any mention of the fact she wasn't supposed to be there, but instead challenged her to lift weights. Whoever lost would buy breakfast. She lost, handedly, but was glad he didn't try to pretend.
Their morning meetings became more and more frequent, and became less and less about training. For the first time, Remi had someone else in her life besides her brother – which of course meant that Shepherd hated him. As Shepherd's rules and punishments about Adam became more extreme – Remi just found loopholes and got more creative about sneaking around.
Everything had been fine until a few weeks ago. Remi had been feeling nauseous and achy, and had originally passed it off as some virus. But while shopping one day, she saw the pregnancy tests and felt sick all over. She went back the next day, stealing the test and waiting an agonizing five minutes for the results. She'd only just gotten up the courage to go to the clinic for confirmation a few days ago, and that was when they did the ultrasound, showing her the first, grainy, black and white image of her child.
Remi nearly threw up when she realized it. She understood now why Shepherd always considered things like this weaknesses. Remi felt weak just thinking about it.
Taking one last look at the ultrasound picture, Remi tore it into pieces. She'd have to deal with it soon enough, but for now, she wanted it to be a secret.
Remi managed to keep it a secret for a few more months, far longer than she'd originally expected. The winter months allowed Remi to dress in oversized jackets and bulky sweatshirts to hide her growing belly. Roman had been curious, pestering her about the baby and what was happening, especially at the beginning, but then began to help without expecting any answers in return.
For the most part, Remi continued on as if nothing was different. She went to school during the day, did chores and lessons at night. She avoided physical training as much as possible, fearing what would happen if a stray punch landed wrong during a fight, and so convinced Shepherd that she was focusing on language and science for now. For his part, Roman helped cover for her, saying that they'd sparred in the mornings before school, or whatever else he could think of to prevent Shepherd from getting too suspicious.
Sometimes, Remi herself could even allow herself to forget she was pregnant, but then the baby started kicking, and it became all too real. She couldn't escape the worry of what would happen when the baby was born – a girl, she knew now. Roman was right – even if she could keep hiding the pregnancy from Shepherd, there was no way to hide a crying baby.
The ruse worked until spring, and a week of unseasonably warm weather made Remi's oversized shirts look painfully out of place.
Shepherd suggested they go for a 'run' – an old army buddy was giving them access to the training ground used for recruits. She'd been growing increasingly frustrated at how the winter had slowed them down, keeping them inside, and Shepherd was certain that their skills were fading right as she needed them the most.
Remi protested as much as she could, but it was a lost cause. Shepherd wasn't one for weakness, and if she pushed it too far, it would just wind up worse for her in the end.
The hour drive out to the base went far too quickly. Remi had spent the whole time trying to remember what these drills usually consisted of. Shepherd could be counted on adding her own twist to these 'games' but it was always a mix of speed, strength, and agility. None of which were easy anymore. Remi had kept up with parts of her training as much as she could, but even still – her reflexes where just as sharp, but her reactions were slow and clumsy. She'd likely fail as soon as she started – that is – assuming Shepherd was somehow blind and didn't notice her belly the second she took off her jacket.
"What are you going to do?" Roman hissed as they walked behind Shepherd.
Remi bit her lip, trying to think of some last minute plan.
In the end, it didn't matter. It seemed Shepherd had known all along.
Remi shed her jacket as they walked out to the course, waiting for the reaction. She could feel Shepherd's eyes on her, but the older woman remained silent.
"One mile. Over the wall. Tires. Then crawl." Shepherd's voice was cool and flat as she gave the instructions. "There shouldn't be a problem. Unless there's something you want to tell me?" Shepherd stared at Remi, challenging her to speak up.
"No problems," Remi said, gritting her teeth.
"Good. Loser will clean the house for the rest of the month."
And with that, they were off.
Remi was surprised how fast she could still run, considering. She overtook Roman with half a mile left to go, and was at the climbing wall before she knew it. Remi struggled to find a foothold, but refused to give up. Roman caught up before she was halfway up. He glanced at her sympathetically, but climbed on. They both knew what would happen if he tried to help.
She made it awkwardly through the tire run, her slowest one yet. She stared at the muddy field ahead of her. Roman was near the end. It would be impossible to catch up now, but she was going to finish. She wasn't going to give Shepherd the satisfaction of quitting. Bending over at an awkward angle, she forced her way through the pit, her head down and her bottom up, keeping her stomach off the ground.
At the end, Remi stood up next to Shepherd. Her body was muddy and scraped up, but she had done it. Roman stood across from her, looking worried about what was next.
Shepherd stared at Remi, her eyes dark. Without saying a word, she reached up, slapping Remi across the face.
Shepherd never mentioned the pregnancy. She'd coolly ask how Remi's training was going, and made sure she did her chores as expected after the loss. Remi, for her part, stopped hiding her belly, but she was too nervous to mention the baby or what would be happening after it was born. In moments of hope, she would daydream about a future – holding her daughter in her arms, rocking her to sleep. She even bought an outfit with some money she had saved – a little onsie with birds across it. She hid the outfit in her backpack, stuffed in with her biology and calculus textbooks.
A little over a week later, it was time. Remi doubled over in pain one evening, screaming as she grabbed her stomach. Roman looked scared, but Shepherd calmly stated that they would go to the hospital shortly.
Early the next morning, just as the sun was starting to rise, Remi screamed and gave her final push as her daughter was born. Moments later, as she held her in her arms for the first time, Remi finally realized what had been missing in her life all this time. Love.