A/N: Taken over by another bout of insanity, the chickenpox (well, they're going away now), and Pencilmort, I have decided to type out something else I wrote while on holiday in Malaysia (yes, that WAS 3 months ago!)
So be prepared for craziness, lunacy and a general lack of plot!
One
fine day in a Hogwarts hallway…
HP: There he is! Get him! (A mob of
Hogwarts student stampede down the hallway to the Great Hall with makeshift
weapons (torches, broomsticks and tomato soup) to attack a black-cloaked figure
standing there)
HG: Let's get him!
NL: Death to Voldemort!
DT: Hey! You said You-know-who's name!
NL: I did? (faints)
DT: Oh well. Let's get on with it!
RW: Yaah! (Starts hacking into the black-cloaked
figure)
DM: Guys, knock it off! It's me, good ol'
Draco Malfoy. Don't you recognise me?
HP: (peering closely at black cloaked
figure) 'Snot Voldemort! (everyone cringes)
DM: No, it isn't! I shall have to tell
Father about this unprovoked attack!
HP: Hmph. Lot of use that is.
DM: My father will personally oversee your
execution, if it comes to that!
RW: Oh yeah? Well my father can order your
father's execution if it comes to that!
DM: You'll never find the proof! The Malfoy
mansion's dungeon is so well hidden under the hallway carpet, no one can find
it! Even him!
RW: You've said too much already! Professor
Dumbledore, sir!
AD: Yes, Ron?
RW: Malfoy's just admitted that there is
proof of his covert Deatheater happenings!
DM: Not covert, they're quite open, really.
Anyone can join!
AD: Ah. I must owl the Ministry
immediately.
DM: Damn!
AD: No swearing, Mr. Malfoy.
MMcG: Yes. 5 points off Slytherin.
DM: Where'd you come from?
MMcG: 1st year transfiguration.
Why?
AD: Never mind about that, Minerva. We have
more important things to do. Like searching the Malfoy mansion.
MMcG: Ah. I see. Well, all of you, back to
your classes.
HG: But it's lunchtime, Professor.
MMcG: Every lunchtime there are extra
classes, Miss Granger. They have just started up, so if you want to join, come
along today.
HG: Extra classes? Yippee! (Runs off to
find said classes)
RW: Oh no. Not more homework.
MMcG: The classes are optional, Mr Weasley.
I suggest you do not come if you don't want more work.
RW: Right then. I'll be of to lunch now.
(exit)
HP: Me too. (exit)
DT, NL DM: Me too. (DT, NL exit)
AD: Mr Malfoy, you shall stay here.
DM: Aww, do I have to? Why can't you just
go to my father and take this whole thing up with him?
MMcG: Good point. You are excused.
DM: Thanks. Bye. (exit)
MMcG: Now start over again. What's
happening with the Malfoy mansion?
AD: Ron says that Draco Malfoy said that
the door to the secret dungeon is under the hallway carpet.
MMcG: Interesting. We shall have to contact
the Ministry.
AD: Precisely.
LV: No you won't!
AD: Oh yes I will!
LV: And what makes you so sure?
AD: Because I'm the good guy!
LV: Oh yeah?
AD: Good guys always win.
LV: Hmm. Very true.
AD: Exactly.
LV: Well, to save you the trouble, I'll
just go now and leave you to the boring life of a teacher at Hogwarts. Bye!
(Disappears)
AD: I'm not just any old teacher! I'm the
headmaster! (Pauses and strokes beard) Hey! He can't Disapparate inside
Hogwarts!
LV: (Appearing again) Well this isn't
Hogwarts!
MMcG: It isn't?
LV: Oh no. This is only a small portion of
a model of Hogwarts in the middle of France.
AD: Is that so?
LV: Well, it's actually nearly in Spain,
but…
AD: Right then. Who were the students?
LV: Flobberworms make rather life-like
models, don't they?
AD: And what about Minerva?
LV: Oh, she's real enough. Aren't you, my
dear?
MMcG: Uh. No-no-yes, I'm real.
AD: Are you quite sure about that?
MMcG: Uh, no, not really.
AD: Well then, who are you?
MMcG: Dumbledore, I am your father.
AD: You are? What a clever disguise.
MMcG: No actually. I'm Voldie's number one
supporter, Harry Potter.
AD: Harry Potter and the evil dark lord?
That can't be right.
LV: No, it can't. (changes into Harry) You
see, I'm only Harry. But that was fun, wasn't it, Professor McGonagall?
MMcG: What? Oh, yes, of course it was. Now,
if you'll excuse me, I'll just go and teach the extra Transfiguration class.
(walks swiftly down hallway)
AD: That was rather clever, Harry. How did
you do it?
LV: Ah, well, you see, I'm not actually
Harry. Mwahahahaha! (waves wand around a bit)
***Five
minutes later, after the red smoke has disappeared***
AD: Where am I?
PP: Albus, how many times do I have to tell
you not to go running around after He-who-must-not-be-named?
AD: But the Malfoy mansion-(stops as Madame
Pomfrey pours a potion down his throat)
PP: That's better. Now get some rest, or
I'll have to give you the Sleeping potion again. And we don't want that, do we?
AD: No, not really. Good night.
A/N: You were able to figure out who's who?
Good. Now, please review. I use that term loosely. Look, just write something
in that little box below and press the button, okay? Even if it is just to tell
me to go back to my padded cell. Or, on the other hand, you can give me more
crazy stuff to write about…although I do believe I have a good supply for a
while…