AN: Okay, so I am so addicted I read every spoiler I can get my hands on. While I would love to give you and I the Hollywood ending we all know that HH will not give us, this has been on my mind for weeks now and I had to get it out before the season finale. It breaks my heart but this is what my mind had to write. I gave credit where credit is due with the quotes, those with no credit are those from my mind or those of my family. Please let me know your thoughts, even if you want to stake me on an anthill and poor honey on my head.
So this is it.
He returns to the Army tomorrow, ready to train the next generation of snipers.
She flies off to Indonesia tomorrow for a yearlong dig of great historical importance.
So this is it. Why?
He cannot do the job alone anymore.
She cannot do the job at all anymore.
So this is it. This is where they stand. Both alone, hearts crushed, minds exhausted.
He wanted to move on, to love someone other than her. He knows now that's impossible as long as hers is the face he sees every day.
She thought she wanted him to move on, to love someone other than her. She knows now that it's impossible to watch him do so.
So this is it. "The proper means of increasing the love we bear our native country is to reside some time in a foreign one." ~William Shenstone.
He finished packing his ACU Deployment Bag and sits quietly drinking a beer.
She finished packing her field kit and sits quietly drinking a glass of wine.
So this is it. Always make sure the arrangements are made. All the "t's"crossed and "I's" dotted.
He stands, paces around his apartment, making sure all his personal items are put away for his sublet (Mr. Nigel Murray) to move in. Checks for a second time all the needed paperwork was ready for his reinstatement.
She checks to make sure she has her passport and paperwork all in place and then walks over to the window and looks out on the city, unconsciously looking in the direction of his apartment.
So this is it. "A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope" William Bolitho
He wonders if and how things would be different if he hadn't taken a gamble, if he hadn't confronted her with changing their relationship.
She is pondering their relationship, wondering if or how it would be different if she had been honest when he confronted that night he took the gamble.
So this is it. "If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me." (Song title by Jimmy Buffet).
He picks up the phone, dials, and smiles as he hears the voice on the other end. His son Parker is still feeling sad but happy that he called and will call him tomorrow after he gets settled. "I love you's" are exchanged easily and the call ends.
She picks up the phone, remembering Angelia, her best friend, is away on her Honeymoon in Paris. She calls her father, reminding him of his duty to watch her apartment and to pick her up to escort her to the airport in the morning. "I love you's" are hesitantly spoken and the call ends.
So this is it. "Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds". Franklin D. Roosevelt
He sits down and absently turns on the TV, tuning to a baseball game, any noise will do in the strangling silence. His thoughts are not on the game, they are on her. Should he call her, go see her?
She turns on her laptop with intentions of writing another chapter in her newest book. She stares at an empty screen. Her thoughts are not on the book, they are on him. Will he call, will he come over?
So this is it. "The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy." Jim Rohn
He thinks of her, of their last kiss, of the feel of her in his arms as he comforted her during the "Gravedigger" trial. Of all the times he held her.
She thinks of him, of their last kiss, of the way she feels so safe and calm in his arms, of how she could never have survived the trial without him by her side.
So this is it. They say confession is good for the soul.
He quickly stands up his mind is on her, how he gambled and lost. But did he really gamble? He said he wanted to give them a shot, but he gave her no solid evidence as to why and if he knew her he knew she lived only on the evidence. He had evidence.
She turned from the laptop; her mind was only on him, if leaving was right why did it hurt? Why was it with that each breath she took it was as if sadness was what she inhaled instead of air? Her mind was racing, a battle being fought between logic and emotion.
So this is it. It's all in what you know.
He begins to write a list, the most important list he has ever written. A list of evidence why he loved her, why she loved him, why they belonged together. So the gambler took another gamble. He took that list and typed it into his computer. Pressing the word send was the hardest and easiest thing he ever did in his life.
She is still battling between her emotions, reasoning why leaving was for the best, the best for him, the best for her, the best way to keep their relationship from changing. The battle escalated into War when she heard the familiar ding of an incoming email. "I love you" was all she saw in the subject heading.
So this is it. Courage starts with the first step.
He sits wringing his hands, staring at the screen. Why hasn't she replied? Did she even get it? Did it scare her off? The unknown was killing him. Should he go over there? He stands up brushing his hands down his pant legs. Courage starts with the first step; he takes that step towards his door when he hears a gentle knock.
She holds her breath, not waiting for him to answer she opens the door. Courage starts with the first step; she takes that step towards him. She hears him suck in a deep breath, sees his eyes go wide with surprise, his pupils dilate with desire.
So this is it. When offered your heart's desire grab with both hands.
He slowly releases his breath. He is frozen in place; the owner of his heart is standing ten feet away. He sends a quick and quiet,"Thank you" to God for answered prayers. He looks across the room into her eyes and he knows, he knows that he is being given his heart's desire.
She looks into his eyes from across the room, sends a quick and quite thank you to the universe for allowing her to come to the understanding within herself that her heart will be safe in his hands. She takes the five steps needed to reach him places her right hand on his heart and she knows, she knows this is the heart she desired.
So this is it. A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time. ~Levende Waters
He leans down to meet her.
She tilts her head up to meet him.
This may not be their first kiss, but it's the first in which both allow emotions to be felt.
He reaches up wipes away a tear from under her eye.
She brushes the tear threatening to fall off his strong chin.
So this is it. "We loved with a love that was more than love." ~Edgar Allan Poe
He teaches her the difference between sex and making love.
She learns she knew nothing of making love only of sex.
So this is it. "Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute". ~Josh Billings
He wakes up to an empty bed. The only thing left is a note on her pillow.
She leaves his place before the sun rises. The only thing she left is a note on her pillow.
The note read.
So this is it.
I'll see you in 12 months.
I love you, '
Bones.