The usual applies, I do not own nor will I ever own Rizzoli and Isles. They belong to Tess and TNT.

If I Had It To Do All Over Again

Chapter 1

They were still avoiding each other a week and a half after Hoyt was killed. They didn't spend time alone with each other anymore. When they went anywhere they were always with friends. At work it was business only, Maura asked Frost to come down to the morgue for her reports or she would drop them off long after Jane had left for the day. Jane knew why she was avoiding Maura. She felt guilty because she never should have taken Maura into the prison hospital with her. When she saw Hoyt on top of her with that scalpel at her throat the guilt was part of what sent the chain of events in action. She didn't care what happened to her but she was going to make sure Hoyt didn't hurt Maura.

She fought harder than she had ever fought before. She knew Maura was defenseless and she could not let Hoyt hurt her. She wrestled him to the floor and when the scalpel dropped from Hoyt's hand she knew it was her only chance. She crawled to the scalpel and fought with Hoyt to gain control of the instrument. Once she had it in her hand she buried it in Hoyt's chest. Some days she still couldn't believe it was over. Hoyt has not only been her sleeping nightmare but he was in her thoughts most every day. Now it was over.

But was the price too high? Maura walked around a shell of her old self. Hoyt did more damage than Jane first thought. She never smiled at least she never smiled at Jane the way she used to and Jane missed that the most. She'd loved Maura from the first time she laid eyes on her. She never believed in love at first sight until she met Maura. But now when she needed her the most she was pushing her away, no Maura wasn't pushing her away she was pushing Maura away. She needed to keep her at arm's length because Hoyt proved it wasn't safe for Maura to be around her. It was killing her, she needed the comfort that only Maura could give her at times like these but she couldn't take the chance.

Why was Jane pushing her away? Every time she approached her she would turn her away like the plague. She finally gave up after the first couple of days but this has got to stop. She needed Jane right now. She missed her strength and the comfort that strength gave her. She stormed out of the morgue and forcefully pushed the up button on the elevator. Her heels could be heard throughout the building and the cadence told Jane that she was not happy.

She walked into the homicide division and straight up to Jane's desk. Waited until Jane looked up and she knew she had her attention. "You…me…my place…7:00 p.m." She smiled at Korsak and Frost then spun on her heels and left the office with a new spring in her step. Maura was still smiling when she entered the morgue, her first genuine smile since they had left the prison. She sat at her desk and started thinking about what she was going to say or do tonight. She'd realized that day with Hoyt that she did not want to be without Jane in her life she'd miss her friendship immensely. When Hoyt had said she was going to feel a little prick she knew at that moment that she was going to die but there wasn't anything she could do about it. The fear she felt for herself was nothing compared to what she felt for Jane. She knew that after she died he was going to kill Jane but she was going to suffer. Hoyt would make sure of that.

Her phone rang before she could think about things anymore. "Dr. Isles." She listened to the caller. "Ok I'm on my way." She arrived at the crime scene and knew from the face of the first responders that this was not going to be a good one. Not that any death is good but some are worse than others. She walked towards the front door and stopped at the officer with the clipboard. "Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner." She held her ID for him to see he nodded his head and she entered the house and stopped just inside the door to cover her shoes with booties and to put the gloves on.

Frost was standing at the entrance to the kitchen taking deep breathes, Jane walked out of the kitchen and placed her hand on Frost's shoulder neither of them saw Maura. "Why don't you go outside and interview neighbors to see if they saw or heard anything?"

"I'll be fine Jane you don't have to baby me." Maura heard the defensiveness in Frost voice but she had also heard the sympathy in Jane's. She seemed to be one of the few who didn't belittle Frost because of his weak stomach.

"I'm not babying you, well maybe a little." Maura heard the smile in her voice. "But I do need someone to do the interviews and I want it done right. You can certainly stay in here and help with the investigation but we'll still have to interview the neighbors. So why not save us the time and you can start the interviews now."

"Since when have you learned how to be diplomatic Rizzoli?" Frost smiled at his partner.

"This has nothing to do with diplomacy and all to do with expediency. You saw the look on Maura's face, if I'm late getting to her house I'm dead meat."

That was Maura's cue to make her presence known. "You better believe it." Both Frost and Jane swung around to face the doctor. Maura watched as the smile on Jane's face grew like it used to when she looked at her but then watched as she schooled her features and showed no emotions at all. Well at least there's still something there. "So what have we got?"

Frost walked by her on his way out. "It's not pretty Doc."

"They never are Barry." She smiled as she watched him walk out the door. When she turned back around Jane had already returned to the kitchen. Maura took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen. "Out of the frying pan into the fire." She muttered to herself. She stood at the entrance to the kitchen and took in as much as she could. "So what can you tell me about our victim?"

Korsak looked between Maura and Jane and Maura caught the barely perceptible nod from Jane. "Victims. The parents are here in the kitchen and two kids upstairs." He referred to his notes. "Mother, Susan and Father Gino Picolli both age 37. Two kids upstairs, daughter Katy, 5 years old and son Gino Jr. and 4.

Jane watched as Maura's face fell. She knew how much cases with kids upset Maura, hell they got to everyone. She wanted to walk over and wrap her arms around her but she couldn't. "It looks like the kids were asleep so I don't think they felt anything." Jane whispered from across the room.

Maura looked up at Jane and gave her a sad smile. "Thank you. Let me see what we have here then I will head upstairs." She walked over to the female body, careful to avoid any of the blood splatter. The woman's hands were tied over her head and she was handing from the ceiling fan. Maura was shocked when she took a good look at the woman. She turned around and looked at Jane then back at Korsak who were both avoiding making eye contact. She then turned back to the body. "Multiple blunt force trauma to the head. And multiple stab wounds to the chest." She turned to Korsak. "Did you find the weapon used?" He shook his head. "Well once we get them all back to the morgue we can make casts of the wounds and work from there. Tell CSU they can cut her down now." She moved over to the male body whose body was sitting upright in one of the kitchen with his hands tied to the chair arms. "Single GSW to the forehead. He died instantly." She took the liver temperature as she had with the woman and wrote in her notebook. She took one more look at the woman before she turned around. She still couldn't get over that fact that she looked enough like Jane to be her twin.