Chapter 1
The General Flee roared down the road in pursuit of a police patrol car. The patrol car hits a bump in the road that sends it flying through the air it is followed by the General Flee hitting the same bump which sends it flying also.
"Welcome, to Hazzardous County."
"As you might of figured out by now, there's something different about this... well, this is Hazzardous County, they do things different here... and I'm sure you're thinking "why the heck would we care about the goings-on in a hillbilly county like Hazzardous?" well, ya'll about to find out.
"This is Boo Duke, and Cuke Duke, they're skirt chasing cousins that are closer than brothers."
"You know, the biggest thing on my mind today was to do a little shark-hunting. Maybe wrestle a few alligators, maybe catch a movie..." Cuke said.
"Yeah, and then the poodle runs off..." Boo replied.
"My car is stolen..."
"And now we're chasing the low-down sheriff's car. Aren't you glad we don't live in the big city were life gets complicated?"
"Sure, whatever." Cuke replied. "Try not to let him make it to the ends of the earth, okay?" said Cuke.
"It won't be much of a adrenaline fueled chase if we do." replied Boo.
"Stop talking to yourself Boo, and keep you're eyes on the road." Cuke replied.
"Wouldn't we make good cops Cuke?" Boo asked.
"Not with you at the wheel." Cuke sarcastically commented.
"If only Burt Reynolds could see us now..." Boo replied.
"Yeah, he would be ashamed of us." Cuke said.
"Oh, you're just jealous cause I got to be a stunt driver in Smokey and the Bandit and you didn't."
"Whatever you say, cousin." Cuke replied
Suddenly a skunk appeared in the road out of nowhere.
"Look out for that skunk!" Cuke shouted. Boo swerved barely avoiding the animal.
"Ha! In you're face cous!" Boo shouted.
"Look out for that senior citizen!" Cuke shouted once again.
Boo swerves yet again barely missing the citizen.
"Ha! In your face again cous!" shouted Boo.
"Look out for that oncoming traffic!" Cuke shouted, again.
Boo swerves again missing the traffic by an inch.
"This must be our lucky day." said Boo.
"Yeah, we're lucky we haven't been in a wreck yet." Cuke sarcastically said.
"Doesn't this guy ever get tired?" Cuke asked.
"This guy must have a few screws loose." Boo replied
The patrol car comes across an African American citizen checking his mailbox and, nearly misses him by an inch, the General Flee comes into view and hits the mailbox.
"Drunk drivers!" the citizen yelled.
The patrol car comes across a trench in the road and flips over.
"That was one heck of a wreck, eh cousin?" Boo asked.
"I've seen worse." Cuke replied.
The General Flee comes to a stop and Boo and Cuke exit the vehicle from the windows and begin walking towards the crashed vehicle.
"Yee haw! Santa Claus is coming to town!" someone inside the patrol car shouted.
"Looter Stillinport, you ain't got no common sense, do you know that?" Cuke asked.
"Looter Stillinport is the local mechanic, they call him Looter because he litters and they call him Stillinport because he never passes up a chance to steal any nearby automobile, shoot he's already hot-wired and stole the General Flee five times this week." the Balladeer explained.
"What's shaking Boo, what's up Cuke?" Looter said.
"Nothin' much, cept we've been chasing you for half an hour." Cuke replied.
"Oh." Looter replied.
"That reminds me, you borrowed my car this morning, what did you do with it?" asked Cuke.
"I ran it off a cliff and it exploded into a thousand pieces."
"What? Why did you do that, you dang moron?" Cuke angrily asked.
"I did it to distract the sheriff, and when he..."
"When he jumped out you jumped into his, but why did you steal the sheriff's car?" Bo replied.
"Well, he planted dynamite in mine, it seemed only fair to steal his ride."
"Looter, do you realize what it's gonna take to straighten this mess out?" Cuke asked.
"Breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" asked Looter.
"Never mind." replied Cuke.
Boo looks down and notices a slot machine sticking out of the backseat window of the car.
"Well hello, bandit." said Boo. "Well shut my mouth and call me Waylon Jennings, where do you think it came from?" asked Boo.
"Maybe it was taken in a raid?" Cuke replied
"But there ain't no slot machines in Hazzardous county." Boo said
"There's gonna be soon, he's bringing them in as we speak." Looter said.
"Who would that be?" asked Cuke
"Sheriff Rascal Flees." Looter said
"That's not good!" Boo and Cuke said at once
"Yep, that's definitely not good." the Balladeer replied.
End of Chapter 1