This began as a free-writing exercise, but developed into something...more. I decided to do a series of mostly unrelated chapters based on this question: Where are they [the "other" Sonic characters] now? After all, the past few main games feature Sonic—and only Sonic—as a playable character. In addition, they only use 2 or 3 side characters: Tails, Amy, and whatever annoying...thing with which DIMPs has decided to torment us. As a result, the others have quite a bit of downtime, as these chapters will show.

Note that I'll only feature the comparatively popular characters (sorry, Bark), and I won't take requests. The name is a reference to Buzz Aldrin's memoir Return to Earth, which detailed his depression after the moon landing in 1969. But I digress...

Read on...if you dare...

"You wanted to see me?" It was Rouge's first meeting with her potential employer. Needless to say, the bat-girl was sweating bullets. She had never done anything like this before—at least, not according to her resume...

"Ah yes, Miss Rouge. Please, have a seat." Rouge sat down quickly, happy to get off her feet for a while. "Shall we get to business? I have seen your resume; it is...interesting. I'm curious as to why you listed your previous occupations as 'jewel thief' and 'G.U.N. field agent'." her boss remarked. Rouge turned defensive, as she always would when accused.

"I try to play aboveboard when getting a new job. Honesty is one of the 10 major traits of highly successful people, after all," Rouge snapped. "And, of course, you've had your fair share of highly successful people. I want to join the club."

"Of course, Rouge, that's only fair. I'm still not sure why you would admit to two major crimes on a resume...but that's beside the point. Now, why did you apply for this position?" the interviewer asked.

Rouge decided to lay some business mumbo-jumbo on the interviewer to throw him off guard. "Both of my previous jobs were in the same basic field. I wanted to, um, diversify my skill set." The interviewer was not fazed.

"That's a common misconception. While it is nice to be versatile in your capabilities, it is better, from a business standpoint, to find the job you are best at and specialize in it. Shaquille O'Neal may be a decent cook, race-car driver, magician, etc—at least, that's what you'd think when you watch that show of his—but it's most profitable for him to remain a basketball player, no matter what the ABC executives say," the executive explained, chuckling at the latter part. "Why are you switching over from espionage?"

Rouge stood firm. "I'm a spy, but I'm also a woman; and I am sometimes discriminated against. I am, after all, in James Bond's line of work. Playing on the other side of the law isn't too easy either. But here, I know I'm safe."

The employer, much to Rouge's surprise, grabbed a file and opened it. "Did you think we would hire a known spy/jewel thief without doing a background check? Well, we have. Your history is interesting...to say the least." Rouge's eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the photographs.

"My god! Where did you get those?" The employer chuckled knowingly. "Well? Where did you get those photos?" Rouge quivered in apoplectic fury. It was as if she had been detected on a heist, like she had been compromised on a mission...

"It's amazing what you can find on the Internet...say, those guys look kind of familiar..." The interviewer's train of thought seemingly derailed.

Rouge desperately tried to rationalize her predicament. "Well, I mean, Knuckie's a nice guy, and Sonic's pretty cool, too, but..." She blushed as if she had been caught passing love letters in an elementary school; she was especially embarrassed by the use of the name "Knuckie". Worry about her apparent lack of professionalism filled her mind, and her nervousness grew to "virgin in a whorehouse" level.

The boss chuckled once more, much to Rouge's chagrin. "No, no, you misunderstand. This is exactly what we are looking for! Too many in our profession are new to the job, but you—you have previous experience! We're looking for people with knowledge in this field, and you've clearly got it. You're a natural. Hell, you're better than Mai Valentine!"

Rouge's fear and frustration turned to arrogance in the blink of an eye and her blush faded. "You're right I'm better than her! She's an artificial, air-headed tramp. I've got standards." Despite her angry, defensive tone (or, rather, because of it), she was more worried than ever about her unprofessional attitude.

"Whoa, whoa, I'd calm down if I were you. This is a job interview, remember?" the interviewer reminded. "Nonetheless, you do have a point. No, I think you're pretty well qualified for this job..."

Rouge's emotions settled back into 1st gear. "All right then...about the uniform..." She wanted to put the issue delicately, but couldn't think of a way to phrase her question correctly. She simply decided silence was golden.

The employer chuckled once more. "Oh, the uniform should be all right. Hell, you dress that way daily. Granted, your ears are pretty big, but that simply means you'll have to do without the headgear. I'm sure you can deal with that...right?"

The bat-girl decided she was satisfied. 99% of her questions were answered, but she had one last one for her new employer... "When should I call back?"

"Oh, don't worry, Miss Rouge. We'll call you. Don't you worry about it..."

"Thank you, Mr. Hefn-" The boss cut Rouge off mid-sentence.

"Please...call me Hef."