Okay, now I'm scared. I've become SO bored this week, I decided to start a new story… Unfortunately, it's a sequel to one I wrote back in June, when I first started posting in here. Well, okay, maybe it's not unfortunate, it depends on how you see it, but forget that…

This is the sequel to Swamp Tour Around the Pond, which you should know already unless to closed your eyes and clicked a random link.

I've sort of wanted to do another STAP for a long time… But I held off, 'cause I didn't know what to make it about. But then, I randomly combined a few different ideas, and ended up with a sequel-in-progress. Unlike the original, this will be longer and divided into chapters. Also unlike the first one, this story goes beyond just the pond… That rhymed…And if you're wondering what's up with the title, it's a play on 'Deus Ex Machina', and it'll start to make sense later on in the story.

This one takes place in my hometown, not too far from where I live now on the mountain. People there are extremely polite, and apparently like to talk to me when I'm on the library's computer… Anywho, there's a pond next to the library, and just beyond that is the old nursing home, which is right next to what is now the nursing home (getting confused yet?). Welcome to our setting.

Well, prepare yourselves, because like everything else I write, this is crazy. Plus it was devised out of extreme boredom.

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Swamp Tour Around the Pond 2: Frog in the Machine

By Burning Bridges

It was a beautiful day in the town 20 minutes away from the mountain. The traffic was medium, The Blue Ribbon (that's a restaurant) was packed as usual, and over at the vegetable stand, some people were having a tomato fight. But none of that really matters.

In the swampy part of the nearby lake, ten slime-covered tourists that had been scared nearly senseless, were slowly and unsteadily walking away from an algae-caked blue truck that had been driven by our three heroes.

"Uh… Thanks for going on the Umbrella Biohazard Countermeasure Service's Nature Tour… Come back again? … If you're not mentally scarred…" Carlos trailed off, watching them until they got to the road, and then turning to Mikhail. "Maybe we should quit doing these things…"

"If Nicholai enjoys these things as much as I think he does, forget about it. We'll be doing this forever…"

They both shuddered at the thought, just in time for Nicholai to come out of nowhere.

"I just found out there's a pond not far from here, right next to a library!" he said happily.

"… And?" Mikhail asked.

"Get the tourists back in the truck, because that's where we're going next," he replied with a smile as he went back over and got in the driver's side.

His two companions exchanged uneasy looks and jogged after the tourists that were now hiking down the road. When they caught up, the ten people didn't make an effort to stop.

"Sorry to bother you, but the tour's not quite over yet," Carlos said, and one of the tourists, a man in what seemed to have once been expensive leather now soaked through with swamp scum, gave him a dirty look.

"Leave us alone."

"Well, fine then. Be that way," Mikhail said, and all of a sudden the truck came careening out of the swamp and did a 360 before coming to a screeching halt in the middle of the road.

Nicholai got out, still smiling, and greeted the tourists cheerfully. "Hi again! Are you all ready to see some more nature?"

The tourists collectively shook their heads, some muttering about how much they never wanted to see the trio again, and others just muttering a lot of expletives.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," he said, apparently not bothered by it since he still seemed overly happy, "Except if you don't change your minds…"

He pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at Carlos' head.

"I'll blow his head off."

The tourists all gasped, and Carlos just gave Nicholai a funny look.

"Why me?"

"Because you're too nice."

"How can you be too nice?" Mikhail piped up.

"Okay, okay. I'll shoot something else… How about that tree?"

He randomly shot a tree, and to everyone's surprise a black bear fell out of it, landing head-first on the ground.

"I don't like the looks of this…" Carlos said as the bear got up.

It looked at them, and then growled loudly.

"So what? It's just a bear. Here, I'll shoot it - "

"Would you just quit with shooting stuff all the time?" Mikhail said, and Nicholai shook his head.

"Never."

"Um… Maybe we should leave…" Carlos said loudly, and they looked over to see the bear coming closer, bearing its teeth and drooling a monsoon all over the road.

"Okay, everyone in the truck," Nicholai said enthusiastically, and the tourists were in back of the truck in record time.

"Get going!" Carlos shouted at Nicholai who was now starting the truck.

"Hm… Should I put on the rap station or Lite FM?" he asked himself, turning the key in the ignition slowly.

"Can't it wait? That bear's going to kill someone," Mikhail said, getting in the passenger side.

"This is a really important decision. It can't just wait."

In the back of the truck, Carlos was making sure everyone was in the truck.

"Are we missing anyone? No? Great," he said, going to close the door, when the bear popped up and roared in his face, covering him in saliva.

"Nicholai!"

"Rock 'n Roll it is!" Nicholai said gleefully, hitting the gas without warning.

Carlos went head first into the bear, knocking it backwards as they began to speed down the highway, and he just barely managed to sit back up.

"Ouch… That bear's head was as hard as a rock…"

The blue truck drove along at 70mph, narrowly missing trees and other cars, occasionally hitting a traffic sign or two. They knew they were close when rolling green hills started to pass them faster than they could even make them out, and a red barn appeared down the road. Just beyond that barn…

A flock of geese, which Nicholai drove through.

But beyond that…

A pond!

The blue truck smashed into a medieval-style statue of a cougar jumping on a horse's back, knocking it onto its side, as the truck became airborne. The tourists screamed bloody murder, making the geese that were still in the water take off in a hurry as the truck landed with a huge splash, a wave half drowning everyone.

"Ahh," Nicholai said, getting out. "I never get tired of doing that."

He looked around, immediately focusing his attention towards a large building only yards off, which was practically all windows. It was positively lovely, but that wasn't what he was looking at. Instead he was looking at the building just before that.

It was very old, three floors all lined with windows and doors leading to a balcony on each of the upper two. Above the third floor, there appeared to be a roof space, also lined with windows. Huge patches of white paint had peeled from the building, leaving only grey concrete below.

"What is that white building?" he asked, staring at it.

"According to the map, that was a nursing home. Now the place behind it is the nursing home, I guess," Mikhail said, "Why?"

"It's beautiful," he replied, still staring at it.

"In what way? How plain it is, or how run down it looks?"

"That's where we're going."

"What?"

"We're going in there."

"But this is a nature tour."

"There could be nature in there," Nicholai said simply, walking to the back of the truck where a soaked Carlos was trying to kick the door back down. "What's wrong?"

"The pressure hasn't stabilized. I don't think it's going to open," he mumbled, kicking it repeatedly to no avail. The door wouldn't budge.

"There's only one solution to that problem," he said with a smile, "Shoot it!"

"That's you solution to every problem," Carlos said, and got a shrug in response.

"That's because it's fun."

Meanwhile…

In the library, totally unaware of what was going on just outside, Jill Valentine was checking her e-mail.

"Let's see… Chris. Chris. Chris. Africa?"

She opened a message, reading the first line before scoffing aloud, "It's one of those stupid scams again. I'll just enter 'Go Away'."

"Shh!" about five different librarians hissed from all corners of the room.

"Sorry," she replied, deciding to google random things.

All of a sudden, there was a strange, almost metallic-sounding ringing from a nearby room.

"Ooh, a rotary phone! I haven't seen one of those in ages!" the woman next to her said.

"Ro-ta-ry phone," Jill said to herself, typing it into the search bar. "Check it out, there's a picture right here."

"SHH!" the librarians whispered again, only louder.

Back outside…

They group of thirteen walked towards the old nursing home, twelve of them trying to forget Nicholai's failed attempt to open the door with a shotgun.

"Wow," Nicholai said with gusto, "You can feel the history dripping off of this place."

"All I can feel is freezing cold water dripping off of me," Mikhail replied, to which the tourists agreed with a collection of barely audible murmurs.

"Alrighty, let's head on inside."

"How do we get in?" Carlos asked, "The doors are more than likely locked."

Nicholai turned the doorknob and the door opened without a problem.

"… Or not."

They entered the first floor and began to look around, finding little more than white rooms populated by old medical equipment. The cracked tiles underfoot crunched as they walked, almost reminiscent of their treks through the forest brush.

"This place is creepy," Carlos said.

Mikhail nodded. "And kind of sinister."

"Nonsense," Nicholai replied with endless enthusiasm, "I think it's great!"

The tourists were quietly explaining that they wanted to leave when there was a loud creak from behind them, the room went silent and a door slammed shut. Our three heroes turned around, and were surprised to find…

The tourists had completely disappeared, leaving no traces that they had even been there.

"Uh… Where'd the tourists go?" Carlos asked nervously.

Mikhail went over to the door and turned the knob. "I think it's boarded up from the inside."

"Hello? Can anybody hear me?" Carlos shouted. No answer.

"Where could they go? There's nothing here," Mikhail said.

Both of them turned to look at Nicholai who'd been quiet this whole time. He smiled.

"Gentlemen, I think we have a haunting on our hands."

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I know, weird plot so far, but I kinda got thinking about the original "Thirteen Ghosts" and that gave me the idea to do a ghost story. And for the record, I've never seen the inside of the old nursing home, but I'd like to. Just have to pull a few strings here and there, or something…

I know Nicholai is uncharacteristically happy in this story – he was in the last one, too. It all started as sort of a bad joke, and then became his personality in these stories. Just think of it like he has a concussion or something. Or maybe he went crazy. That's up to you.

Well, that's it for this chapter. I'll be back soon with another, and if you're interested, I just posted a couple pictures of the old nursing home on my Deviant Art account (the link is on my profile page). In the meantime, leave me a review, and let me know how this went!