Love Will Tear Us Apart

(Why is this bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through our lives)

Author's Note: This is the deepest think I've ever written about Blood and Chocolate. And this is about the Movie Characters. Not the book. I do not own the storyline or characters. This is just a fanfiction.

Summary: What Astrid thought constantly of and her great demise.

I was in love with him. Terribly in love with him. Anytime I saw him. I would fawn. But, my sister, Esme would scorn.

"Why? He cares about himself. He cares….not enough."

How wrong she was. When she and Ivan took their children to the United States, no one told them anything. No one but him. Gabriel told them it was dangerous. That we, the loup-garoux, had no control over there. But my sister and her husband were determined. Determined to live and prevail with humans.

I remember the tears. The tears on poor, little Vivian's face. I remember the distaste. The distaste on my heroic Gabriel's face. At that point he and I were mates. At least for the time being. We had a beautiful son, Rafael. The day Gabriel made love to me, I was in heaven. I always remember when we reached ecstasy together. And then now we have a twenty year old son. He still calls me "Momma". Well, at least he did.

But the day Gabriel and I reached Colorado, the day I saw my poor niece bewildered. I knew he would start something. He would change things for the pack. For better or for worse? No one knew. We brought Vivian home with us. To Romania. Her birthplace. When the fire ravished her family from those meat-people. I finally had a person. A person, besides my darling son, Rafe. I treated her like a daughter. When she was nine or ten, she asked me to braid her hair. Her blond, gold hair. It felt so right. I felt like I had Rafe and Viv and Gabe. They were my family.

And then it happened. Gabriel announced it.

"Every seven years, the leader of the pack…"

That's all I remember of that conversation. I slapped him, scratched him, bite him. I even changed and hurled my she-wolf body at him. And he just took it. Stood there and took my screaming and fuming. When I changed back, naked and cold, I huddled to the corner. Crying. I remember he picked me up, raised me to my feet and held me. I was in shock. I thought real wolves mated forever. Why was he doing this? That night he made love to me one last time. Kissed me forever. But I didn't really think, didn't really respond. Just took it.

He kissed me one last time and I cried.

I cried for what seemed like an eternity. When Rafe was fourteen and understood what happened between me and his father, he despised his father. Hated Gabriel. Sure he respected him. Took what Gabriel said to him like a man. But I knew deep down, I knew my baby boy was hurting. Crying on the inside. When Vivian was fifteen, Rafe one year older, she came to me. Told me that he had been crying in his room for hours and wouldn't come out. I sighed. I didn't know what to do.

Rafael moved out of the house when he was seventeen. Said he couldn't be so close. He reminded me of a pup moving out of the den. I let him, I knew he would come and see me and Vivian. He moved in with Ulf. And the two of them and the rest of the Five would come and visit every day for three hours. They would stay the whole day on weekends. But soon once they all turned seventeen, it wasn't so much. They still did. But not as much. But I was happy with that.

The Five. The Five trouble-makers of the pack. Rafe, Ulf, Greg, Willem, and Finn. The Five of them made a team. They were the ones that led the pack through runs when they were younger. They said, "We're dominant. We can do it." Most of the time they would stumble through the branches of the forest. They were like my sons. Hell, one of them was my son.

Promptly after shifting, Gabriel would put them in their place. Knock them down a status. To retaliate, all Five of them would run past Beatrice. Knocking her down, making her stumble through the foliage.

Beatrice was Gabriel's new wife. New mate. Oh, how I hate that bitch. With her smirks and side glances at me. Making sure I saw that she was kissing Gabriel, they were holding hands. I silently cried to myself. But Rafe saw, Vivian saw.

She didn't love him. She only wanted the status. I loved him. I didn't want the status. I just yearned to be by his side. Running through the forest with him, that's what I loved.

Vivian loves to run. I never see her not do that. She always goes in the morning comes back around noon. Goes to work. Comes home. We have lunch. We go out and meet at Gabriel's club. Go home. Eat dinner. Go to bed. That was her schedule. Until she met the meat-boy.

Now when Rafe and Greg came to me and told me what she was doing. I didn't believe them. I thought they were kidding, trying to get her in trouble with Gabriel. But no. They were telling the truth. I laughed and pondered. Why would she be with a meat-person? The same species that killed her family. Our family.

But when I stood. The gun in my hand. I saw the love in her eyes when she gazed at him. The same warmth that I felt, that I feel for Gabriel. As I saw her stand infront of her mate. He moved. Directing himself in the line of fire. Making sure, if I shot, I didn't shoot Vivian. I recognized that look. The look Gabriel gave me an eternity ago. Love.

I put down the gun. Letting them pass. They are the future. Everyone's lives are in their hands.

I lost my son, my husband, my niece, my sister. My time had ended. It was time for new lovers to take flight. For the new time. She has fulfilled the prophecy. I, Astrid de Gandillon, have chosen a new life. A new life without Gabriel, but with my son, Rafael.

Astrid took of her French knit hat. Ruffling up her blond short curls. Her crystal blue eyes glittering with tears. She rubbed them away with the sleeve of her jacket. She inhaled deeply. Breathing in the silver hanging in the air. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

She cocked the gun. Running her fingers over the gleaming metal. Tears flowed freely down her pale cheeks. She took in a ragged breath. Sobbing, she slowly moved the gun to her mouth. Placing the sleek muzzle in her mouth and tilting it up towards her brain.

The brain that kept saying, "Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel."

Astrid breathed in deeply again. Her life flashed before her eyes. Her first change; as she ran her long golden curls flowing freely, Arms outstretched as she ran, jumped of a rock, built into the dirt, Her eyes turning golden amber, As the light of the full moon wavered around her, Shining her with light, As her paws reached dirt, She became a wolf. A beautiful, gorgeous Loup-Garoux. Her running through the forest with her sister. Meeting Gabriel. Running through the green trees with Gabriel as wolves. The first time they made love. Her child birth. Rafe being born. Eyes like Gabriel, Hair like his mother. Holding Vivian in her arms, as the cried together for their lost Esme. That was Astrid's life, as she remembered.

She tried to smile with the gun in her mouth. But it didn't work.

"Astrid! Stop. Gabriel has called most of us to the Club." She heard Ulf's voice.

Ulf saw Astrid. Astrid saw Ulf. His face contorted in a look of trepidation. Fear. So thick you could smell it.

"Tell Gabriel. I love him." Astrid mumbled out.

Ulf closed his eyes. He swallowed. She swallowed. The shot rang out through the whole compound.

He opened his eyes.

There laid Astrid. Gun shot wound through the back of her head. Blood seeping onto the floor. Gold curls plastered to her skull. Blue eyes wide with shock.

Deep down, Ulf knew. Ulf knew Astrid would always love Esme, Vivian, Rafael, and Gabriel.