Title: Home for Christmas
Category: X-Men: the Movie (post Last Stand with some reference to First Class)
Rating: K+
Characters: Mystique and Nightcrawler
Summary: After getting a shot of the cure, Mystique returns to the mansion on Christmas Eve. As she visit's Charles Xavier's grave, she meets again with the son she parted away from long ago.
Disclaimer: Characters featured in this story are copyright to Marvel Comics and 20th Century Fox.
Author's Note: I wanted to write a Christmas themed story that could tie in First Class with the other movies along with Mystique's relationship with Xavier and Kurt Wagner. Kurt's accent might be a bit off since I've never written accents before. I recall in X-2 that Mystique didn't make much eye-contact with Kurt, there have been some fan fiction that explained why, but I do have my own explanation in this story.
It was Christmas Eve when she walked through the gates of Xavier's estate. She walked along the frost covered path to the vast mansion, the windows were aglow from the indoor light in the winter evening. Through the window, she saw students and some of the X-Men gathered near the vast fireplace and Christmas tree in the lounge. The memory of her first Christmas in the mansion came to her, it had been the best Christmas she experienced. She felt heavy-hearted, the mansion might have been her home before, but she could not belong with the people gathered inside after all the things she had done.
Raven Darkholme, previously codenamed Mystique before she took a shot of the "cure", backed away from the window and continued to walk the frosted grounds. Ever since losing her mutation to protect her leader and close friend, Magneto, Raven felt lost and emotionally crushed after Magneto left her lying naked and trembling in the transporter. When she agreed to cooperate with the human authorities, Raven got her freedom and revenge on Magneto for ditching her.
The snowflakes began to drift down from the dark grey clouds above, Raven wrapped her coat tighter to keep out the chill. After so many years of wearing only her skin, she found it strange needing to be wrapped up in layers to protect herself from the elements. Now that she was no longer friends with the man who had given her reason to like her physical mutation the way it was, Raven could only make her way back to the home of the man who gave her a sense of security.
Yet that man was no longer there, Raven had to remind herself as she headed towards her destination. Charles Xavier had been a friend, mentor, and a brother to her, he gave her a home, protection, and family. Even after they parted ways that fateful day on the beach in Cuba, Charles probably would still welcome her back at the mansion if she ever decided to return. Returning was strange though, she had done too many terrible things that even Charles should not forgive her for. Considering that Charles was dead, killed in a telepathic battle, Raven felt that his absence made the mansion even more strange.
The monument for Charles Xavier was deserted, Raven found herself staring at the grave marker alone. Reading the engraving and staring at the relief carving of Xavier's profile, that heavy feeling sank deeper in. She had hurt him both physically and emotionally, abandoning him as he lay injured on the beach and sabotaging CEREBRO, Raven didn't deserve forgiveness. Now that Charles was gone, Raven would never find out if he would forgive her or not.
So deep in her thoughts, Raven jumped with a small cry as a cloud of blue and black smoke burst out beside her. Standing a few feet from her, clad in a long trench coat, was an all too familiar mutant. Deep blue skin, textured with raised tattoos, illuminating yellow eyes, dark hair, pointed ears, fangs and tail, Raven had seen the mutant before, it was Kurt Wagner.
"Entschuldigung," said Kurt in German to her, then continued in accented English, "I did not know zat you vere ztanding zere."
"It's alright," said Raven, "I was just paying my respects to Charles Xavier."
"Are you a friend of hiz?" Kurt was holding his rosary on a beaded string, fidgeting with it in his three digit hand.
"I was a long time ago," Raven said quietly. "The name's Raven Darkholme." She decided to just use her bland normal name to introduce herself, since Kurt only knew her codename. "Did you also come to pay respects to the Professor?"
"Ja," Kurt brought the rosary to his chest. "I am Kurt Vagner, also called Nightcrawler. Ze Professor vas kind to me vhen I met him, that I vould be velcome to hiz home at anytime. I told him zat I did not know my real parents and he zaid zat he vould accept me into hiz family. I appreciated hiz offer."
Some chill not related to the weather ran up Raven's spine. Did Charles figure out Kurt's parentage? Was it possible that Charles saw the resemblance between Kurt's physical mutation and her own when she was a mutant? It was impossible to think that Charles would never figure out the relationship between her and Kurt, Raven knew that Charles Xavier was intelligent and could not be easily fooled with or without telepathy.
"May I ask why he wanted to accept you into his family?" asked Raven.
"He zaid zat I reminded him of zomeone he knew, a very close friend he had."
"Did he mention that friend's name?" Raven could not help but dread if Kurt had been told about her. Kurt did somewhat remind her of herself, not just the colours of his skin and eyes, but he was much like herself back when she had lived with Charles Xavier.
"Nein," Kurt replied shaking his head. "Just said zat his friend had been family to him."
Raven remembered meeting Kurt at Alkali Lake, but she had remembered him years before that incident at the Lake, which was why she could not maintain eye contact with him when he began asking her questions during that meeting in the forest. The blue skin and yellow eyes were her gifts to him, the tail, ears, fangs and ability to teleport were gifts from Azazel. It was hard to stare at Kurt without thinking about her previous lover, Azazel had taught her how to fight in close combat, he was mysterious, brutal in combat, and passionate, which she found attractive. Neither she or Azazel intended to produce a child, but when Raven discovered her pregnancy, Azazel insisted on taking responsibility for the child. Since the Brotherhood members had dangerous and unpredictable life styles, Azazel had decided to take the infant to a safe place and Raven never saw either Azazel or Kurt again. Until that meeting in the forest, Raven had seen for herself that Kurt was alive and grown up, but Azazel's fate was unknown.
Staring at Kurt now, Raven saw the sort of person she had been before the Brotherhood, kind, gentle, and a little naive. Did he have any personality trait from Azazel? It was difficult to tell since Azazel hardly spoke or expressed himself except while making love. It made sense to Raven that Charles identified things in Kurt that were much like herself. Perhaps Charles did figure out that Kurt was Raven's child, but did not tell Kurt of the relationship.
"Kurt," said Raven, "I have mentioned that I was a friend of the Professor's a long time ago, it was possible that the friend he spoke to you about was me."
Kurt did not say anything, but tilted his head and studied her a bit. It made her think of the way Azazel used to stare at her if she said or did something odd while training.
"Did I remind ze Professor of you?" was the question that Kurt asked.
"It sounds silly," said Raven, combing her snow flecked black hair that used to be fire red with her fingers. "I see that you do remind me of myself back when I was younger. I admit that I don't look that old, but I've had many years of hardship. Charles was probably the first friend I had known, but things became different between us and I stopped speaking to him." She broke her gaze from Kurt and stared at the stone monument, recalling those memories.
"He probably missed you," Kurt said softly. "Vhen he zpoke of you, he zounded regretful, as if he realized how much you must haf meant to him."
"I guess I never considered that. Ever since I stopped speaking to him, I felt that he would never forgive me or that I could never forgive him for the drift between us. Now that he's gone, I don't think that I'll ever know if any forgiveness will happen."
"He might forgive you, he might be vatching over you right now." Kurt gently rotated his rosary with his huge fingers. "It iz ze time of year to forgive each other for mistakes made."
Raven thought about Kurt's words, it was Christmas Eve, she had come to the mansion, and she stood at Xavier's monument. Perhaps it was time that she stopped hiding and make her peace with the brother she had left injured on the beach, even if he was gone.
"You're right, I've been running away for too long. It's time to make amends." Raven knelt on the snow covered grass before the stone monument, staring at the carving of Charles Xavier's profile. So many things that she wanted to say, but it wasn't easy to find the right words.
"Charles," she said to the monument, "if you are watching over me, I just want you to know that I've changed a lot since we parted ways. I sometimes wonder why you and I stopped understanding each other. I told you that you thought it was just you and me against the world, but that you just wanted to be part of it, no matter how bad it was. You chased your impossible vision for mutant kind while I had to take more drastic matters to make a point." Raven wanted to tell Charles about her pregnancy and that she had to give up the infant for the better, but it wasn't appropriate since the infant she gave up was an adult and standing behind her.
"You must have regretted letting me leave, but I wanted to make my own choices and decide what was best for myself." Raven bit her lip as she concentrated on her next choice of words. "I suppose that you always felt protective of me, but I felt that you never really understood me. You might have looked out for me but I wasn't as fortunate as you, you never had to hide while I had to wear another face to survive. Yet you showed me that we weren't the only mutants in the world and you gave me a home, I guess I should be grateful. Maybe you could forgive me for leaving you, and if I tried, I could forgive you for not fully understanding me."
Raven stood up and glanced at Kurt, he was whispering prayers in German and his eyes were closed. When he was done praying, he opened his luminous eyes and smiled at her while showing the pearl white fangs that she had found attractive about Azazel.
"I prayed that God vould lend you ze strength to forgive ze Professor and yourself," said Kurt.
"I don't really need prayers," said Raven, "I highly doubt that God would lend me strength after all of the mistakes I've made."
"God forgives all people for zeir mistakes, you should not doubt him."
"You're too generous." Raven shook her head at Kurt's capability to forgive and his faith. She had never been seriously religious, even though she and Charles did attend church as children. She had to consider if Kurt would forgive her if she told him the truth about his father and herself.
"Do you vish to go inside?" asked Kurt. "It is late and cold."
"I don't know if I should," said Raven, looking at the mansion windows, "I'm a complete stranger to everyone here." More likely a former enemy, she thought.
"You vere a friend of ze Professor, the X-Men vill understand."
"Well…" Raven paused, considering if she should stay outside and probably freeze to death, or go inside and risk discovery by the X-Men. There was Kurt to consider, he was being too generous, it would probably offend him if she turned him down. Raven had already gave up Kurt, which was not easy for her to do, and she couldn't just reject him so bluntly.
"Perhaps I could stay for a while," she finally said, "I don't want to impose."
"You von't be imposing," said Kurt as he held out his hand to her. Mystique realized he was offering to teleport her inside, the gesture was just like Azazel's whenever he had to teleport her on their missions.
Raven recalled that meeting Kurt in the forest at Alkali Lake was shocking since his appearance reminded her of Azazel. Now that she was going to take Kurt's hand to teleport, his appearance wasn't so shocking anymore, it made her realize that she did miss the red-skinned, alluring and mysterious Azazel. There were other people in her life she missed, the Professor, her friends in the X-Men's early days, her few friends in the Brotherhood, and even Magneto.
As she summoned up her courage, she clasped Kurt's hand. When Kurt teleported them indoors, Raven decided that she could start again and eventually plan a way to tell Kurt the truth. For the present, Raven decided to just settle back into the only safe home she had known for the holidays.
The End.