Disclaimer: I own only the concept. The rest belongs to Disney.
A/N: If fics involving suicide attempts bother you now is the time to click the back button on your browser. For everyone else, this takes place a few years pre-DT and focuses on Anton, Elsa and Smitty (pre-Mesogog and Zeltrax). Elsa/Mercer fans (and others alike), I hope you enjoy. Phew! On with the fic…
"They were right when they called me a fool," Anton told himself as he stood in the dark hotel room.
He and his team of explorers had been on another expedition, this time in South America. But nothing had gone as planned, things seemingly getting worse by the day. Their investors had pulled their funding, some members of his team already having left in disgust.
They hadn't said they were disgusted with him or his experiments, but he could see it in their eyes. They all judged him and blamed him for all that had gone wrong.
The Fernandezes had left first, wanting to get back to their son Trent. Tommy Oliver had followed, having said something about having kept his fiancée Kimberly waiting long enough. Only Elsa and Smitty remained. True they were his closest friends, but there was something deep in him that hated seeing them together.
He scoffed at the image his mind had of him being with Elsa instead. "Let him have her. She'd be better off with him anyway. You've got nothing to offer her but failure after failure," he told himself as he looked to the plans that now laid crumpled in a large ball by the wastebasket.
Just a second later he heard a knock at his hotel room door that was loud enough to make him jump. More people coming to tell me how my research will never be granted funding, no doubt," he thought to himself as he walked to the door.
"Anton, it's Smitty. Elsa and I are ready to go to dinner. How about you?"
The tall, lean blonde opened the door only slightly. "Just go, I'm not hungry," he told the slim, dark haired man. He had noticed he was in jeans and an un-tucked white button down, not a typical outfit for his friend when he was going on a date, but the idea of having to see him with Elsa again today still stung. The last thing he needed was to feel like a third wheel right now.
"You feeling okay?" he asked his friend who was still dressed in the same khakis and gray long-sleeved shirt he had been wearing earlier.
"Just tired," he lied. "But I need you to promise me something."
"You got it."
"Take care of yourself and Elsa," was his only reply before he closed the door in his confused friend's face.
"Okay, well we'll see you later then," Smitty called through the door before he made his way to Elsa's room to let her know Anton wouldn't be joining them tonight.
"Where's Anton?" Elsa asked as Smitty returned to her hotel room just as she was pulling her long dark hair back into a ponytail.
"He said he's tired. Ready?" She looked it, but he could never be sure with her. Black looked amazing on her, those form-fitting pants, her well fitting top, more than enough to make his heart race.
She was disappointed, but still she answered, "Sure."
They rode together in his rental car, Elsa knowing he was trying to make conversation, but as her thoughts kept drifting to how hurt Anton had been for the past several days it was difficult for her to keep up. The most she could make out was how Smitty was certain Anton would choose to give him a promotion over Tommy.
Not that Tommy hadn't earned it, Smitty simply felt that since he had known Anton longer he would get it based on seniority despite how he had been slacking off recently.
"I've missed this," Smitty stated as they sat down at a table towards the back of the crowded, dimly-lit restaurant ten minutes later.
"Missed what?"
"Just sitting down to dinner with you, getting to talk with you like this," he answered with a soft smile.
"Do you think this is a date? Did you ask Anton to stay at the hotel so we could be alone like this?" It didn't seem like Smitty, she had to admit, but it was all she could think.
"No," he answered quickly. "I just mean that it's nice to finally get to be with you like this again. I don't think we've had a night out like this in months."
She sighed. "Have you thought of why?"
"You don't like spending time with me anymore?" he asked, pained by the notion.
"I'm not attracted to you, Smitty and I'm not in love with you."
"Because of Mercer," he sighed as he looked away from her. He knew they were close friends, but he couldn't understand what Anton had that he didn't to earn Elsa's affection like this.
She nodded. "Despite what others say about him, I love him. Anyone who sees us together knows it. Even you must."
Smitty hated that she was right. He had tried to deny it again and again to himself, but he never saw either of them smile like they did when they were together. Even if they were doing nothing more than standing or sitting beside one another.
Though the only person who didn't know how Elsa felt it seemed was Anton himself. True they had never dated, but they had known each other for a few years now.
She had been assigned to work with him during her first expedition and from there they grew closer. Though still no closer than friends. A truth both were saddened by.
But it was Anton who was now feeling that sadness gripping him tightly in its hold. This time refusing to let him go.
Looking to himself in the bathroom mirror, he was talking to himself again. "She could never want you. Not even the rest of your team wants to know you. How can you even pretend to blame them for it? You weren't prepared, people got hurt. She deserves better. They all do and you know it."
"How could so much time have gone by and he not know?" Smitty asked Elsa.
"Maybe he doesn't want to know," she answered with a shrug. "Or maybe he just doesn't feel the same and doesn't want to hurt me with that truth. Why else would he have stayed at the hotel tonight instead of being out with us?"
"Maybe he didn't want me to feel invisible," he replied. "Never mind I feel invisible anyway," he added under his breath.
"I'm sorry, Smitty. But isn't it better that I'm telling you the truth?"
"I'd prefer it if your truth was that you cared for me like you do for him."
Elsa hated that she was hurting her friend, but deep down she knew it was only right not to lead him on.
"Just wish I could've kept the promise I made to Mercer tonight," he commented.
"What promise?"
"He had me promise that I'd take care of myself and of you," he answered, finally letting his eyes meet hers again. "I hardly feel like I've done my job like this. Knowing I've hurt us both now."
Only Elsa didn't catch the last part of what her friend had said. She was still hearing the promise Smitty had felt he had broken. Her blood was like ice in her veins as she heard those words repeat in her mind again and again.
She had only heard one other person use that phrase. Their previous employer just a matter of years before had said that same phrase to Anton. Just hours before he died.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Elsa managed to sternly say, "We need to get back to the hotel."
"Elsa, what's wrong?" he asked as he saw the tears forming in her dark eyes.
"We just - we have to get to Anton," she stated as she shakily stood, bumping into another table as she made her way towards the door.
"Time to call a cab," a young woman stated with a laugh as she watched Elsa continue towards the door, her hot tears blurring her vision and causing her to have to grip the back of chairs to keep herself from falling.
Overpaying slightly for their meal, Smitty put the currency under a glass and quickly followed Elsa back to his rental car. "Will you slow down?"
"No," she told him firmly. "Now get us back to the hotel as fast as you can."
"Why?" But it was no use as Elsa remained quiet, her eyes straight ahead.
"Elsa!" Smitty called to her as she soon took off running into the hotel as fast as she could. It only scared him more as she had opened her car door before the car had even come to a complete stop.
But the athletic woman continued running as quickly as she could, trying to fight the sick feeling in her stomach as she hit the 'up' arrow for the elevator again and again until the cabin appeared.
"What's going on with you?" Smitty demanded as he quickly darted into the cabin with her, watching as she grew more panicked by the second.
"Is that exactly what Anton had you promise? To take care of me?" she asked him, still battling her emotions. Her fear, her sadness, her panic, it was all boiling over as the cabin continued its upwards journey.
"And myself, yes. I'd never lie to you, Elsa. Or take his words out of context with you knowing how he likes to correct me."
As the elevator stopped and the doors parted, Elsa only replied, "Pray he can still correct you," before tearing off towards his hotel room door, pounding on it.
"Elsa!" Smitty called, panic now settling within him as he darted after her.
"Anton! Anton! Please answer! It's me. It's Elsa. Please, Anton," she cried outside the door while she continued to bruise her knuckles by pounding on the door. "Anton! PLEASE!"
There was no sound on the other side, no footsteps, simply nothing. Despite the supposed calmness within her friend's room, she had never been more terrified.
Hearing Elsa carry on like this was too much for Smitty. Within seconds he was in search of someone who could unlock their partner's door, desperate to help Elsa.
He didn't know what she did or why those words were so important. But he knew he had never seen her like this and now she was scaring him.
"You say you're locked out of your room with your son inside?" the hotel manager asked Smitty. It was all Smitty could think of. They needed to get into Anton's room and simply explaining Elsa's fear wouldn't have been enough.
"Yeah," he lied again.
"Excuse me, miss," the manager stated to Elsa.
Not waiting for her to move herself, knowing she wouldn't, Smitty took her slender shoulders into his strong hands and pulled her away from the door.
"Smitty, let me go," she begged. "I have to - He can't -"
"He whom can't what?" the tall, slim man asked.
"Anton can't -"
"There you are," the plump, shorter man said as he opened the door.
With a burst of strength, Elsa broke free from Smitty's grip and charged into the room, her eyes darting all around.
Smitty thanked the manager and ran in after her, heading into the bathroom while Elsa ran to the balcony.
"Anton!" Elsa cried as she looked downwards, looking from side to side on the ground next. It was dark and this balcony was on the third floor. It was hard to see, but she refused to give up.
"Oh God no!" Smitty cried out when he saw their friend on the bathroom floor, blood still pooling onto the white tile floor from the deep gashes in his wrists.
Recognizing his terrified tone, Elsa quickly turned and ran towards the bathroom. "No!" she cried when she saw him.
"Call for an ambulance, Elsa, he's still alive," Smitty told her quickly.
Shaking violently, Elsa did as she was told while she watched Smitty take two hand towels and turn them into tourniquets for their friend.
"You son of a bitch," Smitty muttered as he saw the long, deep slashes. Anton had known what he was doing, he had meant to be successful and if he and Elsa had gotten there even minutes later he might have been. Though Smitty couldn't deny there was still a chance they had been too late.
"They're on their way," Elsa told him as she hung up the phone.
"How did you know?" Smitty asked as he tightened the tourniquets.
"An employer of ours - he'd said that to him, just before he died," she sobbed as she looked to Anton again. No part of her could believe that was truly him there on the floor, that blood having been flowing through his veins just minutes before.
"Said what? To take care of himself and you?"
Elsa nodded.
A strong knock at the hotel room door jarred them both from their troubled thoughts a second later.
"That has to be the medics," Smitty said as he stood. "I'll go."
Elsa fell to her knees beside Anton as soon as Smitty passed her on his way back to the door. "Please don't leave me, Anton," she quietly begged as she ran a hand down the side of his pale, handsome face.
"Someone here called in an attempted suicide?" a tall, muscular paramedic asked Smitty.
That question brought more tears to sting Elsa's eyes. She couldn't believe Anton would do this. Part of her wanted to believe it was an accident or an attack. But all the proof anyone needed to the contrary was right there in front of her. His knife, that phrase, how withdrawn he had been. She didn't want to admit it, but it all stood to reason.
"Excuse me, miss," another muscular paramedic told her.
"Elsa, come over here," Smitty stated softly.
"I can't leave him."
"Are you his wife?" the first medic asked.
"His friend," she corrected as she wiped away another fallen tear.
"And you?" the other medic asked as he turned to Smitty.
"Friend. We all work together."
The medic nodded as they continued to work to stop the bleeding.
Hours seemed to pass as Elsa waited outside of Anton's hospital room. She and Smitty had been told that it was still too soon to say if he would live and to say Elsa was a wreck was putting it lightly.
For nearly an hour now Smitty had held her in his arms as she cried and sobbed. Memories were playing continuously and she couldn't take the thought of those being all she would have left of Anton.
One was of another expedition, during which she had been trapped in a cave-in. Anton had been the first person she had seen when she emerged. He had also been the one to save her, though he'd let someone else take the credit. When she was finally out and mostly alright aside from some scrapes and bruises he had hugged her as tightly as he could in relief.
Elsa almost smiled then at the irony as she remembered he had told her, "Don't ever scare me that way again."
The next image in her mind came from any time she was sick in bed, though it was rare she ever fell ill, her home often looked like the interior of a florist shop. Every card reading, 'Get well soon' in another language from the countries they had visited together.
"He's gonna make it," Smitty told her as he held her a little tighter.
"Don't lie to me," she growled.
"Mr. Smitt?" the doctor asked as he appeared once again.
"Yes?" he asked as he looked up at him.
"I need to speak to you for a moment."
"Go," Elsa told him, feeling she needed some time to herself.
Slowly releasing the slim brunette from his hold, Smitty stood and stepped away to speak with the doctor in private.
"I need whatever you're about to tell me to be good news," Smitty told the doctor.
"Your friend has lost a lot of blood. Honestly if you had gotten to him just another matter of minutes later I doubt we would be having this conversation now."
"Look, there's a woman over there who's gonna die without him and I'd die without her, so are you going to keep talking in riddles or can I get a real answer?"
"It's still too soon to tell," the doctor sighed.
Meanwhile Elsa had slowly stepped into Anton's room, unable to truly take the sight of him so weak. Shakily she took a seat in the chair beside his bed, nearly moving to reach for his right hand, but stopped when she saw the bandage around his wrist. Another reminder of the sight she knew she would never forget.
"Why did you do this?" she asked him softly. She didn't care that he wouldn't answer her then, she knew there was a chance he could hear her and that was all that mattered to her then. Him knowing that she was there for him just as he had always been there for her.
"So what are we looking at?" Smitty asked the doctor out in the hall, still not realizing Elsa had left her seat.
"For right now we have to wait and see how he responds to the treatments. We're doing everything we can, you can be assured of that."
"None of this is your fault," Elsa continued to Anton. "You just can't leave us now. If you do there'll be no one to yell at Smitty when he ruins one of your experiments. Not to mention if you leave me now, I won't have a date for Tommy's wedding next month. You can't leave me like this, Anton. You just can't."
She was crying now, unable to hold her tears back any longer. She hadn't even noticed that neither the doctor nor Smitty had come to look for her or tell her to leave.
"What if your best isn't good enough? What then? I get to pretend I can console this woman while she buries the love of her life? I can't do that," Smitty told him, only growing angrier that there was nothing he could do. It also pained him more than he cared to admit even to himself that he had referred to Anton that way, but he knew it was true.
"Mr. Smitt, we have a number of highly qualified counselors here if you or your friend would like to speak to one," the older man stated.
"Right now I just want to talk to Mercer. Tell him that Elsa needs him and that's gotta survive this. Other than that I don't feel like talking to anyone."
"You're a brilliant scientist and amazing man," Elsa continued to her sleeping co-worker, fighting to regain her composure. "It's knowing that I'll see you every day that keeps me on these expeditions. You're why I never even consider leaving no matter what. I can't handle losing you. I love you, Anton."
By now the slim brunette had his right hand in her left, holding it snugly, needing to feel his warmth.
She didn't know what else to say after that. She couldn't even be sure if he had heard her. But soon she felt his hand slightly gripping hers in return.
"Anton?!" she cried in a surprised whisper.
"Mmm. Did someone call me brilliant?" he managed to ask with a soft smile as his blue eyes met her dark orbs.
Part of Elsa was overjoyed, wanting to kiss him and hug him and never let him go again. But too much more of her was too overwhelmed to move. "I did," she finally managed to answer, unable to believe he was really speaking to her.
"Then it must be true," he told her, his smile broadening slightly.
"I should get the doctor," she told him. But he wasn't letting go of her. Granted he didn't have much strength, what little of it he did have seemed to be enough.
"Wait, Elsa." He was still slightly sore, the medication beginning to wear off, and very tired, but he knew this couldn't wait.
"Why? Someone should -"
"I love you, too."
Once again the black-clad woman was shocked. It had to be the medication talking, it couldn't really be him. What could he want with her? "What?"
"I heard what you said. I love you, Elsa. That's part of why I tried to -" He words cut off there, but she knew what he meant.
"I don't understand. You tried to do that because you love me?"
"Because I thought you would choose Smitty because he could offer you more than I can and because of what happened with the investors and the most recent expedition. In addition to that Antonio and Rosa have each other, Tommy and his fiancée are getting married in a month. I just couldn't see what I had to keep me here. Not until now."
Elsa was crying again. Part of her hated how they had come to admit their true feelings to one another, but still both were thankful that the words had finally been said.
"Thank you for being the one to bring me back," the lean blonde haired man stated next. "And for being the first person I saw when I woke up."
She smiled, soon leaning in to kiss him softly. They both wanted more, but it was obvious he was still too weak for it just then. "You're welcome." It was all she could think to say when they parted seconds later, still feeling light-headed from her relief and pleasant surprise.
"I have an idea," he told her as he shifted slightly in the hospital bed, trying to get more comfortable. "Of where we should go next."
"Where?" She couldn't know when the doctors would say he could leave. But she knew at this rate it could be sooner rather than later for which she was thankful as she desperately wanted to forget the worst parts of this night.
"The one place I feel I can call home. It's back in the states though so it means one more move. To California, specifically. Reefside."
Again she smiled. For so long she had heard him talk about Reefside and now he was inviting her to join him for his return to it.
"Honestly, it could be months or even a year or two before we can really get there, but when we do, I know I'd like you to be with me for it."
"Of course," she sighed with another relieved smile.
He was speaking of the future then, despite what he had tried to do that night. That alone was enough to give Elsa the comfort she had needed.
Anton knew any man could tell the woman he loved that he would die for her. But for him, he knew the best way for him to prove his love to Elsa was to go on, to live, to continue on no matter what life threw at him next.
Neither knew what the future would hold for them just then, but both knew that with each other by their side they could and would make it through even the darkest of days and nights.