Ever After
A Tate and Violet FanFic
No matter how many things people said I did wrong, loving Violet could never be bad. Loving Violet was the most human I've felt in forever. Even when I was alive I couldn't feel that warmth. I couldn't feel that love when I was alive.
I'm sitting by the window. My hands feel cold. With Violet, I never felt cold. Hayden left me alone hours ago up here in the attic. I've been sitting here for what feels like days; maybe years. I watch Violet. I watch Ben and Vivien too sometimes. They look happy; I know they're happy, I'm not around anymore. I'm restless. I can't dream anymore. My mind is so lost nowadays. It may have been lost when I was with Violet but these days I just sit in darkness. My beacon is gone and it's never coming back.
I hope Violet isn't sad. I hope that when I see her smile, it's a genuine smile; not fake. It kills me when I see her fake that smile. I saw her yesterday. I waited outside her window last night and just watched her. She was in her room with Vivien and Jeffrey that evening. They looked happy and I wished that I could be there with her, making her happy.
I'm a pathetic piece of shit, but I will wait forever if I have to.
Years are going by now; everything stays the same. The house has been sold every once in a while, but the Harmon's always scare the new families away. I know why they do; they know what this fucked up shit hole can do to those bastards.
Jeffery is still small. Sometimes I find myself looking over Vivien in the nursery. I see such a warm smile on her face and sometimes when Vivien turns away I take a glance at that little bugger and smile. I hate smiling. It's difficult to smile. I hate to laugh too.
Violet laughs. Violet loves to laugh. Even with all this pain and horror lingering in these corridors she finds a way to laugh. She still listens to music. Last year a girl came into the house and had the same likes in music that Violet did. The two got along until that family moved away.
I fought the urge to kill that girl. I imagined tugging on that girl's silky soft brown hair and slitting her throat; killing her, for Violet. But I didn't. I'm trying to let Violet forgive me. I can't kill the house's visitors.
When the house becomes quiet, I look for Ben. We talk. We don't talk about the past; it's too difficult for me; for both of us, really. Instead we talk about random shit that's happening to the living. The economy is never a good topic but we cover that sometimes. Sometimes Ben talks about Violet and Vivien. Ben likes to talk about Jeffery too. He thinks about what it would be like if Jeffery could grow up. I say to him that he would be just like his father.
On Halloween last year I went for my usual talk with Ben that afternoon, but then I visited the school. I roamed the hallways searching for those kids. Every year I come to the school and look, and every year I find jack shit. They're never coming back and I'll never be at their mercy. In some fucked up sense, I want to be saved. Grieving for Violet and feeling all sunken and hurt every moment of your existence makes you want to be saved. I really do. I hope that once I'm forgiven, Violet will come back to me.
I want to taste her again. I feel like it's been decades since I last kissed her; and it probably has. Time isn't kept well between these walls.
Hayden drags in her sleazy fucks every few months, just to keep her afterlife interesting. I catch her watching Michael next door sometimes.
Michael is almost a carbon copy of me. His dirty blond hair curls just above his ears and he always has a sketchy smirk plastered to his face. Whether he was shooting birds and squirrels with a bloody slingshot Constance slipped him for Christmas at age five or outrunning the local cops at age fifteen, I knew he was mine. He didn't have to know that though. He would never have a father figure at all. Like father, like son. It was foreign to think of Michael as my son. The little fucker may look like me and follow my ways of disobedience and destruction, but calling him my son was still strange after all these years.
Constance visits sometimes. Her gray hairs multiply with every visit. I don't feel bad; or sad for her. She was a cock sucking bitch to me in my past life. And watching her struggle with control over her grandson gives me a thrill and almost joy.
Twenty years after the Harmon's took up permanent residency in the Murder House, I finally got my chance. I was sitting in the downstairs sun room after a few rounds of card games with Charles when Vivien appeared to me. She approached me quietly and cautiously. Her hands were placed on her hips and a frown formed on her lips. "Tate," I looked up and only stared. Vivien hadn't spoken to me in twenty years. She crossed the room and sat down on the couch opposite me. Her arms were folded tightly in front of her chest; her face illuminated by the summer light filtering through the stained glass windows. "Two decades ago, my daughter once asked me how I knew I had fallen in love with Ben." Vivien kept a long stare at me while she paused, creating tension. "I told her that you know you're in love with someone when the world feels incomplete without them; when you start to feel crazy because no matter what happens, you would do anything for that other person." I only looked back at the woman with curiosity. "She asked me that question because she had fallen in love with you." After some time passed, Vivien continued. "My daughter had fallen in love with the mysterious bastard who had died here." Vivien laughed at herself. "She had fallen in love with the young man who later raped her mother and shattered her own fragile heart." The room was quiet for what felt like eternity. "She still loves you. At this very moment she's upstairs all alone thinking about that same mysterious boy who she gave her heart to all those years ago." A small involuntary sound escaped my mouth. Violet still loved me.
"My reasons for raping you were fucked up." I said before Vivien got up and walked away. She then paused. "I wanted her to stay. I wanted to fix things. I wanted to help Nora and make her happy. I was wrong. I was wrong to rape you and wrong to fuck up your family. You have such a nice family, Mrs. Harmon and all of you have every right to hate me." Vivien turned to get a better listen. For the first time in decades the words spilling from my mouth were saturated in remorse and I felt every pain as they fell along with my tears. Nothing was superficial or fake. I needed to be saved, things were becoming too overwhelming. I had tried to tell the truth for so long. "I'm mentally unstable and have a fucked up mind but for the past twenty years I've paid for what I've done." "How?" Vivien asked, acid seeping into her words. "I've walked around this house in circles feeling this guilt. For twenty years, I've watched every one of you live without me. I've been alone for so long, Mrs. Harmon. I'm sorry that you are dead; I'm sorry that all of you had to suffer because of me, Mrs. Harmon. I have no right to love your daughter back, I'm not good enough to even be in her presence, but without her I am nothing. I'd never let anything or anyone hurt her. I'd die a thousand times over for her. I love your daughter, Mrs. Harmon. I love Violet."
"I love you too, Tate." A small voice replied. Standing by the entrance was Violet. Her blonde hair parted just right and fell in waves down her back. Her clothes were loose around her tiny frame and bright red lipstick covered her succulent lips. She looked so small standing by the door.
"But you said goodbye," I choked up, the tears brimming in my eyes. My vision blurred and returned; swimming through my cries.
"I didn't want to, Tate, but I needed to." That was all that she said to me before I eyed Vivien walking away. Violet stared after her mother for a moment longer; I saw the pain in her eyes. The sinking feeling of sadness appeared upon Violet's face and before I could stop myself I rushed towards her. I almost glided across the floor and wrapped my arms around Violet's shaking and shallow shoulders. At first, she only stood there motionless but then her body wracked with sobs and soon, I began to cry along with her. "I'm trying to be happy." She mumbled into my chest; my shirt soaking up her tears. Violet's arms crept around my torso and hugged me tightly. "I've tried. But there's too much of this whacked up bullshit. Ghosts and spirits, dead babies and seeing everyone die..." Violet faded out and began to cry again. "In all this darkness, Tate, you're the only one who I wanted to be beside." She then looked up at me with her chocolate brown eyes and almost at the sound of whisper, murmured, "I've missed you."
My words started to spill again. "I can tell you everything." I said. "I can admit to my wrongs and even though everyone says I can't feel remorse; I fucking do. Never in any of the time that I've been dead in this god damn house have I've ever felt sad. But watching you all alone and hurt made everything hurt. I need you to forgive me, Violet. I need you." Violet only looked back at me with her tear stained cheeks. "I went back to the school. Every Halloween for the past two decades, I've searched that school to find them. I'm too late but I've tried, Violet. I went inside and I shouted to them. I apologized to them; every single one of them. I made amends with Chad and Patrick." I told her. "I even went down into the basement and burned the Rubber suit and disposed of all my coke stashes. I've been cocaine free for eighteen years. I apologized to your mom and I have lunch with your dad every week. I'm fixing things the right way, Violet. I'm changing my ways. I'm changing them for me, but for you to forgive me."
Violet pulled back from our embrace; distancing herself an arm's length away. "But Tate, these aren't things that I can forgive you for." My heart sank. "The dreadful things you did, you lied to me about them. You lied right to my face and then denied it. I lost your trust."
"Can you trust me again?" I asked.
"I don't know, Tate. I want to be able to." She said.
I gripped her shoulders. "Trust me, Violet. That's all I'm asking." Her eyes scanned my face, I saw longing in them. "Please."
"I don't know," She began but before she finished her thought, her mouth was on mine. I hadn't attempted a move at all, Violet had kissed me first. She tasted sweet and her mouth was warm; the warm I had longed for. Her hands crept to my face and tugged at my hair. I wanted this so much, so badly and I was finally with her again. I responded immediately and kissed her back roughly. I hadn't held her in forever. My fingers roamed around her sides, grabbing at her hips and back. Our breathing became shallow. Then unwillingly, I pulled back, looking closely at Violet's precious face.
"What does this mean for us?" I breathed; squeezing her hips between my callused hands. Her own hands lingered on the fabric of my shirt.
Violet took a deep breath. "Yes." She replied quietly.