Disclaimer- I do not own Love Hina or anything associated with it unless it's some random character that I made up, but I don't have one of those in this story so I don't own anything…….bummer.
Author's Note- Okay, so in reality I'm supposed to be working on my latest fan fic. Zazie Rainyday: The Unfortunate Marionette. Unfortunately it's given me a serious case of writers block so I'm going to have to leave it alone for awhile before I end up writing some random garbage for a chapter. Meanwhile I saw this Love Hina AMV on YouTube ™ featuring Keitaro and Su (if you want to check it out go to and type in Love Hina Tarzan). This AMV inspired me to start writing again, so hopefully it will help me get out of the rut I'm in. Anyway, enough about my problems! ON TO THE STORY!
Story takes place after Manga 8. Beware, alternate universe fic!
A Royal Pain?
Episode 1: Should Have Said No.
"Keitaro!" Su bellowed as she leapt from the top of the stair case and slammed into Keitaro's head with the heel of her foot. After watching Keitaro slam into to a wall next the kitchen Su bounded up to his crumpled form and said, "Hiyas Keitaro!" She was currently wearing her usual sailor suit school uniform, and her platinum blond hair was pulled back in its usual ponytail.
After shaking off the pain Keitaro looked up into Su's emerald green orbs with his chocolate brown ones and responded with his usual nervous chuckle and asked, "Can I help you with something Su?" However it immediately clicked in Keitaro's mind that was not a question he should have asked as Su started grinning from ear to ear. Keitaro immediately got up and started backing into the wall hopping that it might swallow him and save him from what he assumed would be another one of Su's crazy experiments. "Um Su, you don't plan on having participate in another of your experiments do you?" Keitaro asked as Su drew closer to him, her hands behind her back and grinning from ear to ear.
"Nothing like that," Su responded far too sweetly for Keitaro's taste as she looked up at Keitaro with puppy dog eyes, "I just need your help with something."
'Oh man, she's too cute….no I've got to fight it,' Keitaro thought to himself as he audibly gulped and responded, "That depends Su, what exactly do you need help with?"
"Well it's nothing really all that important, I just needyoutogotoMolMolwithme," Su finished at near light speed and then smiled even more sweetly at Keitaro causing his remaining will power to crumble and fail him.
Had Keitaro actually heard what Su said he probably wouldn't have agreed to it. However he had not heard what she said and, combined with the incredibly sweet and innocent smile she was giving him, his willpower had been stripped from him. 'What's one more experiment, I am semi-immortal after all,' Keitato thought as he smiled down at Su and replied, "Sure, why not."
'Heh, hook, line, and sinker,' Su thought to herself as her angelic smile was replaced by a diabolic grin and she said, "Thankies Keitaro, I'll let you pack now." With that she bounded up the stairs and disappeared from sight.
Keitaro simply looked at the space Su had once occupied with a blank expression on his face as he thought, 'Did she just say she would leave me to pack?' As he thought this bits and pieces of what Su had actually said started to trickle into his brain. As soon as he got the whole picture Keitaro opened his mouth and let it hang agape for a moment before he said, "Oh crap."
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"Su I don't have enough money for this!" Keitaro whined as they rode in a taxi toward the airport. Keitaro was now dressed in his black turtle neck shirt (the one he wore in manga 8), a pair of dark blue denim jeans, and his usual pair of white tennis shoes.
"Quit yer blubberin'," Su demanded as she bounced happily in her seat.
"How do I get myself into these messes?" Keitaro thought to himself as he pulled out his raggedy brown leather wallet and waited for the cab to finish pulling up in front of the airport.
"1192 yen, mack," the cab driver, an old man with a lot of wrinkles and a lot of facial hair, stated in a very New York accent.
As Keitaro handed him the money he was about to ask if the man was from around here, but Su yanked him out of the cab and on to the street. Grabbing the bags out of the trunk with unbelievable amount of ease Su proceeded to launch them at Keitaro.
"AHHHH!" Keitaro cried as he cringed and waited for what he believed would be the inevitable sound of cracking bones and a lot of pain. After waiting a moment Keitaro slowly opened his eyes and looked around to see what had happened. Looking to his left and his right Keitaro saw a troop of foreign looking women dressed black suits, white dress shirts, and black ties. 'I wonder who they are, some type of secret service or something?' Keitaro thought to himself as he absently registered the fact that these women had in fact caught the bags that had almost crushed him.
"Okies! Let's go Keitaro," Su shouted merrily as she leapt onto Keitaro shoulders and pressed her heels into his stomach earning a loud "OMFH!" from Keitaro as he began to walk in the direction that Su was pointing.
'I guess they must be secret service or something because they're dressed in suits,' Keitaro thought to himself as he continued to walk in a trance toward the destination Su had pointed out to him. 'But then again what would the some secret service agents be doing with our bags?' Keitaro continued to think as he boarded a large jet, not even registering the fact that he hadn't even bought a ticket.
"Okies ladies, lets get goin'!" Su stated as she hopped off Keitaro's shoulders and landed in a large comfortable leather seat which featured three eyes that Keitaro could have sworn he saw on Su's inventions.
It was also at this time that Keitaro's mind began to register its surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the fact that the plane was huge, then he noticed that it was decked out in the finest decorum he could have ever imagined. There were large black leather seats, a movie theater size screen in the front, a lavish buffet (featuring a lot of bananas or banana dishes), a bar, and even a small arcade in the back.
"Whoa," was all Keitaro could say as he unconsciously took a seat neck to Su before everything started to click in his mind. "AHHHHHH! WHAT ARE WE DOING ON HERE!?" Keitaro shouted as his eyes bugged out of their sockets. "SU WE'VE GOT TO GET OFF OF HERE!...WAIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LUGGAGE!? WHO WERE THOSE WOMEN? WHATS GOING ON!?" Keitaro cried out as he began to hyperventilate.
Meanwhile Su sat in her seat happily munching on a banana and humming some random tune to herself.
"I feel weak," was all Keitaro said after a moment before he fell into a dead faint.
"Clean up on isle three!" Su shouted as she got up and walked over to the buffet grabbing a banana pudding.
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"Wakie Wakie Keitaro," was the first thing Keitaro heard as he came to.
"Ugh, man what a crazy dream," Keitaro moaned to himself as he ran his hands through his messy brown hair. 'For a minute there I thought I was on some fancy plane going to some crazy country,' Keitaro thought to himself as he opened his eyes slowly and allowed them to adjust to the bright light streaming into them.
"Come on Keitaro, we're here!" a voice Keitaro recognized as Su's stated, her voice full of excitement.
"We're wha?" Keitaro asked as his eyes shout open and he observed his surroundings before he added, "Oh crap! It' wasn't a dream!"
"You're taking too long," Su stated as she lifted him up out of his seat and dragged him out of the plane. Taking only a second to take in his surroundings, Keitaro found that he was in some type of tropical country due to the numerous palm trees, and intense heat.
"Su what's going on?" Keitaro asked with a hint of fear in his voice as he allowed him self to be dragged off of the plane and into a long black limousine featuring a three eyed design that Keitaro knew he had seen both on the plane and on Su's inventions.
"We're going to meet my parents!" Su exclaimed happily as she grabbed a banana soda out of the small refrigerator in the lemo.
"WHAT!" Keitaro cried out in a mixture of panic and fright before he fainted once again.
"Tamalla, clean up in isle three again!" Su shouted to the front of the cab before she started chugging down her soda.
Later
"Jeez, these dreams are starting to get crazier and crazier," Keitaro said to himself as he once again woke up thinking everything that had happened to him had been a dream.
"Hey, you woke up just in time," Su stated as the door on her side opened to reveal a magnificent east Indian looking castle and some kind of royal celebration.
Keitaro's mouth simply hung open as he exited the lemo and Su clomped onto his back and pressed her heals into his side.
"Giddy Up!" Su demanded with a maniacal laugh as she and Keitaro walked past a enormous crowed of cheering people. Keitaro had always hated being in the lime light, and a situation like this was his worse nightmare. Although his knees were shaking and quivering underneath him, Keitaro managed to continue to walk up a long flight of stairs towards the palace as Su had directed.
'This is not going to end well, I can already feel it," Keitaro gripped mentally to himself as he continued ascend the stairs, as Su continued to wave at the cheering people. As he reached the final step Keitaro came face to face with a large muscular bronze skinned man wearing a blue pen stripe western suit, a extravagantly designed lopsided gold crown, and a large Cuban cigar sticking out the corner of his mouth. His large emerald eyes gleamed in the bright sun light, and his messy goatee added a sort of laid back presence to his figure.
"Hey kiddo, it's about time you came back for a visit," the man stated with a hearty chuckle as he opened his arms wide.
"Hiyas daddy!" Su exclaimed as she leapt off of Keitaro's shoulders and bolted towards her father enveloping him in a bone crunching bear hug which he countered with his own.
'Well that explains the hug thing,' Keitaro thought to himself with a nervous chuckle as he took in the rest of the people standing at the stairs. Next to Su's father stood an equally bronze skinned woman wearing what appeared to be a traditional dress, one that showed a lot of cleavage, and a smaller gold crown which was placed neatly on the top of her head. The woman had long flowing platinum blond hair which extended down to the small of her back, deep blue eyes, and pouty lips. She smiled at Keitaro, although Keitaro thought that it looked rather forced, and did a small nod of her head in acknowledgement. Keitaro bowed back in respect and then continued to look at the other two individuals gathered at the steps.
A few meters behind the woman stood another bronze skinned young woman wearing what also appeared to be a traditional navy blue top, which also showed a lot of cleavage and her toned abs, and a long bubble gum pink skirt which extended down to her ankles. However it wasn't the cleavage or the exposed stomach that caught Keitaro's attention, it was her long silver hair, which was pulled back into a messy ponytail, her soft features, and her clear blue eyes. While Keitaro continued to gaze at her she gave him a small bow in respect and a small sweet smile. Keitaro caught himself staring and blushed wildly as he returned her bow with one of his own.
Taking his attention off of the young woman, Keitaro came face to face with a young man who looked exactly like him….well almost exactly like him. The young man had similar facial features, but his deep green eyes, black hair, and toned muscular frame far exceeded that of Keitaro's. Another noticeable difference was his clothing which consisted of some kind of extravagantly designed tan, and green tunic, and similar pair of pants. The young man gave Keitaro a small nod as a welcome smiled serenely at him. Keitaro bowed in respect once again, and proceeded to try to allow his brain to actually process the information it had been fed.
'So lets see, the guy in the suit is Su's father, the woman standing next to him must be her mother, the girl behind the mother must be her sister, and the guy standing next to her must be the brother she's always saying I remind her of. Okay I've got that down, let's see….so since he looks to be the king than that would make Su a princess…..got it………WAIT WHAT!?' Keitaro mentally shouted to himself as his eyes bugged out and then his pupils dilated.
"Hey kiddo, is he going to be okay?" Su's father asked as he released his daughter and regarded the young man with concern evident in his large green eyes.
"Yes dear, he looks like he's about to faint. Someone might want to catch him before he falls down the steps," Su's mother suggested with concern only evident in her voice, as she added under her breath, "Or not."
"Aw, soon to be hubby will be fine," Su said waving off their concern and signaling one of the "secret service" members to take the luggage inside. Just then a loud thump could be heard and the cheering suddenly changed into loud gasps and cries.
Su turned to see Keitaro fall down the palace steps smashing his head on every other one.
"Well it looks like my problems are solved," the queen muttered to herself with an evil smirk as she watched Keitaro plummet to his "doom".
"Oh my god," Su's sister cried out as the man came to a stop and crumpled at the base of the palace steps.
"Calm down Amalla, I already told you he was immortal," Su said waving it off once again before she looked down the steps and shook her head as if in disgust. Cupping her hands she placed them over her mouth and shouted, "Shake it off Keitaro!"
Everyone, except the king, face faulted dramatically after Su's announcement.
"Well I'll be in my room, bring hubby there as well. Okies?" Su inquired as she hopped on the shoulders of one of her body guards and entered the palace.
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"Owww," Keitaro moaned as he woke up and clutched his head in pain. "How hard did Narusegawa hit me this time?" Keitaro griped as he opened his eyes. "Wait a minute this isn't my room," Keitaro stated as he looked around the room. He had a sinking suspicion that he had perhaps landed on some type of porno set. He immediately rethought this as he looked around and noticed that it was too extravagant to be some random porn set. 'Maybe I landed in some bodies private love room or something,' Keitaro thought to himself as he looked at marble columns at each corner of the room, the extravagant crystal chandelier above him, the heart shaped plushy bed he was sitting on which numerous gadgets attached, and numerous other accoutrements.
"Hey hubby, it's about time you woke up!" Su shouted as she flung open the giant white and gold door the lead into the room.
"Hubby?" Keitaro questioned as his mind went into overdrive trying to comprehend exactly what was going on. Unfortunately it short circuited halfway leaving a sputtering mindless Keitaro.
"Yep!" Su exclaimed as she hopped on top of his head and started ruffling his hair.
"What, when, why, how?" Keitaro sputtered as he desperately tried to cling on to the last bit of his sanity.
"Well to answer the what, you're going to be my hubby. To answer the when it happened, well when you first came to the Hinata Sou. To answer they why, because I like you and you're really fun. To answer the how, well there's no need because you're already here, okies?" Su asked in a cheerful tone of voice as she thought, 'There are a lot of other reasons for the why and when, but for right now it would be safer if you didn't know. Too many complications and too many problems.'
"Duh," was Keitaro's only response as his mind finished processing exactly what was going on. After a moment of complete silence Keitaro hung his head and moaned, "I am soooo dead when the others find out."
"Don't worry about them soon to be hubby, my new mecha tama models should hold them for a while. If you're worried about a note though, already left them one," Su stated as she hopped off of Keitaro's head and turned to face him.
Keitaro started to chuckle nervously as he asked his next question, "Um Su, what exactly did that note say?"
"That we're getting' hitched!" Su exclaimed before she added, "Well I'll see you at dinner soon to be hubby!" However before Su had a chance to leave Keitaro gently grabbed her wrist and turned her to face him. Turning to face him Su came face to face with a distraught looking Keitaro.
"Su-chan, we can't get married just because you like me and on top of that you're almost a decade younger than me," Keitaro stated sympathetically as he looked into the younger girls emerald eyes, his own brimming with compassion and almost pleading.
The look in Keitaro's eyes made Su's heart melt and she began thinking, 'While he's right, this plan just works out too well for me to give up on him. Sorry Keitaro, but you're gonna be stuck with me whether you like it or not….although I would prefer the prior rather than the latter. And it's not like I don't think I could love him, there is an almost definite chance that I could.' Su gazed into Keitaro's pleading eyes for a moment before she heard a soft knocking on the door.
"Your majesty, they are waiting for you and your guest in the dinning hall. I humbly suggest that you two make haste, you know how his majesty gets when he's hungry" the voice of a young woman stated before soft foot steps could be heard walking away from the door and down the hall.
"We can talk later, okies?" Su asked with a wide smile as she released herself from Keitaro's loose grip and headed out the door and down the grand hallway.
"I don't think she heard a word I said," Keitaro groused to himself as he shook his head envisioning his impeding doom when the girls finally got defeated the Mecha Tama's Su had invented. After letting out a beligured sigh Keitaro got up from the bed and went down to the dining hall.
To Be Continued
Next Episode: Meet the Parents