Authoress' Words: So, my first story. It just had to be an AU, cracky fic. As much as I love D.Gray-Man, I just couldn't help myself and I started writing this poor fic. A few things might be off, as I don't live in America and I'm guessing Subways over there must be very different from the ones here, so just go with the flow. Hope you enjoy it!


"What do you want?"

"Eh, hi! I'd like a… Hm…"

The scene was really interesting. The three other curtomers sitting at different tables in the small "Subway" local perked up from their sandwiches and discretely stared at a young, white haired kid.

Amazingly enough, the white hair wasn't what was calling their attention. It was, in fact, that he looked so calm in front of the cashier. "Kanda" his nametag said.

A small growl was heard, but the boy, Allen, seemed not to have heard it.

"Hm…" He put a finger over his mouth, in an indecisive gesture.

Kanda just clinched his fist, his arm starting to shake.

"Hm…" Allen shifted on his hips, his silver eyes reviewing the menu over and over.

The other people were now holding their meals halfway into their mouths, little pieces of lettuce falling onto their tables.

"Just. Make. A. Fucking. Choice".

Allen widened his eyes, the innocent expression refusing to leave his face.

"Uh? Did you say something?"

There was a gasp.

"What do you want?!" Kanda's voice was shaky. His eyes were hidden by both the position of his face and the strands of hair falling over his forehead.

The other customers wouldn't move.

"Oh, right! Uhm…" And Allen was back at his former position.

Kanda gritted his teeth, his arms and shoulders shaking with anger.

The boy's hips shifted again, making Kanda flip.

"Just pick something, for fuck's sake!" He snapped, turning in a quick movement and grabbing a baguette bread. He pointed it at Allen's throat, making him skip a heartbeat.

The whole situation was plain stupid, but no one would have laughed even if their lives depended on it. Because, if you thought about it, the plastic forks for the salads were mere three feet away from the deadly cashier.

Allen was completely frozen, fearing the loaf of bread.

Kanda's expression was completely unreadable.

Little crumbs of bread fell into Allen's shirt, making him itch and shift to shake his clothes.

"Hey, Yuu, you can't use those kinda words here, ya know?"

Another teenager came from behind Kanda, putting the cashier's arm down and taking the baguette away. "He's a customer; your job is to serve him"

"I don't wanna fucking se-" Kanda was cut off.

"He said you can't use those words here! And shut up about what you want or don't want, you're getting a bleeping payment for this!" A growl came from even deeper into the local.

"See? Manager Reever agrees" Lavi, the cook, leaned over the register.

"What would you like, kid?" he asked, his voice loving and understanding.

Allen stared at the eye patch for a few seconds, in silence. Somebody behind Allen sipped some soda.

"Oil. Heat. Water. Silly me. I'm healed, but I like wearing it" Lavi said, noticing the boy's curiosity.

Allen smiled.

"I'd like something simple. Ooh, I know!" Kanda growled "I want a tuna one, 12 inches, extra cheese, make it a combo, chocolate chip cookie, to eat here, please!"

"In a minute!" Lavi backed a little to start preparing the sandwich, while Kanda regained his stoic position in front of the register, pressing some buttons.

"7.55$" He coldly stated.

Allen handed him a 10$ bill, with a smile.

"Tsk. Freaking Lavi and his I bet you can't do my job for a week bet. When I get back in the kitchen, I'll burn his other eye blind" Kanda took the bill and opened the register for some change, mumbling barely understandable words and cursing the redhead.

"Here. 2.45$ change" he threw the money on the counter, grabbed a cup and stared at the boy.

Allen seemed to get the hint.

"Sprite, please"

"See? Fucking kids"

Lavi put the wrapped sandwich on a tray, along with some napkins and a cookie.

"Enjoy!"

Kanda resisted the urge to drop the drink on the redhead, and finished serving Allen.

Allen took the tray and went to sit at a not-so-far-away table. He ate happily, humming something to himself. Once he was done, he went up to the register again. Kanda growled.

"Thank you!" Allen gave Kanda an energetic smile, and discretely pulled something out of his pocked.

He took Kanda's hand, slipping something onto it. Kanda was too shocked to react, and the other customers would be too if their hunger hadn't beaten their curiosity.

"See you some other time!" the boy leaned over the counter "Thank you, Mr. Cook!" he said.

Not sure this qualifies me as a cook, Lavi thought. "I'm Lavi. And no prob, buddy!"

Allen turned away and made his way out. A bell rang, and the boy was gone.

Kanda turned to see what was in his hand.

It was a card.

"Allen Walker. 567-8989, call me !"

Kanda blinked a few times before fully understanding the situation.

Wait, it's a card. So, he has them ready to just hand out? Kanda thought.

"The slut" he hissed. He failed to notice Lavi over his shoulder until the redhead spoke.

"Ha! Allen Walker, eh? I'll remember that name. And the phone number, too. If you won't call him, I will" he turned and went back to his place.

"Bastard. I hate this job" Kanda tried to ignore the blush invading his cheeks caused by Lavi's insinuations.

"And it's only been two days. Remember, if you don't stay there for a week I'm taking your room." Lavi chuckled. Kanda growled, once again.

"At least you got a date!" Reever shouted, somehow aware of the situation.

I hate you all, Kanda thought.