Authors Notes: i do not own anyone in the batman comics, i just own the idea of this story, and Litle JJ
Renee Montoya= Gothem Police officer.
Harvey Bullock:police detective. Originally hired to destroy commissioner Gordens career. But later decides against doing that. He's a detective with poor morals.
Comish= is what Bullock calls Commissioner Gordon.
Red= Poison Ivy
B-man- Batmans
bird-boy or bird brain=Robin/boy wonder
Mistah J, Puddin=The Joker
also Italics is Harley's thoughts.
OK, on with the story, which starts out as Harley thinking to herself
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Laying in the Arkham Assylum Hospital Harley Quinn was deep in thought.
Abuse: its an intentional violent or harmful act. It is to Wrongly Misuse authority. Abuse can be Mental or physical, it can cause serious permanent damage. Now, the one thing they do not tell you is that It can only be abuse if it is harmful. And that its not normal to want, or inflict it upon oneself.
Normality: standard, or average. Those things could never describe my life, not now nor in my past.
I suppose if someone where to see the way my Puddin and I used to be, they would automatically assume I'd be a victim of abuse. In a destructive, hurtful, harmful relationship. "You deserve better" that is something Red always said to me.
I remember the look of sympathy in B-Man, and that bird boy's eyes every time My Puddin would yell, or man-handle me. pfft, man-handle. Why do all things start or end with men in the first place? Mankind, Menstrual cramps, human, Mentality, Mental. Etc.
Its not something a normal person would be able to understand. There's that word again, Normal.
If only they could understand. Understand the fascination of the mentally insane, the thrill of being the queen of crime, the rush you get when you're caught and chased by B-man, the ecstasy from the wounds given in battle, the sense of calm alerting the senses that you're about to black out.
Ya know as a kid I fantasized this life. I dreamed of understanding why people like my Puddin did the things they do. But I now realize that its just a part of who you are. It is not something you can explain or a switch you are able to turn on and off. You are either a psychopath or you are not. Truth be Told, I am. I know this now. I guess A part of me always has. I just refused to acknowledge it until my first time in Akham Asylum.
You can suppress the insanity, burring it deep inside yourself. This way you are able to blend into society. However this never came easily to Mistah J. So i'm the one put on a facade. i put on the costumes and play the role as a "normal person"... Ugh, the word... Normal
(Now Harley has a flashback. of a time she once had to blend into the rest of society. from "Batman the animated series: episode "The Man Who Killed Batman")
Joker and I just got the word of Batmans unfortunate accidental death. And went to investigate a guy named Squid . Squid is the man who killed batman. Things ended up not as they seemed. Of course we should have seen through it. Batman would NEVER die from a silly accident like a burning building. I have had enough experience myself to know this first hand.
Here i am standing against the wall hidden out of Detective Bullocks view.I'm just waiting for the perfect time for my entrance as Harleen Quinzel the Legal Counselor. Not Harley Quinn the Queen of crime.
Harvey Bullock came to find the pretty police officer. "Uh Montoya word is coming in on the streets about a homicide victim." he spoke in a very concerned monotone type of way. Ya know,Sometimes i think that stingy detective has a hard time showing emotions.
Renee Turns around to face Bullock."Ya have an ID?"she sounded less than enthused.
honestly,I actually don't mind when the pretty police officer catches me. She's a pretty cool gal. Renee Montoya holds something confident, and professional about her. I bet she has a glamorous time in the nightlife too. Maybe i'll ask her next time she's driving me back to Arkham.
"Yea, its uh. Batman."
I do not believe Rumor is true? B-Man is dead? From a fire? Somehow I still don't believe this, I feel tricked.
"What how?" her voice was dripping with shock,concern, confusion, and a bit of pain.
Scratching the nape of his neck nervously Bullock replies "That explosion at the Customs house. They said its the work of some mastermind called The Squid." briefly Pausing for a second at the horrified look on Renee's face he continues."Look Renee Comish is taking it pretty hard, could you?"
Just as Renee was about to walk away, she stops. not even looking over her shoulder as she responds with "Sure, Sure." She knew exactly what he meant. She will have to write the report on Batman, and talk to Commissioner Gorden, since he seams to be taking this news pretty hard.
I stay where I am. Watching as the police officer leaves. Looking distressed, and depressed. It's such a Bummer too .She's So much prettier with a smile on her face.
Detective Bullock starts to question the current prisoners in the cell right behind him. However the questions come out more like he is yelling at them all accusingly. "How bout it losers? Ya see anything tonight? What's the word on this Squid guy, eh?"
These must be the men they found near the fire where Batman's body was found.
The stingy, immoral Detective continues with anger in his voice "What bout you skinny, got anything to say?"
That skinny guy is the one I am looking for. Talk about perfect timing.
I walk up to Detective Bullock and act Like a Legal Counselor, Just as Mistah J insisted. "Ahem. Just one minute. I'm Harlene Quinzel legal counselor to . I've paid his bail and he doesn't have to answer any questions until he is formally arranged."
And here I was concerned that I wouldn't come across as professional enough. Turns out I haven't lost my touch one bit. Good thing too. at least i know that If this crime life doesn't work out can hack the computer system and wipe my record clean, land myself a new psychiatric job.
Bullock seams very confused "Don I know you from some place?"
what he can't tell who I am without the make up and jester outfit? He really must be Poor detective.
I respond back sounding bored "I think I served you a subpoena once... It was a small subpoena." What a beautiful white lie. And it came so naturally too.
i am stuck deep in thought as Mr. Dubree (aka Squid) and I exit Gothem County Jail, and get into my car. That little guy, Squid? Could he really kill Batman? I know looks can be deceiving. But seriously?
I spot Squid looking at me from my rear view mirror seeing as he must sit in the back seat. "Who'd care enough to bail me out of the jug? My mom doesn't even speak to me and my parole officer's in jail." Squid sounds very confused at this. -cough, cough- "Wow Lady you sure put on the make up."
Just another thing that has become second nature to me lately. Putting my make up on while driving. .
"My boss likes me to wear a smile to work." I say as I look back at the tiny, scared, shy man, called Squid. Still can't believe that he killed Batman. But I guess if he didn't we'll find out soon.
"Hey, I've seen you. You work for.. The Joker" he speaks, trembling with fear.
End of Flashback back to her normal thoughts
There was always a part of me that fancied a man who does not hide his emotions. some one with an extreme personality, Psychopathic if you may. as i I once said before. "Gotta admit there's a bit of glamour to extreme personalities". At the time it was a way to hide my true self. Just to play it off as a fascination. It is insane to Fancy a psychopath. To fancy someone who would cause you physical harm. Some one who could understand the ecstasy from seeing blood Flowing from yourself or others
Someone like my Puddin, Its insane to fancy is unless your psychopathic yourself.
This is something I wish B-man, Bird-Brain, and Red could understand. I wish I could have wiped those apathetic looks given to me every time they saw my Puddin upset.
But they would never believe me. They assume i'm just a girl being used and abused.. they think i'm giving excuses. i know this because I know the excuses those battered women give. I know the lies, I have heard it all before. however I threw away all the recordings from my psychiatric days long ago. Its just a Memory now. a part of the past. Past that I can never give up. Being a psychiatrist is built into who I am. Constantly analyzing, and knowing how people work. Knowing what lie to say, or what to do to be convincing. Its as if I was born to be psycho-therapist.
finally capable of walking again, i get up to sign my signature on a couple forms "suppose now is the time to move forward with my life. No more mourning over my Puddin. No more Misery. No more Joker, and no more obsession. Now is the time for a new chapter, Isn't that right Doc?" She spoke to the Nurse as she wrote a name on the birth Certificate. ~Jack Japer Quinzel~.
"So you're planning a normal life now Mrs. Quinzel?" The red headed nurse asks
"Normal; Conforming to the average persons Point of view. It is something made up to describe something regular, or standard. And anything that is out of place."
The nurse ignored my response. I suspect this is because the response was not what she was expecting... so i decide to change my answer to her question.
"I plan on it this time, yes."
No more Joker, and no more obsession. Now is the time for a new chapter
This is the time for a new Chapter, a Chapter without Obsession, without the Joker. But who said anything about giving up the thrill ,and the ecstasy of a good chase.
"My beautiful perfect baby boy, JJ" Harley Quinn Spoke as she walked out of her assigned room there at arkham, her newborn baby in her arms.
Having all of Gothem City, and Arkham doctors believing her life of crime to be over. Assigning her a certificate claiming her to be mentally Sane, and officially checked out of Akham Asylum. Things truly were looking up for her.
"Congratulations Harley Quinn. Green Hair, huh?" This was probably the first sincere smile Batman has ever given her. Plus Harley noted that there was a slight chuckle in his voice near the end of his sentence
"Batman? you should really atop sneaking up on people. Yes, he looks just like his father doesn't he?" Her voice was a mix of sadness, and happiness at the same time. harleen truly missed her puddin. But she Loved her like Jack Japer with all her heart.
Batmans smile was still there. not once looking away from little Jack, batman responds "Minus the smile, Mrs. Quinn." Looking back up to Harley he asks "does this mean your free of Arkham for good?"
"Unless they reconsider my paperwork. or i step on the wrong side of the railroad tracks again. And Please, Call me Harley, Everyone does."
Joker would laugh himself silly if he ever saw this. Me, Harley walking side by side with batman. Acting all chummy and such. But getting the whole city to trust me is part of the plan. And it was working.
"I hardly think that would happen, Harlequin". Batman spoke her name spoken in almost a sarcastic tone.
His voice just then it reminds me of some one... Bruce Wayne?
Harley stops right before they both exit the front door to Akham asylum. while holding Jack Japer Harley Stands on her tip-toes and leans up towards Batmans face. Whispering "So, Bruce Wayne."
with one smooth mopve she Keeps eye contact on batman, Steps back down, and rests her hand on the door handle. continuing her sentence. "Are you gonna be a gentlemen and walk me home? Or just seeing to that I leave in a civilized manner?, you know without guns Blazing this time."
Bruce stood there shocked for a second. He knew she would find out eventually. she always was a very smart, and deceptive girl. He knew this and expected this day to come. But not yet. She knew his identity? For how long? Did the Joker know too? What about twoface, penguin, or Poison Ivy? What others had she told?
She never gave any sign that she knew who he was. She never waved to him on the street, or came to his mansion. Then again if Penguin, or two face knew they would have done something to him by now. Same thing with the Joker. However, he knew Harley was smart and would most likely not tell Joker. She'd keep it a secret, knowing that trying to shoot down Batman in his own domain is not wise, and would certainly result in defeat.
"Do you have a place to stay Harley?" Bruce.. No Batman at the momentt. Asked as he opened up the passenger side door for Harley Quinn. She noted he already had a carseat set up for her little JJ.
"What? No handcuffs?" Harley Laughed at her own joke. "But seriously, since you offered I'd love to stay the night." Harley gave her myschevious grin "i cant sleep in your bed tho, mister Wayne. after all i have other priorities now." She half joked as she was smiling down at her little JJ
Batman smiled, and looked at her. ignoring the last comment she made."-sigh- You know I can't let you enter through the batcave right?" Oh I almost forget, Does he have a name?" putting the batmobile in camouflage mode he drove into one of his many garages, connected to the Wayne Mansion
"Oh, I completely understand Mr.. Wayne. And for your previous question. His name is Jack Japer Quinzel"
Now parked in the garage, which looked more like a football sized car shop. They stood outside the batmobile as Bruce wayne stripped Batsuit off. throwing it to the back seat. surprisingly he was already wearing a stylish black pin striped suit and tie underneath all that leather.
walking side by side towards the nearest elevator. Bruce spoke in a slightly flirtatious tone."ha has beautiful eyes, must get that from you, huh?" looking down at Harleys new baby boy. "May i hold him?"
"I'll take that as a compliment. Harley teased as she handed JJ over to him.
"So, Jack Japer huh? Like a Jack in the box? And Japer, Like the nickname for a Jester correct?"
spoke with a giggle "you know me so well after all our years of friendship."
Yes, Harlene Quinzel always knew what the consequences were for being in love with a psychopathic clown, and new the consequences of being one herself. And she was completely okay with this..
Authors notes: Sorry for the short Chapter, this is intended to be a one shot. I have ideas for this to become an actual story with multiple chapters. if you want this to continue please comment. Thank You