Breaking an Angel

Chapter 1

Your name is Nico di Angelo and you're addicted to meth. Your addiction started back when you were in military school. Your boyfriend had talked you into it, and you've never managed to regret accepting the dirty pipe. It was a sad story, one that started with a suicide attempt. Your sweaty palms had tightly gripped the rope as they hung it from the ceiling. Your shaky legs rattled the chair beneath you. You were finally going to do it. You were finally going to escape from all the bullying and pain. Your sister, Bianca, was fast asleep in your room, unaware of your life being about to slip away. Sure, she would miss you, but finally she wouldn't have to take care of you any longer. She would be free from the burden that is you.

"What are you doing?" called a voice from the doorway. Your head snapped in the direction of the doorway to see a boy standing there. Shaggy blond hair hung in a tangled mess around a pale head. Worried green eyes stared at you. You were speechless. You could have sworn that you had locked the door.

"How did you get in here?" You ask in a nervous voice.

He gently replies, "I picked the lock."

"You picked the lock? What? Why?"

The young boy took a seat and patted the one next to him. "Sit down and I'll explain."

You weren't having it. You had spent too long trying to climb onto this chair and were not getting down just like that.

"No!" You exclaimed. "I won't do it! You can't make me!"

He proved you wrong by walking over and yanking the chair out from under you. You had yet to put the noose around your neck so harmlessly fell into his arms. They were skinny, yet oddly muscular.

"What are you doing?!" You screeched. "Put me down right this instant!"

Your command seemed to have no effect on him for all he did was pull you closer. This was so unfair! You were sick of this world and you should be a loud to leave it! It was your life and it's not like you had a bunch of people who would care! You didn't have friends! You didn't have parents! All you had was a sister who hated you and pain!

He took you over to a bench in the back off the room and sat down next to you. He gave you a warning look and then took a small glass pipe out of his pocket and filled it with white chunks. You wanted to run back over to the rope but curiosity took the better of you.

"What's that?" You questioned innocently.

"It's called meth and it's a mother fucking miracle," he said with a slight grin. He lit the object and took a deep smoke from it. The smell filled the room and you couldn't help but grimace.

"It smells weird," you declared bluntly.

He laughed and took another puff. "I guess it does. Ya."

You rolled your eyes and watched the smoke roll from his mouth with an awed expression. Your sister kept you very sheltered so you had never seen anyone smoke. Then he asked the question that would change your life.

"Want to try it?" You had never learned about drugs so had no idea the dangers.

"I guess." You state nervously.

He handed over the pipe and you curiously took in the fumes. It didn't work very well. You bent over coughing and hacking. The boy laughed at your expense and you scowled heavily. Determined to not look weak you quickly took in another breath and tried to mimic how he had held it in. Eventually the burning faded and a strange sense took over your mind. It was amazing! You felt your worries slip away and a sense of self security wrapped around you. You felt like you were on top of the world!

Eagerly you took in a few more puffs and after a while he had to snatch the pipe away from you so that he could finish his own smoking session.

"That's why I came in here," he explained. "My roommate hates the smell so I have to come in here to relieve my smoking needs."

"How do you get it? Where can I get it?" Addiction and need took over as you became desperate to not let the feeling fade.

A thoughtful look crossed over his face and you waited impatiently.

"I'll get it for you. Meet me here after school each day and I'll supply you with some. You'll have to give me some money though. If I'm going to buy it then so are you."

You eagerly nodded and fished through your pockets hoping you had cash on you. What were you thinking? Of course you didn't have cash on you. You were planning on killing yourself, not going on a shopping spree.

"I-I don't have any on me," you said. The high was still overtaking your brain so you weren't able to feel sad. Disappointment still managed to enter your head so you sulked.

"Hm…That's a problem," he decided. He smoked the pipe a bit longer than a slow smile crossed onto his face. "You can make it up to me…in a different way," he cooed softly.

That night you gained an addiction and lost your virginity.

Chapter 2

You stayed up with him all night talking. You told him about the bullies and your lack of parents. In return he told you his name and his story. His name was Adam. His mother conceived him at a young age and his father walked out once he was told about the pregnancy. Adam had lived with his mother for six years before she got cancer. The mother had no living relatives so the hospital tried to get in contact with his father. His father was a wealthy business man so sent Adam away to your boarding school. Adam was currently fifteen. It was a bit of an age difference since you were only nine, but it didn't matter. He too got bullied, and he used drugs and alcohol to cope. He admitted that on occasions he would also try to kill himself when he felt like he couldn't handle things anymore. The more you learned about him the more you liked him. Just before morning struck the two of you made a suicide pact then parted ways. You had a reason to live. You had someone who understood you and promised to stay by your side. You never thought he would break it. It never crossed your mind.

Chapter 3

"Where have you been?" screeched a furious Bianca. You laughed and waved away the question. You hadn't gotten any sleep yet you felt more awake then you ever had before. It must be the meth. Adam was right! Meth was a motherfucking miracle! (Whatever that means.)

"Nico di Angelo answer me right this instant! It is six in the morning and you have been gone all night and WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!"

You sniffed your clothes and realized that the smell of the smoke had clung to you.

"You're right. I need a shower." Ignoring Bianca's screaming you head to the shower room and strip off your clothes. Most boys were still asleep so early on so you didn't have to worry about bullies. You didn't really care though. You could take them. You were king of the world. You'd kill them all and laugh at their corpses. Hm…You got the feeling that this was the meth speaking.

You turned on the shower and sighed happily as the warm water fell onto your skin. A great thing about being up this early was that hot water was available. Normally your stomach would be growling, but the heaven powder kept you full. All you could think about was that evening when more drugs would be available. That's a lie. Soon the thoughts were replaced with the thought of Adam. The images from last night rushed into your head and you felt your lower region heat up. It was still a strange feeling, but it was a nice one. Experimentally you took care of what Adam called a boner.

The shower was over much too soon and you found yourself sitting across from Bianca.

"Nico, I'm really worried about you. What's going on?"

You remembered Adam telling you about how last night needed to be kept a secret so shook your head and smiled brightly.

"I went on a walk last night."

"A walk? All night?"

"Yes. It was a very good walk. It gave me plenty of time to think and I've decided that I'm done dealing putting up with bullshit. This world is silly and it doesn't really matter."

Bianca's jaw dropped open and she stared at you in horror. "What are you talking about? Why are you saying those things? Why are you cussing? Your excuse is not a very good one. Tell me the truth!"

"No can do, Sissaroo." You giggle at your word choice. Everything you said was so funny. Bianca didn't seem to think so. She looked so serious. It was ridiculous. You didn't understand why you even needed to keep the drugs a secret. Surely she would benefit from the white substance. Adam was being silly, but you didn't want to let him down so you kept your mouth shut about your new secret.

Classes were so boring. You spent the whole day doodling in your notebook and getting shouted at by your teachers. Bianca was older so at least you were away from her. Sadly, you were also away from Adam. Life was so unfair. Luckily, you had found a cheat code. The secret code is m-e-t-h.

Chapter 4

Finally night came. You and Adam had made plans to meet at one. Bianca decided to stop you from leaving the room and made you share the bed with her. You couldn't believe what a nuisance she was! When the clock said twelve forty-five you slunk out of bed and hid in the shadows. Bianca didn't wake which you were very thankful of. You easily made it down to the classroom and found Adam already waiting. A huge smile appeared on your face, and you happily said hello. Adam lit a pipe stuck it in his mouth. Craving surged through your body and you rushed over and took it from him. He looked amused.

"Nu-uh-uh," he whispered quietly. "Get your own." He winked and pulled out a cleaner pipe from his pocket. "Did you bring cash?"

You nodded and pulled the twenty dollars from your pocket. Adam took the money and put it in his other pocket. From the pipe pocket he pulled a small bag of meth. After filling the pipe he handed it to you then lit it. You returned his and took a big breathe from the tube. Energy surged through you and a goofy grin appeared on your face. He laughed at your expression and smoked his own pipe. For a while you two just sat there enjoying each other's company and the comfort of the crystals. (He said that's a nickname for meth.) When the pipe was empty he pulled you into a kiss. His lips felt so right against yours.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" He whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Yes," you reply before pulling his lips back against yours.

Chapter 5

You and Adam had been together for six months. At that point in the relationship you could honestly say that you loved him. He meant the world to you. He made you feel listened to and understood. He would hold you when you cried and smile when you laughed. Your grades were low, but your spirits were high. Everything was perfect, but then everything went wrong.

You entered your dorm room to see Bianca standing there holding your pipe and bag of meth. Fear slid into your bones like maggots into a dead squirrel.

"Nico..." your sister slowly said, "what is this?" What were you supposed to say? Adam told you that she would take away your drugs if she found out about them. They were the only thing you loved more than Adam. Your sister was holding them in her shaky hands and expecting an explanation. What would you do?

"Bianca…" you start slowly, "it's nothing…"

"N-nothing? How is this nothing? Nico, these are drugs! These are really bad for you! I don't know what type they are, but they are damaging both physically and mentally!"

"I don't care, okay? They make me feel good and help me cope. They make me happy. You want me to be happy, don't you?" You said each word carefully, hoping to make her understand.

"Nico, this isn't the way to go about it. How long have you been taking these things?"

You figure that it was time to come clean. "Six months."

"Six months?!" she yelled. "You've been doing this stuff for six months! Wh-what? Where have you even been getting this stuff?"

"I've been getting it from my boyfriend." And after that you told her all about your suicide attempt and how he had saved your life. You told her how much you loved him and how happy he made you. She didn't care.

"He is a bad influence, and I don't want you seeing him anymore."

"What? You can't do that to me! You're not my mom!"

"Yes, well I am your older sister and you have to listen to me! He's not good, and I forbid you from hanging around him!"

"No!" No! This couldn't be happening! How could she do this to you?

You ran from the room, loudly slamming the door behind you. Racing to the classroom, you wish you had snatched the drugs from her when you had the chance.

Adam wasn't in the room so you laid on the floor and cried. Slowly your eyes came to the supplies cabinet in the corner.

Chapter 6

The cool blade slashed against your skin, drawing crimson from your veins. Oh how you had missed the sting of the weapon. The cuts weren't deep since the saber was but a pair of scissors. Still, it had the wanted effect. Lines appeared in your skin as they dripped red juice. 'A' 'd' 'a' 'm' Your boyfriend's name was now carved into your throbbing skin. A satisfied smile broke onto your face.

"Nico," gasped the owner of the name, "what have you done?" You dropped the blade and looked up in shock.

"Adam…when did you get here?" He shook his head and rushed to your side. He stared at the cuts with a sad expression. He tore of a piece of his shirt and wrapped it around your bleeding arm. He pulled you onto his lap and held you close. You're not sure if you stayed there for minutes or hours.

"Bianca found out," you muttered hoarsely. Adam sucked in his breath.

"How much?"

"Everything."

"How did she react?"

With that you once again began to cry. You wrapped your arms around your boyfriend's neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

"She said you're a bad influence. She told me to stop seeing you. I don't wanna stop seeing you. Adam, I love you." Tears formed in his own eyes.

"I love you too mal'akhi hakatan." Mal'akhi hakatan, he says it means little angel in Hebrew. It's his nickname for you, and you like it a lot.

"What do you we do?" you ask fearfully.

"I don't want to stop dating you."

"Same."

"Then we'll keep dating," he decided. You nodded and smiled. You knew Bianca wouldn't be okay with that, but all that mattered was Adam.

Chapter 7

You heard arguing in the hallway. A group had formed around the two fighters. After recognizing Bianca's voice you pushed yourself through the other people and gasped at the scene before you. Bianca and Adam were glaring fiercely at each other and Adam had a nasty looking slap mark on his cheek.

"He's not a little boy," argued your boyfriend. "You need to stop babying him. Let him make his own decisions."

"Make his own choices? How is he supposed to do that when you've corrupted his mind?"

"If it weren't for me his mind would be shut down! You should be thanking me, not slapping me!"

"Why the hell would I thank you! He's barely even my little brother anymore! He's stopped caring about school work, his innocence is gone. You've ruined him. You've ruined everything!"

Adam's mouth moved, but no words managed to come out. Bianca gave a small smirk of victory and Adam backed away. Sadly, you had no more words than Adam did. You'd never seen Bianca be so mean before. It scared you. You hoped Adam didn't take the words to heart. You needed him. You loved him.

"Adam…" the word slid off your tongue slowly. It felt strange leaving your mouth. All the heads turned and looked at you. You felt like a rat caught in a trap. Your sister was ruining your life. You didn't understand it, and you certainly didn't like it.

Broken eyes turned to look at you and a sad smile graced his chapped lips. "Hey Nico," he whispered sadly. If you weren't surrounded by people then you would have ran over and hugged him.

"Nico," stuttered Bianca. You turned to her angrily.

"What the hell, Bianca?" Rage ones again took over her features.

"This is what I was talking about! You've started cussing, you've started taking things you shouldn't, and you make it pretty obvious that you don't still have your innocents!"

Murmurs broke through the crowd and you heard the word faggot used quite a few times. Adam had taught you the meaning of the word and you certainly didn't like it. Adam tensed further, and his hands clenched. You simply shook your head and walked away. You couldn't do this. She just pretty much told the school you were gay. You got bullied enough. Did she not realize that she had just ruined your life?

"Nico, wait!" she called after you. You sped up and then broke into a run when she tried to match your pace. When you reached the corner the cruel jokes began.

Chapter 8

You didn't even bother going to dinner that night. You stayed up in your bedroom sulking and waiting for one o'clock so that you could go see Adam. You remembered him saying that his roommate was homophobic so you were scared for Adam's sanity. Maybe the roommate wouldn't mind that Adam's gay since they're friends? You certainly hoped so. Bianca came up at some point and tried to convince you to go downstairs to eat. You shouted at her to leave you alone and pointed out all the ways she had ruined your life. She had walked away in a defeated manner. After that you had laid back down.

When night had come Bianca refused to let you leave the room. You stayed up all night waiting for her to fall asleep, but she sat in a chair in front of the door all night long.

Morning came and the halls were filled with a different type of gossip than you were expecting.

"Found him dead in room 6b," whispered a voice. 6b? That's the room you and Adam hung out in.

"It's no wonder he snapped. Poor guy."

"Faggot like him deserved it."

At this point you were really starting to freak out. What were they talking about? One of Bianca's friends whispered something to her and then she looked horrified.

"What have I done?" she whispered fearfully. "Oh my gosh…What have I done?"

You were starting to catch on. You scanned the halls for Adam, but didn't see him anywhere. Bullies came over and started teasing you, but it didn't even register. Where was Adam?

Bianca stood up and punched all of the bullies. Tears streamed down her face as she shook.

"Nico, I'm so sorry," she cried. "I didn't know this would happen. I-I wasn't thinking!"

"Where's Adam?"

"Nico…"

The principal stood up in front of all the students and sighed into the microphone. "I'm sorry to say that there has been a death among the students," he began. "His name was Adam Donivan and this morning he was found in room 6b with a rope around his neck." The principal continued, but you didn't hear a thing. A sob built in your chest and you buried your head in your hands. He was dead. Adam was dead.

Chapter 9

The funeral had taken place the next week. Most people didn't bother to go, and most people who did laughed at his grave. You didn't dare leave your room until you saw everyone else leave. When you knew the halls where bully safe you ran to the tombstone and wrapped your arms around it.

"Come back," you begged. "Please Adam. I'll stop the bullies. I'll keep them away. I don't know how, but I'll do it. I'll kill all them, just come back to me. Please come back." Your tears soaked the stone, and the sky overhead rumbled with thunder. Rain soaked your back and it wrapped around you like a warm embrace.

"Even now…Even now that you're dead…You're still trying to comfort me." A broken laugh slipped past your lips and soon turned hysteric. You rested your head on the ground where the coffin is and imagine him lying next to you. His form shimmered and was slightly transparent, but you still managed to make yourself believe that he was real.

You reached your hand up and gently stroked along his freezing face. "Hey Adam," you whispered softly. "I missed you." He smiled softly at that and wrapped his arms around you.

"I missed you too, mal'akhi hakatan." He gently muttered in return. "I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

Your eyes shot open and you quickly sat up. "Goodbye? Don't say goodbye! No. Don't go. I never came last night because Bianca wouldn't let me. I tried so hard to come. I really did." Your salty tears fell right through his face and wet the ground beneath him.

"I know you did, malach. I understand. You wouldn't have stopped me, though. I wish I could have said goodbye to you in person, but my death would have come either way. I'm not strong. You were all I had, and everyone else was determined to take you from me."

"I wouldn't have let them," you hastily replied. "I would have found a way to stop them! Besides, now I have nobody."

"That's not true," he soothed. He sat up and brushed his lips against yours. "You have Bianca. She did everything she did because she wants what's best for you. I would do anything to have a family member that cared. I saw how my dad reacted to my death. He considered suing the school for money, but then decided it wasn't worth it. I'm not worth anything to him. Cherish your sister. She loves you so much."

You cried and hugged him close. You knew he was right, but you weren't yet ready to forgive the one who had driven your love to suicide.

"Don't go," you begged.

He pulled you into a desperate kiss and his ghostly tears chilled your face. He shook his head.

"Nico, you need to let me go. You're all that's keeping me here. Let me sleep, Baby. I want to see my mom again."

After one final 'I love you' you allowed him to fade away. All that you had left of him was whole in your heart and an addiction pounding in your head. You were a broken angel.