AN: This is a drabble inspired by the words:
'Hell, Fire. Asphyxiation. Entity'
and the quote:
"I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do."
--
"Sirius! For fuck's sake, Sirius. Are you ready? Is your hair sufficiently curled?"
Sirius chuckled. He knew that voice almost as well as his own. The rich, gravelly tones of Remus' voice never ceased to excite him, a gentle tug in the base of his abdomen. A tug that kept him both grounded and flying.
"Sirius! Now that ruddy grey owl is back again! Can you just take the letter off its leg so we can go?"
Looking at his reflection he shook out his ebony curls, now reaching near to his waist; a fit of stubbornness to defeat Lily's demand that he 'tame that unruly mane once and for all' and cut them off. His grey eyes twinkled in the mirror as he listened to Remus huffing something about that 'ruddy owl'.
Leaving the bathroom he heard a crash in the kitchen and hurried through the bedroom to discover Remus waving his wand at the grey owl, who sat aloof atop the stove refusing to be tempted back towards the window.
Chuckling again, Sirius shook his head at Remus and walked over to the owl. It seemed familiar, a call to another life, one he hardly remembered. One, at least, he told himself he could not remember.
The owl hooted haughtily at him, its orange eyes sternly telling him to take the offered leg before something else occurred.
Orange eyes, something about orange eyes.. Mother?
Doubting himself, Sirius took the letter and the owl cuffed him over the ear with a wing as he flew towards the open window into the dark evening.
The parchment held just three words.
Regulus is dead.
Without even noticing, Sirius let the parchment flutter to the floor and become a fire that extinguished at his feet.
As if it were asphyxiation, the helplessness threatened to overwhelm him. His fists clenched on the side of the stove, hanging on for dear life as his soul choked him from the inside out.
There was a touch at his shoulder, a few murmured words.
"My Star. I am here."
That tug came, as hard as the first pull of a portkey. Sirius opened his mouth and dragged in a harsh breath before the first cry of grief was torn from his lips.
It was there, curled up in foetal position together on the floor by the stove that James found them.
Sirius opened one dull eye to see James' messy hair and half sad smile waiting for him.
"What the hell, Pads? Where were you? We waited an hour before Lily told me to just let myself in here, and I find you having a quickie on the kitchen floor?"
Shaking his head, Sirius untangled himself from Remus and sat leaning against the oven next to him. He repeated those three words from the parchment, knowing he had no need to elaborate to his boys.
Remus and James talked, discussing what might have happened to Regulus, but Sirius couldn't force his mouth to open.
Behind his now closed eyes he could see it happen, that dark entity 'Lord Voldemort', who none outside his followers had seen, towered over Regulus, a shadow looming over him with a muggle puppeteers strings. The Regulus in his mind shook and flailed, its mouth sewn shut and eyes pinned open. The Regulus tried to reach towards Sirius but the shadow twirled his strings until they wrapped the Regulus and suffocated the life from it.
"Sirius. We can't change it now. We can't undo what he did, you tried to save him."
"I know, Remus. And I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do."