I wasn't alive. I never choked in my first chilled breath, and I never opened my eyes to see the light of day. So why bring me back?
When I was born, I was killed. My mother instantly thought of me as worthless and murdered me in iced blood. Tomorrow will be the day I will get a second chance, but why must StarClan be so cruel?
I know that I will only be killed again. I know now that once a mother sees her child as useless, the kit will not survive. So why must her ancestors save the breath of repeating my fate?
I sat next to a frost-coated black tom, with brilliant blue eyes. We were gazing at a small stream in front of us, watching the water tickle our paws. I didn't know this tom, but I felt drawn to him. We didn't speak to each other until I grew irritable of his silence.
"Why am I going back?"
He was startled at my question, flinching and staring at me with confused eyes. He blinked, and flicked his ear. I could tell he hadn't spoken in a very long time because his extremely raspy mew.
"Don't you want to go back?" He replied, his voice cracking and crumbling as words rolled off his tongue.
My tail twitched slightly, my paws shuffling against the rich soil. Strips and strands of paper-thin blades of grass tickled my paw pads, causing my whiskers to twitch slightly.
"My fate would only be the same." I retorted simply, growing more annoyed by the tom's ignorance.
The tom only shook his head, his expression disappointed. Why must he by disappointed with me if I only said the awful truth? And why was StarClan forcing me into this? I must have a say in this as well.
The iced-over black tom bounded away, leaving me alone next to the stream. I sighed, and curled up to sleep. I knew I didn't need sleep in the afterlife, but it was nice sometimes to dream.
My dream was... Interesting, mostly confusing. I was lying down on my back, my eyes wide and frightened. A small cave hung over my head, along with two faces. A ginger tabby female, and an earthy charcoal tom. They both had ominous expressions on their faces.
I tried to rise to my paws, but it felt as if they were made of stone. Slowly, the she-cat raised an unsheathed paw, her expression turning almost murderous. The charcoal tom widened his eyes about to spring at the she-cat.
Everything was in slow motion. First, the she-cat's claws ripping open my flesh, causing me to howl silently in fear. When she cut me open, it didn't hurt as much as I thought. It felt very cold and wet, as blood sprayed across the cave ceiling. The second thing I saw was the tom bowling the female over, pinning her and digging his claws furiously into her throat.
My vision blurred, the movements around me becoming doubled and choppy. More cats came, yowling their throats out in pure rage and terror. The corners of my vision pulsed black, until every last bit was covered. I had blacked out, no, died.
I woke up with a start, my breathing heavy. She knew that was her death moment, but how could she see? She hadn't been able to see when it was real life.
Just then, a golden she-cat who was battle scarred and muscular padded over to her swiftly. "Come." She demanded sharply, and I struggled to get to my paws. I followed her through the starry trees of StarClan.
We stopped at a deep-looking pool, with stars reflected in them. Although, there are no stars in StarClan. The ancestors that roam there are the stars. I stared at the fierce warrior, opening my mouth to ask a question. Well, make that two.
Unfortunately, I was plunging down into the depths of the pool before a sound came out of my mouth. A light formed below me, lighting the bottom. Thought, there was no bottom. By the time I reached the light fully, I began to fall freely into the world.