This isn't a fic... it's basically a massive analysis on the line that Alice said to Danny in series 6 episode 4 and what I thought it meant.
I'll always need you
"I'll always need you."
One simple line; that's all it is. An utterance from Alice Trevanion as she stood in the arms of the man she was and always would be deeply in love with. But that line wasn't just a cute phrase, or a small gesture. It wasn't just a few words put in the right order. No that line told a million words, a thousand images and an infinite amount of memories. It was much more than just something she'd said... no; it held a sacred, special story.
It was her journey with Danny, her journey in Africa, her journey through life. It was how she had been and what she had now become. It was how she had changed, and how she had allowed things she never once could have allowed. It was how she was free and always would be, but how she'd learnt to share it with others. It was her independence and strength, and how dependence wasn't such a bad thing. That one line, had many things words couldn't describe, it had many meanings and many a story it could tell. It was one of the most important lines she'd ever let slip through her lips.
"I'll always need you."
Millions say it, thousands hear it, hundreds think it yet few mean it. But Alice did mean it, and that was why it was a big deal.
When she'd first arrived at Leopards Den, she could never have said those words. Never. Alice needed no one, only herself and her daughter Charlotte. She didn't depend on anyone, she never got attached. Alice had learnt the hard way what that did to people. She'd fell and been badly hurt and she'd vowed she would never do it again. She was independent, feisty, she could look after herself. It was obvious to the world how strong she was. She needed no man.
Leopards Den. A place sacred within her soul. She'd forever love that place, and she'd forever be grateful to the guide that led her there. But it had broken every rule she'd ever made, every vow she's ever made to herself, every dream that she had dreamt. It had broken down her barriers, it had broken down her attitude but most importantly it had broken down her inability to become close, her incapability to love anyone other than her daughter, her incapacity to stay in one place. She let herself go, gave herself away to the grasps of Leopards Den, the first place she had ever called home. She'd allowed herself to become attached.
She'd remembered love, she'd reclaimed love, she'd given herself away to love once again. Breaking yet another rule she'd made yet at the same time unlocking one more chain that kept her heart hidden away. She'd promised herself she would never believe in something she could not see, she told herself she would not trust something that was not physically in front of eyes. She'd tried refusal to believe in love. But the truth was, everyone in the world believed in love in one way or another. Everyone in the world fell in love at some point. Whether it be with a person, an animal or some sort of inanimate object. Every human being, every living thing, every part of the world; loved.
"I'll always need you"
It was all her emotions free to run. It was all her vows and half hearted promises finally broken. It was all the truth that was within her soul surfacing and flying free, soaring through the air. It was her finally admitting the things she needed, it was her finally realising what she craved. It was her finally having the guts to say it all out loud. It was her finally saying, "I love you" to that one special man.
Danny was the reason she did all that. Danny was the one who taught her that. Danny was the man who released her heart. Danny was the man who could tear her apart. Danny was the man, who she gave herself too. Danny was the man, she couldn't live without.
But she never could admit it, she never could let him know. She was still vulnerable. She was still scared. She still had barriers, and she still had her fears. She still was her own woman, she was still independent. She was still her own person, she was still broken.
"I'll always need you"
She pushed him away. He pushed her back. It seemed so unfair when she never came back. She didn't mean to. It was accidental. He never could, quite comprehend it. It wasn't his intention. It was Alice not coping, without her man. It was Danny, hitting the can. It was the hurtful words. The effect they had. The brave face she put on, and the secret breakdowns.
It was her realising she needed him back. It was him realising he couldn't live without her. It was Alice standing at his door. It was Danny shuffling his feet along the floor. It was her finally letting go. It was her finally saying I'm yours. It was her breaking her very last barrier, it was her clearing her very last hurdle. It was Alice saying, she needed her man. It was Danny saying, he'd forever be her man. It was an admittance she needed dependence, it was her admittance she didn't value independence. She only valued his love.
It was the proposal so nice and sweet. It was her saying I'm yours, I accept this life. It was him taking her to be his wife. It was her finally entering a true partnership, it was her accepting partner in her life, it was her allowing a man's grip on her path. Sealed with a kiss.
Their marriage soon came, together they stood. The newly moulded woman stood proudly with him, her hands clasped in his, her eyes consumed by his. It was the vows, she'd forever keep. The one's that had her full heart's belief. It was promises she'd never break. She now had a point, a purpose in life. She now had more than she'd ever had. Her daughter, her man, her family too. Everything was perfect.
The honeymoon came and she gave herself completely to him. She sealed the vows and promises she'd made, she locked the beliefs she never thought she would have made. He locked them deep within her heart in mutual pleasure. She and him, their new life together. He'd never been quite so in love, and she'd never felt so consumed by his love.
Their first hurdle arrived, but ready they were. Hand in hand, their battle pose, very different to the one she was previously prone. They were ready to take on the world, no one could stop them, they were there to serve. Serve the needs of one another. Promised themselves together forever. Life was the same, oh so hard. Yet life was different, easier, for Alice had the man who could see her through forever.
Shocks came of course they did, bad things happened and good things too. Near death experiences and a new career, but one thing was sure no matter what was near. As long as she had him, her handsome dear, she could get through anything life through at her for she knew he would to her adhere.
"I'll always need you"
That line was one big step for her. It proved one thing about her. She had overcome every barrier she'd once had. She was now a different woman. She was no longer alone, and no longer wished for that. She may still be a strong and vibrant Scottish lass, but Alice Trevanion had overcome her past.
Ok, I know this was uber random. But I was bored and to me that line held so much more than it appears to. To me, that line sums up a story and the journey Alice has made with Danny to get the relationship and values she has today. In case you didn't get it, as this was romanticised a bit and written in what some would consider a more old fashioned approach, it's basically how Alice has changed as a woman and the progress she's made from series four to series six.
Like I could never imagine her saying "I'll always need you" In series four and five as Alice couldn't allow herself to say that. I think series six and in particular this line shows how Alice has broken down her barriers and allowed herself to be in metaphorically speaking the hands of Danny, a position where he could crush her or make her.
So yeh, basically I found this line beautiful! Hope you get what I was trying to put across :')