Summary- When Edward left in NewMoon, he meant all the things he said to Bella. Edward and the Cullen's come back a few months later and Bella has changed physically and mentally- she's overweight and has a 'life isn't worth it anymore' attitude. Edward gets with Jessica, and Bella snaps out of her miserable life, and becomes determined to change everything about her new self to win Edward back.

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Bella POV

I sat at the lunch table, alone. I looked around as the voices of happiness, and laughter echoed around the room. I wondered what it was like to drop everything and laugh with friends. I hadn't done that in a long time. I was cable of it. I was capable of smiling and being happy, but I can't bring myself to do it.

What exactly is good about life anyway? I guess it varies from person to person. But my life, had a turn for the worst after the love of my life and the family of my dreams left me with my piteous self. Leaving me to sulk, leaving me to change.

Though, funny enough, the biggest pain I've felt throughout all of this are the words Edward said to me when he left. Though he left so many months ago, I can still hear the words he had spoken with so much sincerity and cruelty. Each time I think of them, it punches an ever lasting hole in my heart. And it hurts so bad, especially at night.

I'm not so upset that I want to die. But I just don't see the point in a life where nothing is good, where everything is the same day after the day, the same routines follow. Where there is no excitement.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Eric getting up with a fake look of being hurt on his face. Angela and Jessica were in fits of giggles, and I briefly wondered what they were talking about even though I would never ask them."Well then, I know when I'm not wanted," He acted, with a small smile pulling up on the edges of his mouth, and with that, he stormed out of the room. Even I knew he wasn't really upset. He was faking being upset to be funny or whatever. I hadn't faked anything in ages. Not even a fake smile.

To me, today was another day of life. Morning, school, afternoon, homework, dinner and bed. This cycle repeated every day. Nothing of so much importance changed this daily plan. It was all the same.

Before Edward. I didn't know I needed someone like him to love me. I thought I didn't need anyone to love me, or even take care of me. But after Edward left, I found out how stupid I was to not think about someone like Edward coming along. I need him. Now someone like him is the only thing I dream about. No, he's the only one I dream about.

But those dreams turn into nightmares, because when I think I see him, he's really just a cruel figment on my imagination. Someone like him doesn't come around twice. Love like that doesn't give second chances. You get what you get. I got almost a year with him, I should be happy.

Though, for him, he'd probably get any kind of love he wanted. He never moved forward, or changed, he's just beautiful, inside and out.

I looked down on myself. I had changed. My slim body with a lack of curves, had turned out even worse these past few months. I now was now fat. I had bigger curves yes- I'm a C cup- but of course you can't see that, because my stomach is as big as my breasts making me look flat chested. Everything is so uncomfortable. I had let myself go, majorly. My feeling towards food- not wanting to eat - had changed, and after a month I turned into the opposite of what I used to be. I ate all the time now.

And I didn't eat healthy foods either. For a while, no change in my body had taken place, I was still slim and I had thanked my fast metabolism for that. But after a while I realised most of the muscle I had was gone and replaced by fat. That's when my metabolism had started to slow down and I started putting on heaps of weight, and after I put on 30kg, I gave up on caring.

I gave up on caring about everything. My life, my health, my feelings, my attitude, Charlie. Nothing mattered. I looked at the table in front of me which was Jessica's table now, trying to distract myself from me. Eric was still gone out of the room, and Jessica, Lauren, Angela and Mike were now talking as friends did. I wondered if they were embarrassed of me. Of my appearance. Did I tell you I have a lot of pimples?

They tried to talk to me sometimes, though. It wasn't like they were ignoring me, it was the opposite, really. When they tried to talk to me, I either ignored them, moved, or said a brief, low 'hi' and didn't say anything else. I didn't like to be bothered. And when I say bothered I mean, talked too. I'd rather be alone.

My thoughts of my sad life were interrupted as someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Eric. His face had a small smile on it, but it was fake. His eyes said something different. He had something on his mind. I sighed, I didn't have time for his problems, he probably wanted something from me. Well, I wasn't in a state to give. Maybe, he might want to ask if I wanted someone to sit with. To me, that was worse than hearing his problems. I was content on my own, I don't need company.

I looked back down, maybe he would go away if I ignored him. Yes this was rude, but I didn't feel like talking, as I never did. "Bella," He taped me again. I sighed again, as I turned around to meet his burning eyes. He didn't hide anything from me this time. His face showed something this time, it was clearly displayed. It was worry. But it didn't look like the usual worry everyone had when they saw me, It was different.

Something had happened. "What?" I asked, rather rudely. Eric's face didn't fall one single bit, the worry stayed implanted onto his face. "Bella... we need to get out of here," He told me, obviously knowing he's treading on thin ice with me, he knew I didn't like to be talked to. What the hell is he on about?

"Get out of where?" I asked, clearly annoyed. "This school, I want to get you home... I don't think you should be here right now," He told me, I could see he was having trouble getting out his words without revealing too much.

"Why?" I questioned him sharply. "Just... that's not important, I'll tell you once we're out," He told me, trying to keep his desperation to a minim. I was actually really confused. This was odd. I didn't have many other emotions in my range anymore. I tried to keep the neutral depression thing usually. But confusion was new to me. Well, at least it felt new to me as it washed over my face.

"What's going on Eric?" I asked with a frown, as my eyebrows furrowed. Eric quickly turned around to the cafeteria door -that my vision was pointed in- to look at something that wasn't there, and turned back around exhaling a held breath of his. "Look, Bella... I can't tell you right now. But you need to get out of here, please trust me," He pleaded, his fingers lasing in front on him, wanting badly for me to trust him.

"Is it a life or death situation?" I asked getting bored of this charade. Eric could sense I was getting over this situation, and fast, and soon his presence would be nothing to me. "Not exactly, but-" I cut him off abruptly, "Then No," I said simply. I looked back down at the table hoping that now I've given him my answer, he'd go away. But knowing Eric, he wouldn't, but I at least hoped he'd take the obvious hint and go away. I didn't have to leave because he told me too.

"Please Bella, I'm begging you here, just say yes and come with me," He pleaded once more. I looked up at him again and sighed in frustration. I bit my lip angrily. I was getting angry now, but in a way it was something new. This didn't exactly happen everyday.

I didn't answer him. What could possibly be so bad he needed to get me out, but wasn't that bad to be a life or death situation?

Eric froze in front of me, his worried face deepening. He balled his fists as he sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry Bella, but I need to do this," He almost whispered I looked at him like he was crazy. What was he talking about now?

Eric grabbed my arm and hauled me up. I was shocked by his action. How dare he touch me! I hadn't touched anyone in ages, and he knew this. Plus I was fat, so it must have been a huge effort on his part. "What are you doing?" I whispered darkly. I wasn't happy and he knew it. Though, I knew he didn't care right now. He wanted to get me out of here for some strange, unknown reason.

The stubborn side of me kicked in as I realised I didn't want to be pushed around by Eric. He's not the boss of me. I snatched my arm from his grip. "Bella... please," He half turned around and then it was like everything was in slow motion. As soon as he had turned around he turned quickly back and grabbed my arm in attempt to haul me into the other direction away from the cafeteria entrance.

But it was too late. I had already seen what he was trying to protect me from. Eric attempted to turn me around but my solid and pudgy form wouldn't move for him. It wouldn't even move for me. I was frozen in this spot, and I felt like the whole world had stopped.

Eric then tried to wake me from my frozen form, but it was like he wasn't even there. I could feel him but the only thing I had eyes for was Edward. Edward is back.

Edward in all his glory walked casually into the room. His hair was beautifully windswept, and messy as usual, his were eyes golden and his posture loose and happy. Just like I had remembered. A small smile was playing onto his mouth. The sight of him nearly made me faint, but I stayed strong. He was just waltzing in here, as if he was here every day.

Everything in me prayed that everything Edward had said to me in the woods, was a lie. That he left for some stupid reason, and was here to ask me back. I didn't actually believe in that happening... but I wanted it so badly.

Edward was walking towards me. I didn't know what to do or say. Nothing made sense. Had I missed something? Am I missing something? Was he back? Why is he smiling? Am I the reason he is back? I could feel my hopes rising, and I was scared because I knew they would crash back down and I would be even sadder than usual if this didn't go how I wanted it to go, which it wouldn't. But never the less, my hopes were gaining some serious momentum.

Edward was now incredibly close- well closer than before at least. He was about 8 paces in front of me. I wondered briefly if this was all a nightmare. But as I felt the strain on my shoulder from Eric's pulling, I knew it was real. I know he's real. I released the breathe I was holding and took another long breath and held it again as Edward came closer. He was now so close I could nearly reach him if I put my hand out and stretched.

But I then noticed that his eyes hadn't actually touched me hadn't even reached my figure, or rested on me. He was looking straight past me. His eyes were distant. I don't even know if he had seen me. Where else- or who else- would he go to if he wasn't looking at me? I shook those thoughts out of my head. Of course he was here for me. He wouldn't just walk straight past me.

But to my serious dismay, he walked straight past me, as if I was nothing. He didn't even give me a glance, he didn't give me anything. I shook Eric off as I regained control of my body. Eric's wide eyes met mine as he tried to pull me to the exit again. Was he seriously trying to stop me from seeing Edward?

"Get off me" I snarled angrily. Eric looked at me with his deepest sympathies, and I wondered why as I turned around and saw Edward at Jessica's table. What was he dong there?

Edward tapped Jessica on the shoulder. She turned around and smiled brightly as he pulled her out of her seat and into his strong arms, and held her in one of his famous embraces. My jaw dropped. What the hell is going on? I looked at the sight in front of me, feeling as if I was going to break down sobbing, crying or just break down all together.

As if it couldn't get any worse, Edward stroked her face lovingly and I heard distant 'ooooo's and 'aww's echoing from around the whole cafeteria. Edward then pulled Jessica into a kiss. A passionate kiss that didn't end after 5 seconds. He never kissed me like that. I felt like I was a mental patient at this moment. I felt as though something had just instantly gone missing in my brain as Edward kissed Jessica. I thought I even felt one of my eyes twitch.

My brain couldn't comprehend the situation in front of me. After the kiss they shared was finally over, Jessica giggled as he kissed her on the top her nose, and another round of 'awws' erupted from their table.

Eric blocked my vision of Edward and Jessica before I could see anything else. I felt the sudden urge to push him harshly onto the floor and out of the way, but my body wasn't responding to any commands. "What...," is all I could manage to get out of my mouth.

"Bella... Edward and Jessica have been dating for a while out of school... I am so sorry no one told you, and I'm even sorrier you had to find out like this," He apologised. I nodded softly -as I found I was able to move again- as if I understood. But I didn't understand. This simple situation wasn't so simple for me. How was this even possible? Edward and Jessica? It doesn't seem right at all. But as the scene continued to play out in front of me, it obviously was.

Eric patted my shoulder softly, getting the hint that I wanted him gone, finally, and then walked over to the table that held the scene that ripped my heart out all over again. I had thought that Edward leaving me was bad. Well this was a hundred times worse.

I looked at Edward and Jessica as they stood in a slightly more causal position than what I had seen before. Edward's arms were around her waist as they faced each other talking about something I wasn't part of.

I eyed them both, especially Jessica. I know I probably looked like a stalker, but no one was looking at me. No one ever looked at me. I guess that was a good thing in this case. Jessica was everything I used to be, Edward wanted, and what I wanted.

I got a closer look on Jessica as I tried to look at just her. Jessica was gloriously thin- slender- her curves were all in the right places. No wonder Edward wanted her. She was always smiling. She was never depressed, shy or scared. Jessica is perfect. Why would I even think Edward would be here for me? He probably didn't even recognise me underneath all this fat and depression.

I didn't realise I was crying until I lifted my hand up to brush a strand of my hair of my face and felt the wetness all over my cheeks. I wiped my cheeks and then underneath my eyes, getting rid of all evidence of crying.

I suddenly realised something. Edward wasn't shallow. He wouldn't no like me, or anyone in that matter for their weight or looks. Edward just didn't like me. He had said so himself in the forest that awful afternoon so many months ago. He said I wasn't good enough for him, he said he didn't want me. Now it makes more sense.

My weight was just a contributing factor, as was Jessica's glorious body and looks, that drew him in, as well as her personality. I continued to stare at the scene in front of me in awe. I didn't want to look away, and at the same time I felt I had to look away, as my heart was slowly decomposing into nothing, again.

Edward's adoring face turned into the crocked smile I loved. I took in a sharp breath, as something wavered over me. I felt things changing in me. Something was very different now. The hot, sweaty and angry state of my body went cold, as a feeling washed over me. Correction, a bunch of feelings washed over me.

Confidence, strength, triumph, eagerness, courage and a whole lot of faith and determination. I will get him back. Whatever it takes. I'm going to change for him. I'll change back for him. I will change into whatever he wants. If the old me wasn't good enough for him, I'll be better. If he didn't want me, I'll work on that, I'll gain his trust and friendship, and he'll love me someday soon. Whatever he wants I'll be it. He loved me, I know he did. I will get him to love me again. Nothing will stop me. I love him, and only he, can make me truly happy. And I believe, only I can make him truly happy.

I'm going to do this for love.

Continue or not? Please review and let me know :)