It's the End of the World
Harry/Draco, Hermione/Ron, Pansy, Blaise [PG, 770 words]
Disclaimer: JK Rowling and co own everything. I'm writing for fun and not for profit.
A/N: unbeta'd and written for hp_may_madness using the prompt: zombies.
Summary: Draco has a very good reason why he wouldn't save Harry in a zombie apocalypse.
It's the End of the World
"Hypothetically, out of all of us, who do you think has the best chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse?" Blaise asked, giving the group a wicked smile as he set down his firewhiskey. The group of friends had gathered for their weekly dinner and were waiting for dessert when Blaise had asked the random question.
Well, everyone except for Ron, who frowned and spoke before he had finished chewing his food. "A zombie apocalypse? What's that?"
Hermione sighed, before flicking her wand to Vanish the food in Ron's mouth. "An apocalypse is a complete destruction of the world. In this case it's done by zombies, which are creatures similar to Inferi because they're both corpses, but zombies aren't controlled by Dark magic. Also, if you are attacked by one, it's pretty much guarantees that you'll turn into one, too, since there's no cure. You're pretty much better off dead than trying to survive in that type of world."
Ron shrugged and said, "Shouldn't be too hard to defeat, then, if all you have to do is Incendio the fuckers." He looked so pleased with himself that Harry had to bite down the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.
"Not if you were stripped of magic, as it is in most cases," Blaise began, but Pansy interrupted him.
"That's ridiculous! Why wouldn't there be magic?" Pansy said as she took a sip from her wine glass. Harry couldn't help but agree with her. After all, he couldn't imagine living in a world without magic, even if any type of apocalypse were to begin tomorrow. "Why are we even talking about this, Blaise?"
Blaise held up both hands as a gesture of defeat. "It's all hypothetical, Pansy, and I'm just curious to see how we would survive relying only on our skills." Pansy rolled her eyes.
"Since there's no magic, you'd have to know a lot about Muggle technology and weaponry," Harry said at last, sharing a grin with Hermione as the purebloods at the table remained silent.
Just as a waiter had finished serving all of them their dessert, Harry looked up to see Malfoy returning from the loo and gave him a smile. When he sat down, Blaise wasted no time in telling him about the zombies and asking him the same question. Malfoy stared at each person around the table, but had schooled his features so that Harry couldn't tell what he was thinking. Harry curled his fingers to keep himself from nervously tapping on the table since Malfoy was taking too long to answer.
"Ideally, we would all survive, because Granger would have found a cure before it all went pear-shaped," Malfoy said at last. Ron scowled at Malfoy as Hermione beamed. "Still, if I had to choose," he said, I think the correct order is Granger, me, Potter, Blaise, and it's a tie between Pansy and Weasley. Personally, I think Pansy would have a better chance at survival because she has Slytherin cunning which always trumps Gryffindor idiocy."
"What!" Ron cried out in outrage. "And who exactly helped save you in the Room of Requirement?"
Malfoy waved off Ron's words, saying, "Oh, sod off, Weasel. Granger would make sure that your arse is safe so that you can procreate to your heart's content when all this is over and the world needs more people."
Harry didn't think it was possible for Ron's face to turn any redder, but luckily Pansy chose that moment to continue their conversation.
"Okay, let's make this interesting. We all know Granger would save Weasley, but since you have the second best chance at survival, who would you save, Draco? Your best friend since childhood, or your boyfriend of two months?"
Harry was curious as he took a bite out of his treacle tart, but unlike before, Malfoy didn't hesitate to provide an answer.
"Pansy, darling, of course I would save you," Malfoy said, giving Pansy a smirk as Harry began coughing hard when the treacle tart went down the wrong way. His eyes watered as grabbed the glass of water and took huge gulps that spilled more on his shirt than went down his throat. He felt Malfoy reach out and pat him on the back a few times, purposely not using a wand, until Harry was no longer struggling to get air in his lungs.
"See? That's why I'd choose to save Pansy." Harry looked up in time to see Draco point at him and say, "Usually third time's the charm in so many things, but where Potter is concerned, cheating death shouldn't be that hard, even without magic."