Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager belongs to Paramount Pictures
Author's notes: This story is a little different from a lot of the other ones so I hope you enjoy it.
Abandoned
Dear Perry,
My dear sweet little girl there is so much I have to tell you and so very little time to explain the years of decisions I've made. Some I don't know how I found the strength, others I will never escape the guilt and very few I consider to be accomplishments. I gave up on one thing and one thing only through out my life...Love. I thought I was too strong to depend on such an unpredictable emotion. I was wrong. A few months ago I thought love wasn't worth the fight; I was wrong.
I sit here watching you sleep. Your chest rises and falls with such ease. It gives me peace to know that your slumber is only accompanied by delicate sweet dreams and problems don't cloud your precious head. You have spent such a brief time here with me. A mere two months. I hope one day you will understand why I have to do this. There was so much that I wanted to teach you, so much I wanted to warn you against but I am given but borrowed time to express a lifetime of knowledge.
I wish I could give you all the reasons why I have to leave. All I know is that I have to do this for you. Before you were born, I thought I could raise a child on my own and be all the parent you would ever need. The startling revelation came to me the first night I brought you home. I was so afraid and you were so fragile. Your hands and feet were so small and your safety was solely in my hands. I knew I couldn't give you the home and love you needed, that you deserved.
The only advise I can give you, my darling, is that when love is right in front of you, don't let it out of your sight. True love is so rare that it should be cherished. I let love slip through my fingers. I was given so many chances to be happy but I refused to succumb to it. Your father never forgave me for playing with his emotions for all of these years. He will never be the same man because of me. His heart is tattered and torn from the years.
I haven't told him about you. I didn't know how to. The last time I saw him was 11 months ago at a Voyager reunion. I was foolish and went with him to his apartment. I still, to this day, don't know why I followed him that night. I have since realized how affectionate and truthful he has always been and that once again; I walked away from all I have ever wanted. My dear Perry I pray that one-day you will forgive me. I love you good-bye.
Kathryn
* * * * * *
Kathryn sealed the letter and placed it into an envelope with another letter .She had signed the letter 'Kathryn' for so many reasons. She knew, or at least convinced herself, that she didn't deserve to be Perry's mother; so she never referred to herself as so. She had finally hit the bottom and every second; she became more and more consumed by depression. She loved Perry more than she could ever express but she had to run away; she couldn't ruin another person's life not again. Kathryn placed Perry in a basinet with two handles on either side. She was rapped in a pink blanket and had a matching hat. Perry very much resembled Kathryn. And her father for that matter. Her hair was a dark brown like his and her facial features were bold and vivid like Kathryn's. Perry also adorned vibrant blue eyes.
The rain drenched the landscape and pounded with fierce power. Kathryn made her way towards a house and delicately placed Perry near the entrance. She rang the bell and made her way into the rainy night.
* *
* The doorbell rang and B'Elanna walked to the front of the house to open the door. She expected to be greeted by a person but to her surprise no one was there. She pocked her head out into the street and saw no one. She would have closed the door, if she hadn't have heard Perry start to cry. B'Elanna instinctively picked the baby up and cradled her in her arms.
"Tom, come quick."
Tom ran down the hall and turned the corner to the front door. He was dumbfounded by the sight of B'Elanna cradling a crying baby.
"What is this all about?"
"I don't know, I heard the door bell ring and no one was there. I was about to close the door when I saw this little one lying in a basinet."
"Did she have a note with her or a letter or anything?"
"I haven't had time to look. Check in the basinet."
Tom fumbled through the basinet and eventually came to an envelope. He opened it and read the letter addressed to him and B'Elanna.
Dear Tom and B'Elanna,
This is my daughter Perry. I'm sorry for not telling you about her. I am trusting you with her life. Please try to understand why I am leaving her with you. I know she will be loved and be in good company. I cannot give her the life she needs. I have enclosed a letter for her. Please give it to her one-day.
Kathryn Janeway
Tom's face showed nothing but shock as he finished reading the letter. He turned to face B'Elanna, hoping she would have some answers, but she knew no more than he did. He closed the door behind him and they made their way into the house to try and make some sense of what had just happened.
Author's notes: This story is a little different from a lot of the other ones so I hope you enjoy it.
Abandoned
Dear Perry,
My dear sweet little girl there is so much I have to tell you and so very little time to explain the years of decisions I've made. Some I don't know how I found the strength, others I will never escape the guilt and very few I consider to be accomplishments. I gave up on one thing and one thing only through out my life...Love. I thought I was too strong to depend on such an unpredictable emotion. I was wrong. A few months ago I thought love wasn't worth the fight; I was wrong.
I sit here watching you sleep. Your chest rises and falls with such ease. It gives me peace to know that your slumber is only accompanied by delicate sweet dreams and problems don't cloud your precious head. You have spent such a brief time here with me. A mere two months. I hope one day you will understand why I have to do this. There was so much that I wanted to teach you, so much I wanted to warn you against but I am given but borrowed time to express a lifetime of knowledge.
I wish I could give you all the reasons why I have to leave. All I know is that I have to do this for you. Before you were born, I thought I could raise a child on my own and be all the parent you would ever need. The startling revelation came to me the first night I brought you home. I was so afraid and you were so fragile. Your hands and feet were so small and your safety was solely in my hands. I knew I couldn't give you the home and love you needed, that you deserved.
The only advise I can give you, my darling, is that when love is right in front of you, don't let it out of your sight. True love is so rare that it should be cherished. I let love slip through my fingers. I was given so many chances to be happy but I refused to succumb to it. Your father never forgave me for playing with his emotions for all of these years. He will never be the same man because of me. His heart is tattered and torn from the years.
I haven't told him about you. I didn't know how to. The last time I saw him was 11 months ago at a Voyager reunion. I was foolish and went with him to his apartment. I still, to this day, don't know why I followed him that night. I have since realized how affectionate and truthful he has always been and that once again; I walked away from all I have ever wanted. My dear Perry I pray that one-day you will forgive me. I love you good-bye.
Kathryn
* * * * * *
Kathryn sealed the letter and placed it into an envelope with another letter .She had signed the letter 'Kathryn' for so many reasons. She knew, or at least convinced herself, that she didn't deserve to be Perry's mother; so she never referred to herself as so. She had finally hit the bottom and every second; she became more and more consumed by depression. She loved Perry more than she could ever express but she had to run away; she couldn't ruin another person's life not again. Kathryn placed Perry in a basinet with two handles on either side. She was rapped in a pink blanket and had a matching hat. Perry very much resembled Kathryn. And her father for that matter. Her hair was a dark brown like his and her facial features were bold and vivid like Kathryn's. Perry also adorned vibrant blue eyes.
The rain drenched the landscape and pounded with fierce power. Kathryn made her way towards a house and delicately placed Perry near the entrance. She rang the bell and made her way into the rainy night.
* *
* The doorbell rang and B'Elanna walked to the front of the house to open the door. She expected to be greeted by a person but to her surprise no one was there. She pocked her head out into the street and saw no one. She would have closed the door, if she hadn't have heard Perry start to cry. B'Elanna instinctively picked the baby up and cradled her in her arms.
"Tom, come quick."
Tom ran down the hall and turned the corner to the front door. He was dumbfounded by the sight of B'Elanna cradling a crying baby.
"What is this all about?"
"I don't know, I heard the door bell ring and no one was there. I was about to close the door when I saw this little one lying in a basinet."
"Did she have a note with her or a letter or anything?"
"I haven't had time to look. Check in the basinet."
Tom fumbled through the basinet and eventually came to an envelope. He opened it and read the letter addressed to him and B'Elanna.
Dear Tom and B'Elanna,
This is my daughter Perry. I'm sorry for not telling you about her. I am trusting you with her life. Please try to understand why I am leaving her with you. I know she will be loved and be in good company. I cannot give her the life she needs. I have enclosed a letter for her. Please give it to her one-day.
Kathryn Janeway
Tom's face showed nothing but shock as he finished reading the letter. He turned to face B'Elanna, hoping she would have some answers, but she knew no more than he did. He closed the door behind him and they made their way into the house to try and make some sense of what had just happened.