Disclaimer: I do not own FFX or the characters involved.
This is introspective, and definitely Wakka x Lulu. I'm rather new to the fandom but I liked the dynamic between the two characters. This is set during the game, before the group meets with Rikku but after they meet with Auron. Hopefully that clears up any questions.
It started a year ago, when Chappu had joined the Crusaders to battle Sin. Wakka still remembers that time, returning to Besaid only to find his younger brother leaving so soon. He's grateful that they had a good relationship overall, but he's especially grateful that for the most part they reconciled before Chappu died. Wakka wonders if that's part of Sin's nature--to eat the sins of mankind, to cause endless regret. Wakka can't really regret Chappu though. It would be too cruel to wish his own brother had never existed, even though it seems that all he does is haunt him these days. Instead Wakka tortures himself daily over the village shrine ritual. If they had stopped, if they had prayed, if Chappu had missed the boat…
Sin is all encompassing. Wakka knows this to be true, figuratively and literally. The sins of the past carry over to the world of today. The echoes of the destruction of Zanarkand still sound through the ages. Tidus is here, after all. In a way, what was lost has now been found. Even though it hurt just to look at him at first, Tidus was so distinctly not Chappu that Wakka found he had no trouble distinguishing the two. Lulu, however, saw differently.
Sometimes Wakka is grateful that Tidus showed up when he did, because as long as there was a so much more powerful reminder of Chappu, Lulu would actually look at him without seeing someone else. But she's so deep in denial that for the longest time she insists that it is Wakka who sees his brother in Tidus's place. He doesn't deny it. At times he sees his brother in Tidus's eyes and aches for the little boy he used to protect, but that doesn't mean he can't also see that Tidus is very much his own self, capable in his own right. After all, Chappu never played blitzball like that.
Lulu likes to insult Wakka about that too. She claims that the only thing on his mind is blitzball, even though she knows it's not true. She has no idea how untrue it is though. If she only knew how much she crosses his mind. Sometimes he thinks that his love would frighten her, drive her away from him. For all of her prickly exterior, she is still so very fragile. The death hit her harder than any of them can imagine, of that Wakka is certain.
Sometimes Wakka is grateful that Lulu didn't seek comfort from him after his brother's passing. He's not sure he could have given it, grieving as he was. He's not sure he could have controlled himself. Before and even after his brother's declaration to make Lulu his wife, Wakka loved her. He always regretted not having the courage Chappu did, the courage to say something about his feelings. If he had gotten to her first, things could have gone so differently. Maybe he would have lived, maybe they would have been happy together, maybe Lulu would look at him and not through him.
But most times, Wakka would not change a thing about his life. Yes, his brother is dead. Yes, the woman he cares for sometimes won't even look at him. Yes, their group is a chipped and worn cobbling together of many parts. But those moments when Lulu eyes him with a bemused or serious or even scornful expression lets him see beyond his past to the present day situation. And it's looking pretty good actually, especially considering that as long as Tidus is around, Lulu will actually meet his eyes.
Thank you for reading, and feel free to leave a review.