Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach...Hehehe
A/N: I wrote it simply for fun...and that I had to write it before my major exam takes all of my functioning brain cells. Hope you enjoy...though obviously it sucks...a constructive criticism is much appreciated.
Blaming Thumbelina
It's one of those ordinary days in the Kurosaki household. The regular hollow abolition, the usual bickering and physical pain affliction by the Kurosaki men, and last but not the least, the habitual exchange of biting comments between the two shinigamis, usually ending them both in a very embarrassing state.
"I wish I had a little child of my own."
"What?!" Irises nearly devoured their pupils as the orange-spike haired boy burst out. Ichigo nearly broke a neck as he spun his head at the little mind boggling phrase of his companion, who's currently lying on his closet. Rukia's almost permanent residence in his home by the mere evidence of an additional bed in his sister's quarters never stop her from claiming her position in his closet, insisting that she already brought few stuffs to decorate his small closet.
"What what?" Rukia peeked behind her held book, slightly annoyed by his sudden eruption.
"What did you say?" He felt quite shoddier as he stood in front of his closet, eyebrows furrowed even deeper.
"Eh? I never said anything, idiot. Take my advice then go and see a doctor. You're probably hearing things." Typical Rukia, smirking and shrugging him off as she resumed her reading… victory's obviously hers. Can't he just win in a single argument even for just once?
Letting his nerves get the best of him, he yanked the book from Rukia, totally ignoring her icy glare.
"Hey!"
"I need a fuckin' answer here, dope. And I won't stop 'til you give one." He returned the stare, defiantly. The latter seemed unfaltering and he could feel she's about to blow any minute, judging from her growing reiatsu.
"What the hell are you reading anyway?" He swiftly added as he scanned the cover. Letting his scowl broke into a grin.
"Thumbelina? Where did you get this?" He let his eyes travel from the book back to Rukia and noticed for the first time that her skirt's riding up her thighs.
"Yuzu's." She's staring at him, really hard.
"Yeah I remember… whatever." Throwing back the book which literally hit her on the knee, Ichigo hid his face, praying to all saints that she'd notice anything but the blush.
To his luck, Rukia was too consumed with her own flared up condition as she stared at the back of his head… her eyes appeared steamy. How dare he?!
She hopped off her space and planted a foot at the base of his neck.
"Gaaaah!"
They both fell, her legs straddling his waist, his face flat on the floor. She lifted his head by grabbing a fist of his hair as she declared victory.
Little did they know, the other Kurosakis heard the whole commotion from the other side of the door.
"She'll make a perfect wife for my son." Isshin croaked and snickered. Karin, after being literally dragged by her innocent sister and her perverted old man, had to stomp her father's head several times, practically annoyed by his ridiculous impersonation of a certain toad on some stupid tale. Yuzu felt really ecstatic to hear more and hushed her sister and father, beckoning them to stand by the door.
"Now bastard." She hissed, her hot breath tickling his ear.
"Since you obviously lack an alibi for interrupting my peaceful moment, I reckon you'll be reading the whole thing to me for a change."
"Hell no!" He protested, still working his way out of their position but Rukia's ahead of him. She pinned his hands behind his back, sitting on them, now really adding another pissed off expression plus a throbbing vein on his face.
"Damn you stupid little bitch! Get off me!"
Pretending she never heard him, she continued.
"But before anything else." She lifted herself from him, letting him lay on his back.
"Freakin' dwarf." He gruffly hissed, really exhausted and quite disappointed to himself. The creepy bitch actually pinned him!
Much to his discomfort, she sat right on top of him. Her thighs, his momentary torture, came bugging his senses, a complete tormenting image for his eyes. He desperately directed his gaze to her face, anywhere but there.
God, how I wish that I'm blind!
"Alright, now that I'm comfortable…." Rukia started.
'Lucky you... Am I in a guillotine?'
"…and that I have your attention…"
'You could have been more specific'
"What do you think? I mean, how does it feel like having a child of your own?"
'In this state, I won't mind giving you the real answer sooner.' His perverted side came prancing about. Damn it!
"Uh I don't know. Ask dad, I guess." He stuttered, really uncomfortable with their conversation and position. Damn that skirt! A little higher and his body will soon betray him.
"Besides if you marry Toushiro, you won't have a problem dealing with the expenses. You'll probably have a bean for a baby. Haha! That's too precious! Oof!" his already stinking sock corked his offending mouth, thanks to the Queen of Ice.
"What if it's your child, Ichigo?" He felt really gagged right now, spewing off his sock as he looked at her, eyes round as saucers.
"Would his expenses and needed care bother you that much?" Seriousness evident in her tone, she looked at him as if she's taking an interview for his job application. Is this included in a Miss Universe question and answer portion?
"Of course, dope. Nothing's cheap when you start a family. Why do you ask anyway?" Maybe if the two of us get married and have a child, I'll give him the very best this world could give… I wouldn't mind the expenses.
"Oh, I see. I'm just curious that's all. Besides I read a line that is something to do with that question from the book." She smiled, a flick of sadness came and disappeared in a brief matter of seconds, then she stood up and climbed back to his closet.
'Insensitive blond monkey.' She added to herself, getting all cozy on her previous sanctuary.
Standing up, he dusted off his pants and scratched his head, heading straight to her space.
For the second time that day, he yanked the book from Rukia, who seemed about to pounce on him again.
"You win, midget. I'll read the damn thing to you. Now I don't wanna hear a word...just sit close to me and listen. If my family heard me telling you some stupid tale, I probably won't hear the end of it." He scoffed as he dragged his feet to the direction of his bed and sat down, his back leaning on the wall.
He smiled inwardly when she made herself comfortable beside him, her head on his lap. He read the story in a tone only she could hear and she would ask so many questions, most of them are plain and stupid just to piss him off. When he's about to read the last phrase, he took it in that she's sound asleep. He couldn't help but smirk and close the pages of the book.
"My Thumbelina." He softly whispered as he clasped her proximal hand. Then he let his eyes close as he drifted into sleep.
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Isshin opened the door, its creaking noise echoing along the hall. Karin sighed; she'll beat the crap out of her father once this is over. The three peeked inside and had to suppress their laughs. They shut the door, quietly this time and left, all bouncing happily. Karin, who tagged along behind the other two, smiled. Mom will be so proud of you, Ichi-nii.