Author's note: I do not own Harry Potter or The Boyfriend List. Now enjoy the story!
Hogwarts Boyfriend List
Name - who they received it from.
It is I, Sirius Black, age 17, here to initiate the Hogwarts Boyfriend List. I read a fascinating Muggle book over the summer and thought "Hey, why doesn't Hogwarts have one of these?" So I decided to make one. Fill it out and pass it on!
Sirius Black - started the Boyfriend List.
Girlfriends: Too many to count.
Boyfriends: I'm a ladies' man, through and through, thanks.
James Potter - Sirius Black, best friend.
Girlfriends: Lily Evans, my one and only. We're going to get married and have a baby boy named Harry. Fo' shizzle, my home skillet biscuit. :) Peter lent me a book of Muggle slang over the summer.
Boyfriends: Well, Moony and I came close once, 1st year. We don't like to talk about it.
Peter Pettigrew - James Potter.
Girlfriends: None, unfortunately. Maybe this is why James thought it would be funny to send it to me.
Boyfriends: Umm...
Remus Lupin - Peter Pettigrew.
Girlfriends: None so far. My studies are far more important. Besides, I'm a werewolf. No time for girls in this old boy's schedule, I'm afraid.
Boyfriends: Prongs and I had an experiment my 1st year. Bad times...
Nymphadora Tonks - husband, Remus Lupin, who kept it all these years.
Girlfriends: Had a friend once who I was with...Anna, I think her name was. I set her bottom on fire, I did. No, literally. We never spoke after I extinguished the fire and she stormed out.
Boyfriends: Kingsley and a few other Aurors. Of course, I end up marrying the love of my life, Remus Lupin. He's funny, smart, and everything else good in life. :)
Harry Potter - Nymphadora Tonks.
Girlfriends: Cho Chang, almost Hermione Granger, and finally my current girlfriend, Ginny Weasley.
Boyfriends: None, of course. I'm no Lance Bass.
Ron Weasley - Harry Potter, best friend.
Girlfriends: Lavender Brown, and Hermione Granger, my current almost girlfriend.
Boyfriends: I peeked at Harry once or twice when we showered back in sixth year. That's all, I swear, mate! Just some troubled times...
Hermione Granger - Ron Weasley, best friend.
Girlfriends: None, of course. Though I've read these "fanfictions" before, and I am astounded at the amount of girls who I've been paired up with. Honestly...
Boyfriends: Well, there was that guy who almost beat Ron for Keeper who I went to a party with, whose name escapes me. Harry and I tried it once. It didn't work out. Ron Weasley is my current almost boyfriend though. Only he better get a move on. It annoys me so that he's waited this long when he's obviously been in love with me since...well, forever.
Ginny Weasley - Hermione Granger, best girl friend.
Girlfriends: None.
Boyfriends: Harry Potter, of course. And for those of you who think you have a chance with him (yeah, I'm talking to you Mary Sues out there), you better get some help, because you're being bloody delusional.
Draco Malfoy - found it in the hallway.
Girlfriends: I don't count. I'm bloody gorgeous. I don't need a girlfriend count to prove that.
Boyfriends: None, though I am sure I spotted Weasley checking out my buttocks in the shower on more than one occasion. Hmm...
Fred and George Weasley - stole it from Draco Malfoy.
Girlfriends: Millions! Billions! Trillions!
Boyfriends: We don't roll that way, sorry.
Luna Lovegood - found it at Bill and Fleur's wedding.
Girlfriends: None.
Boyfriends: None. Love is evil.
Neville Longbottom - Luna Lovegood.
Girlfriends: None. I'm ugly as hell, everybody knows that.
Boyfriends: You're kidding me, right?
Lavender Brown - stole it from Neville Longbottom's seat in Potions.
Girlfriends: I kissed Parvati once as an experiment once, but I've never had a real girlfriend.
Boyfriends: Plenty. I am, after all, the queen of all Hogwarts gossip.
Parvati Patil - Lavender Brown, best friend.
Girlfriends: Kissed Lavender once. I'd never do it again...she tastes like cheese.
Boyfriends: I went with Harry Potter to the Yule Ball 4th year. That makes up for all the boyfriends I've had.
Severus Snape - confiscated from students.
Girlfriends: None, but Lily Evans was an almost. How I loved her. Little rainbows popped up when she walked by, and the house elves did a jig when she spoke.
Boyfriends: None, not that I don't find men appealing. Those magazines have gotten me through a lot, after all. :)
Sibyll Trelawney - Severus Snape.
Girlfriends: None.
Boyfriends: None. Just leave me alone. :(
Albus Dumbledore - "borrowed" it from Professor Trelawney, end of Boyfriend List.
Girlfriends: A cat once, though it just turned out being Minerva playing a trick on me. Sneaky bitch...
Boyfriends: I do remember being in love with a sock named Marty once upon a dream, but alas...it ended when Marty shriveled up in the wash.
What did you think? This was my first attempt at a humor story, so be easy on me!
The original story was supposed to be a chapter for each character with stories for each girlfriend and boyfriend.
Update: I decided to continue and extend the story! Yay! I'll be doing Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom. :) It's not so much, considering Luna and Neville don't date at all, but just to not seem so lazy, I added them anyway. :D