Everyone was going on a road trip to get to Nymphadora and Ginny's super duper amazing wedding at Sea World , with a reception taking place at a One Direction concert held at the Amway Stadium. The two women had already gone ahead to Sea World to help get everything ready.
They were all riding in a limo that Dobby had hijacked,and Sybil was driving.
As Sybil zig-zagged between lanes and running every red light, she steadily smoked a pack of Camel mumbled about Einstein's Theoryy of Relativitey.
In the passenger seat sat Gilderoy Lockheart.
"Peasents," he yelled sharply, "When shall we be arriving at this, World of Seas? May I remind you that I have an amazing sea performance planned out, which involves me using the full scope of my INCREDIBLE magical talent and intellect? Do you have any idea what I can do with the giant sharks and dolphins they keep there? It will be a truly memorable evening. Now all I have to do is plan my act for the reception. My amazing magical abilities shall be what makes the reception beautiful." Sybil sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Just chill bro," she sighed, "we'll get to Sea World, when we get to Sea World." Horace Slughorn suddenly shoved his face in front of Gilderoy's.
"Dude, do you have ANY ideaa how many sharks, dangerously deep pools, slippery floors, and deadly jellyfish are at Sea World? That's some scary shit man! Then we have to go through Downtown Orlando for the reception, IN THE SCARY DARK! Do you have ANY idea how many jay-walkers are in that area?! They don't even know how to jaywalk! They even jaywalk with babies in strollers!" Horace continued shaking an annoyed Gilderoy's shoulders. Suddenly the limo's roof door opened and Molly Weasley popped her head into the limo.
"Ugh, Sybil," she said with a valley girl accent, "smoking is like, soo bad for your health, Gileroy, Sea World is overrated. Wet and Wild is where the fun is at! Horace, quit being a pussy man."
"Horace," Minerva whined, "my boob is sore from my morning jog, could you please give them a massage?" Horace looked back while keeping an eye on the road.
"Now now Minerva," he said, "can't you see we're going into the depths of Hell known ad Orlando Florida?"
"Wow," Molly chirped, "it looks like Horace is mising out on getting some tonight~."
Dolores Umbridge slapped her free hand on her lap while the other hand held an iPhone.
"Fellow matrimony ceremony attendees, please close your oxygen emission areas while my eyes are injesting this fine piece of pornographic footage which contains a large amount of bondage, NTR, and a rather tasteful narration by Morgan Freeman." she requested.
"Oh my gosh Minerva," Lucius Mcfloy chirped, "Our song is on~" Minerva sat with Lucius as she rubbed her own breast.
"Oh my gosh, I love Hot Problems!"Minerva shouted. Afterwards they listened to Dragonforce while playing air guitars because they'd never be able to master the real instrument. Sybil on the other hand could play Dragonforce songs with ease.
Remus Lupin and Rubeus Hagrid had been involved in a armed robbery together and were hiding in the limo's trunk..
"Molly," a voice chimed from outside, Molly swung up and saw Luna Lovegood on the roof of the limo in only her undergarments with an empty bottle of booze in one hand. Her face was as red as a tomato."Can you see if anyone has any beer down there?" As she said this, Dobby stood, wearing all black, shooting a gun at trees.
Meanwhile back in the limo, Fred Weasley rocked back and forth, bitting his thumb while holding his phone."Damn it, All I can get this GPS to do is speak Korean, tell me where the tje nearest ghettoes are, sing opera in French, or play "Gangnam Style" . What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!" he said before beginning to heave deep breaths as he sobbed.
George sat next to him, curled in a ball crying" I don't care about Nymph and Ginny's wedding! I just want to go home! All of these guys are scaring me."
"I agree," Fred whined, "FUCK THIS GPS,FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THERE YOURSELVES!" he yelled before throwing the phone at Bellatrixe Lestrange's headas she mumbbled about her inadequacy.
In this trip the cast faced such difficulties as having to constantly beg Luna to keep her clothes on when they made stops, many people calling the cops on Dobby, and Molly saving a dog and calling it Draco.
Going to Walmart to restock on things quickly became a PITA when everyone went to do their own thing in the store, hour long bathroom reaks, Sybil escaping the cops for the crimes half the people in the limo had commited. Finally Sybil crashed the limo into a bush in front of Sea World and everyone ran in just in time for the wedding.
Soo, Um, hi everyone! This began as a part of a fic of a show I've actually seen. I took that story, found names of popular Harry Potter Characters, and justdropped them in and am letting you guys judge just how bloody retarded this whole thing is. MAybe it wasn't that retarded and it gave you a good chuckle at least? Either way, the bright side is that looking through the bio of these characters has me recognizing that this series might not be as dorky as I once thought it was, and I therefore may read the books soon. (As of now I've not read the books, and the few mobies I've seen I saw too long ago to remember much.
-Sigh- but I know some people might get majorly butthurt from this "abomination," so I apologize for hurt feeling, but I do not apologize for this experiment, because it might get me to finally give Harry Potter a chance.
#NoRegrets.