Just so you know...
Ichigo: Captain of 5th division
Renji: Captain of 9th division
Err...yea that's basically all you guys have to know, almost everything's the same...oh and the 3 aren't in 13th Division anymore
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN BLEACH AT ALL!!! and that's really obvious
Darkness had Seireitei in its grasp. No, Seireitei hadn't been taken over by some crazy lunatics wanting to take over the world. It was simply nighttime, where everyone was sleeping…or were they really? It seemed quiet enough, no sound resounded throughout Soul Society, heck snores couldn't even be heard. However this peace was short-lived as something came through during the night, no one knew who or what it was…
Soft scratching and trilling noises could be heard throughout 3 girls' apartment. Tori who usually was a deep sleeper woke up to the noise. She sat up and looked around as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She heard the soft scratches and automatically assumed it was Daichi tossing and turning as usual. She flopped back down onto her pillow and tried to sleep again. The scratching noise continued and seemed more 'violent'. She figured that either Daichi was doing aerobics in his sleep or it wasn't the chimera at all. Well after much pondering and finally deciding that the chimera wasn't doing tae-bo or something she got up to investigate. She grabbed her zanpakutou and searched for whatever it was. After a while she concluded that it was probably one of Mika's pets or something…that is until she heard a little gurgle noise.
"Who's there?" She asked a little frightened. The gurgling went on and seemed to be…louder than before. She stood up and bolted for the door not caring if she made a huge noise, all she knew was that something had entered her home.
"Mika!!" Tori whispered and shook Mika's arm. Mika was a deep sleeper, a really deep sleeper. She needed an air horn to be woken up instead of the traditional alarm clock.
"Ehn…" She groaned and turned her back to Tori.
"Mika!!" she said louder and grabbed a pillow and whacked her on the head. That didn't work so she went to Plan B. "Dot, dot, line, line, spiders crawling up your spine…" Tori chanted quietly as she poked Mika's back sending shivers up her spine.
"What?!" Mika finally awoke and asked the…wall…
"I'm here Mika…" Tori said.
"Oh what's up?" She yawned.
"There's something in here" Tori quickly said.
"Yeah…me you, Rina, Nariko, my 2 moose, the table, a lamp, a blowtorch, a penny—hey look a penny!" Mika pointed at the shiny object on the floor.
"No I mean something else is in our house" She restated.
"Really?" She asked stretching out her body.
"Yeah it's somewhere right now though, what should we do?" She asked.
"I dunno I'm too lazy to move my butt right now, go ask Rina or something" She said lying back down.
Suddenly both girls heard the little noise.
"Tori was that you?" Mika asked looking up. She shook her head with a scared face.
"…Rina!!!!" The two screamed out running towards her room. They automatically shook her, whacked her with pillows, and did anything that would wake her up.
"WHAT??!!" She yelled out grumpily.
"There's something here!!" They yelled out in unison.
"…like what?" She asked.
"I dunno it sounds like R2D2 but moves like a rat" Mika described.
"Uh huh…maybe it's a robotic rat that some idiot snuck into our house" Rina stated.
"Ohhh…"
While the 3 agreed on this something furry entered the room. Bright piercing red, green and blue eyes cut through the darkness. They approached the 3 stealthily and quietly, they didn't notice until they nudged them.
"KYYAA!!!" Tori yelped and jumped onto Rina's bed. "BOUNCY BED!!" She hollered out causing Mika to jump up.
"Uh…" Rina said unable to say what she really wanted to say. "What do you guys want?" She asked the wolf, bat and chimera.
"You know how Seireitei put up those rules for pets?" Hiroshi started.
"Yeah…"
"Well you see we found something…" Daichi added on.
"What?" Mika asked getting interested.
"It's really disturbing and it frightens us, are you sure you want to know?" Isamu asked flying around Mika's head and then landing on it.
"Sure it can't be that bad" Mika said.
"…Moosie…" Hiroshi said.
"What about Moosie?!" Mika asked wondering what had happened to the moose.
"He…he…" Daichi went on.
"What, what, what?!" Mika asked frantically.
"He…he…he…" Daichi continued.
"ENOUGH WITH THE "HE'S"!!!!" Tori yelled out.
"Ok fine!" Daichi stuck out its three tongues out.
"He what?" Rina asked.
"Missed" Isamu concluded.
"What?" Tori asked.
"He missed" Isamu restated.
"…"
"Ya know that rule where pets had to be potty-trained?" Hiroshi reminded.
"AWWW!!! GROSS THANKS FOR THE THOUGHT!!!" Rina yelled out burying her head under her pillow.
"GEE THANKS!!" Tori yelled out and went back to her room completely ignoring what had woken her up.
"THAT'S A GREAT THOUGHT!!" Mika yelled out sarcastically.
"YOU'RE WELCOME!!" All 3 animals yelled back.
As dawn approached the girls awoken to the sun rays piercing through the windows. Remembering the events that had occurred last night, the 3 completely averted their attention from the bathroom.
"Oh by the way we lied" Daichi said as he walked into the kitchen.
"Huh? About what?" Tori asked.
"Ya know the whole moose thing"
"WHAT?!!" Mika screeched spitting out her water.
"We lied what's the big deal?" He asked.
"Aww…you moron!" Mika grumbled as she trudged out of the kitchen.
"…Well that was an interesting talk in the morning" Rina remarked.
"Yeah usually it's an argument or something" Hiroshi agreed.
"…Well yesterday it was a game of dodge-ball with cookie dough" Tori said.
"Oh yeah…good times, good times" Daichi laughed.
"Yeah until you pelted Isamu with the dough which caused him to tear up the place" Hiroshi reminded the chimera.
"Shut up, it was a life changing moment"
"Yeah for you and for us no doubt about it"
"Hey what's this?!" Mika yelled from the front door.
The group in the kitchen left to investigate what Mika had found.
"Oh whoops nevermind, it's the pizza I ordered" Mika said.
"…you ordered pizza for breakfast?" Tori asked.
"…It's breakfast time?" Mika asked confused.
"Uh…yeah…10 A.M." Tori pointed out.
"Ohhh…I must've ordered this at 7 A.M…." Mika muttered.
"7 A.M. is way too early to be up, remember the time you almost washed your hair with toothpaste?" Rina asked.
"…It would've been minty-fresh!" Mika protested.
"Whatever…"
"Hey shouldn't you be at your division by now Rina?" Tori asked.
"No…why would I be this early?" She asked.
"…Cuz Byaku doesn't like tardiness" Mika reminded her.
"LOL who came up with the word tardiness?" Tori laughed. "Does it have something to do with tards?" She asked.
"…Ya that's why we call people that are slow and late retards!!" Mika answered.
"WOW!! I learn something new everyday!!" Tori celebrated.
"Like I care, I can show up there 2 years from now and he can't do anything about it" Rina said.
"Ok…well I'm staying here til 2 since Renji always ditches work at that time" Mika sighed.
"I don't have to show up at all cuz it's my DAY OFF!!!" Tori yelled out happily.
"Lucky bum…" Mika muttered.
---
"Whoa, did a rat come through?" Mika asked Hisagi and Renji when she entered the office.
"No…what ever gave you that idea?" Renji asked.
"Maybe cuz both of you guys are on top of your desks quivering like a wuss, there's papers all over the floor and everything else is either on its side or upside down" Mika answered.
"…Can't you think of any other reason why we're up here?" Renji asked.
"…Oh god evil yaoi thoughts…" Mika muttered.
"MIKA!!!!" Renji roared infuriated.
"What?" She asked.
"Ok we might as well tell her" Hisagi said.
"OMG!!! Those yaoi thoughts were true weren't they?!" Mika asked horrified.
"Would you get a grip?!" Renji asked thwacking her head with a textbook.
"OW!!" She moaned.
"Something came through here when we were WORKING on our PAPERS and it destroyed the place, all of the other offices are like this too" Renji told her.
"OHHH!!! Funny, something entered my house last night…" Mika said quietly.
"Did you see what it was?" Hisagi asked.
"No it scared me and Tori so we ran to Rina's room and told her and she said that it was probably a robotic rat or something since it sounded like R2D2 and it moved like rat" Mika explained.
"…Did Darth Vader happen to show up?" Renji asked not believing her.
"…He might've been the pizza guy…" Mika pondered.
"…Get to work" Renji ordered.
"…OK!!" Mika saluted, walked over to the couch flipped it back up and immediately fell asleep on the couch. Yes that was what Mika considered working.
---
"Umm…should I even ask?" Rina scratched her head as she entered the office to see it lay in a huge mess.
"Don't even say anything" Byakuya said clearly annoyed.
"…Should I call Pest Control?" Rina suggested. "Or a maid?"
"Neither it was just a…a freak accident" He answered.
"O…K…" Rina said back totally not believing his word. "I'll go deal with the new recruits" She offered and left.
"Good luck, they're complete idiots" He warned her.
"I've been surrounded by idiots my whole life, I don't think I'll find anything different" She answered boredly and walked out briskly.
---
"YATTA!!! DAY OFF!!! WOOT!!!..." Tori cheered and ran around in circles. She soon came to a stop. "It's quiet in here…" She commented noticing the silence. "…WAH I'M ALL ALONE!!!" She cried out in misery. She wasn't paying any attention to what she was walking into and tripped over the table and landed on her stomach. "Hey a penny!!" She remarked seeing the coin. "…I HAVE A NEW FRIEND!!!" She exclaimed happily having found a penny for a friend. "I'm bored!!" She called out seconds after she was cheering for the penny.
The day went by quickly and many forgot about what had trashed Seireitei, but it didn't really matter as they never found out what had really happened.
---
"So how were they?" Byakuya asked his lieutenant that had returned after a day of training with the new recruits.
"They were great; they mastered what I taught them so fast!" She answered back.
"Really…" He asked not believing her.
"YUP!!"
"What'd you teach them?"
"How to be a master at thumb wars!!" She said cheerfully.
"…And how's that going to help them in battle?" He asked.
"They'll have strong thumbs" She stated.
"…We don't use our thumbs in battle"
"Yes we do!!!"
"Ok then, when do we use them?"
"To hold our zanpakutou's!!!" She answered.
"Did you happen to teach them anything else?!" He asked getting annoyed.
"Yeah"
"What are they?" He asked bracing himself for idiotic teachings.
"Rock Paper Scissors, Torture Tag—they found it very amusing, uh…Capture the Flag, Leapfrog, How to be a Ninja, Tic Tac Toe, oh and we also had a little game at the end!!!" She finished.
"…I don't think I wanna know" Byakuya said with his head pressed onto his hand from the complete idiotic lessons.
"Sure you do!!" She said going on anyways "We had a full-fledged rugby game" She answered.
"…You do know you're supposed to teach them kidou, swordsmanship, and hakuda right?" He asked.
"Yeah but those lessons are so boring!!!"
"…You should have a day off tomorrow" He suggested.
"OK if you insist!!"
---
"MIKA!!!" Renji roared trying to wake up the girl. She turned to face the couch, completely ignoring Renji. "…Are you dead?" He wondered forgetting the fact that she just moved. He bent down to her face to see if she was breathing.
"HYAA!!" Mika yelled out swiftly turning over with her arm outstretched, slapping him right on his cheek sending him to the wall. "Morning!!" Mika yawned. "What happened to you?" She asked her captain.
"…You frickin slapped me!!" He answered sitting up.
"I did?" She asked not knowing her actions.
"Yeah…anyways its time for us to leave, remember to come in here on time tomorrow!!" He said.
"Aww…when do I get a day off?" She pouted.
"…Mika…" He started.
"Yeah?"
"All you do is sleep whenever you're supposed to be working, and you still want a day off?" He asked in disbelief.
"Yeah!! That way I don't have to walk all the way here and back!!" She answered.
'Wait, if I give her a day off then I won't have to do any work at all!!!' Renji thought in his head smiling from the thought.
"…Oh and if I do ever get the day off, you better not make Hisagi do all the work!!" Mika said before she left.
"Dammit!! How'd she know?!"
"What's for dinner?" Tori asked throwing pillows up into the air to relieve her boredom.
"I dunno" Mika answered turning on the TV.
"Rina what's for dinner?" Tori asked.
"I dunno too lazy to make dinner" Rina retorted.
"…Ok then let's eat out!!" Tori suggested.
"Where?" Mika asked.
"I dunno…"
"I'll ask cap'n then!" Tori said and grabbed the phone. "HI SNOWFLAKE!!" She said cheerfully.
"Whaddya want?" He asked sounding pretty pissed off.
"Can ya help me with something?" She asked innocently.
"If it involves arrows, darts, throwing knives, or cotton-balls, then no" He answered.
"It doesn't involve any of that. You know any good restaurants?" She asked
"What?"
"Know any good restaurants cuz me, Mika, and Rina wanna have dinner but we're too lazy to cook" She explained.
"Go for a seafood restaurant or something" He suggested.
"I DON'T LIKE FISH!!" Mika yelled out.
"Oh deal with it!!" He shouted back before hanging up.
"…There's a seafood restaurant in Seireitei?" Rina asked.
"Let's just settle with waffles" Mika suggested.
"Good enough for me!!" Tori and Rina agreed.
I might as well list the changes in the divisions right now:
1st Division: Yamamoto Genryuusai-Shigekuni, Sasakibe Chojiro
2nd Division: Soifon, Marechiyo Oomaeda
3rd Division: No captain, Kira Izuru
4th Division: Unohana Retsu, Kotetsu Isane, 3rd seat Yasochika Iemura, Hanatarou (I don't know what rank he had before but let's just say he got a huge promotion and went up to 5th seat)
5th Division: Kurosaki Ichigo, Hinamori Momo
6th Division: Kuchiki Byakuya, Tsukiyomi Rina
7th Division: Komamura Sajin, Tetsuzaemon Iba
8th Division: Kyouraku Shunsui, Nanao Ise
9th Division: Abarai Renji, Hisagi Shuuhei, 3rd seat Kurai Mika
10th Division: Hitsugaya Toshiro, Matsumoto Rangiku, 3rd seat Shinboku Tori
11th Division: Zaraki Kenpachi, Kusajishi Yachiru, 3rd seat Madarame Ikkaku, 5th seat Ayasegawa Yumichika
12th Division: Kurotsuchi Mayuri, Kurotsuchi Nemu
13th Division: Ukitake Jushiro, Kuchiki Rukia, 3rd seat-ers Kotsubaki Sentarou and Kotetsu Kiyone