ZUTARA WEEK 2011, Day 1: MASK

Vicarious Confessions

DISCLAIMER: Avatar: the Last Airbender belongs to Bryke, but Zutara Week belongs to all Zutarians.

NOTE: Here we go; it's that time of the year once more. Welcome to Zutara Week, year 4.

I am so thrilled to be participating again this year and I'm glad that my schedule has allowed me to post some humble contributions to this wonderful celebration. The prompts this year were very intriguing and also exceedingly difficult to work with because I always strive to do something creative and unorthodox. I hope you will enjoy my work again.

Since I have found links among all the prompts, I have decided that aside from my usual one-shots, I will post a multi-chapter story with one chapter for every prompt, stringing them together in one plot. So if you're interested, please also take a look at "His Greatest Challenge Yet" which I'm posting after this.

For now, enjoy this little piece which was one of the toughest to come up with. It's set between "The Firebending Masters" and "The Boiling Rock."

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"And that is for Ba Sing Se!"

The water whip hit its target with a sharp and resounding splash and the waterbender smiled with satisfaction at the result. She withdrew her weapon, collecting the water back into the gourd at her side. And with a deep sigh, she released all the tension that had welled up within her. Katara closed her eyes for a few moments, relishing the momentary peace that always followed these exercises. All was still and there was nothing to fear.

The mark she had hit was simply a tall rock that somehow resembled a human body. And on top of it she had placed an ancient artifact she had found during her earlier explorations of the Western Air Temple. It was a sturdy earthen mask with a crack on the upper left side of the face, clearly marking the area where the left eye was. The moment she laid eyes on the mask, Katara knew it was exactly what would serve her purpose.

And so far, it had survived the fiercest of her attacks, remaining intact (except for the distinct crack) and whole in spite of countless hits with water whips, ice darts, and other weapons from the waterbending master's arsenal. Katara couldn't help but think that the mask was as resilient as the person it represented. All the better, since this made her exercises seem more and more realistic.

She had been holding these special individual "training sessions" in a relatively secluded area of the Western Air Temple, beside an ancient fountain. Every day, after doing her chores and helping Aang polish his waterbending, Katara made sure to have some time to herself in this sacred space, to practice waterbending and more importantly, to release her anger. No one knew the nature of these sessions (except Toph, from whom it was impossible to hide anything), but everyone knew well enough to leave Katara alone when she went off by herself. After all, she would always emerge from her training in a better mood than she had been when she started.

Katara sat by the fountain and glared at the mask on the rock, as if channeling her anger and distrust towards the original.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped at the dummy before feeling silly that she was talking by herself.

Katara sighed in exasperation as the vision of Zuko's face appeared in her mind. She tried to shove it away but she could not help but remember that he was there, a member of their little group, and he had claimed to be their friend. Even as the others had gradually learned to trust him, Katara resisted.

If she tried to explain why she was distrustful, she could only fall back on the same old arguments. He was THE firebender who had been chasing them around the world trying to capture Aang. He had captured her and conspired with pirates. And the one she constantly referred to was his betrayal in Ba Sing Se. That was the one she was angriest about.

And the worst part was that while he never denied any of her accusations (he couldn't anyway), the others had already seemed to forgive him for his past. Aang, in particular, was now fiercely on Zuko's side after what they had been through with the Sun Warriors. Everything Katara seemed to say against the firebender was now obsolete and easily refuted with evidence of his current actions.

"Why are YOU the hero all of a sudden?" she asked the mask in frustration, "why can't they see that you're unreliable and untrustworthy and, and …you're just biding your time for the perfect opportunity to betray us all!"

Of course, the mask merely gave her its empty gaze, daring her to admit that she already knew the answers, that deep down, she knew she was wrong about him but was just too stubborn to retract her previous statements.

Katara sighed and put her head in her hands.

Things had reached the point that anything she had to say about Zuko was immediately shot down by Aang, Toph, and even Sokka. Her own brother turned against her! The firebender didn't have to say anything in his defense anymore, he had a whole team of allies against Katara, it seemed. So the only way she could openly express her disapproval of him was by yelling at a mask.

"This is ridiculous," she said, glaring again at her target, "and it's all your fault. You are driving me crazy, do you know that?"

The Zuko-mask said nothing. She hadn't expected anything.

"We were doing fine," she began her tirade, "well, at least, relatively fine, until you came along and changed everything! Why did you have to come back? Why did you have to stir things up again? Why couldn't you have stayed where I could be angry at you forever and with proper justification?"

With a cry of exasperation, Katara punched the water of the fountain and caused a large wave to erupt from it momentarily before calming down again.

She looked at the mask again and this time really imagined that it was Zuko staring back at her with that gentle, sympathetic expression on his face that she was slowly (very slowly) getting accustomed to.

Katara sighed again.

"I guess I can't keep this up for much longer," she admitted reluctantly. And to her surprise, she found herself walking over to the dummy and placing a hand gently on the cracked side of the mask, just like she had done to his face so long ago in Ba Sing Se.

But those bitter memories were fading away, quickly being replaced by the smile on Aang's face as he learned to firebend and the laughter from the others as Zuko tried to tell jokes. This time, he really had changed, and she really had to stop lying to herself about it.

"It was so much easier being angry and disappointed at you when you weren't being so darn noble," she said with a hint of a smile.

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As Katara made her way back to where the others were, taking a different route as she didn't want to bump into anyone just yet, she heard someone speaking nearby. Curious, she peered behind a nearby corner and saw Zuko with his back turned to her. He seemed busy talking to someone she could not yet see so she decided to leave, not quite ready to face him yet, even after her personal realizations about him. There would be time for that later.

But as she turned to leave quietly, she heard something that stopped her in her tracks.

"Katara, I know I was horrible to you before, but I am truly sorry for everything and I really hope that someday, you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

The waterbender looked around and saw that there was no one else in the vicinity. And Zuko clearly had not sensed her presence yet. So who was he talking to?

Careful as ever, she turned to get a better glimpse of what he was doing. He continued rehearsing his long and hesitant speech asking for her forgiveness, projecting his voice to a certain area of the temple. Katara narrowed her eyes and saw that the firebender was actually "talking" to a statue of the Avatar. She noticed that the whole wall of that section of the temple was filled with statues of the Avatar's past lives. And the one Zuko was standing before was that of a female waterbender who bore some resemblance to Katara herself.

"I've been trying my best to make amends for all my mistakes, believe me, I have suffered enough guilt for them for a long, long time," he continued passionately, "and I know that there's still a long way to go before any of these efforts are enough, but I wish you could just give me a chance…"

Zuko began pacing before the statue of the waterbender, trying to compose himself, trying to say something coherent but he barely managed a few sentences before shaking his head in exasperation and trying again.

Katara couldn't make out how she was feeling as she watched him engage in an activity very similar (but significantly less violent) to what she had been doing for the past weeks. She was amused by his awkwardness, flattered by his eagerness for her friendship, and slightly guilty for having caused him so much internal strife. But the strongest feeling of all was a strangely powerful affinity with him because he had been just as reluctant to confront her as she had been to speak to him.

Why do we have this in common? She wondered, for the first time really allowing non-hostile thoughts towards him.

And hearing his heartfelt words softened her own hard heart and all but destroyed her remaining resolve to be angry at him. At that moment, she also decided that it was high time for them to have a proper conversation.

"I'm really sorry, all right?" Zuko continued earnestly, "I've been a jerk and an idiot, and I deserve all your hate. But I really wish you wouldn't hate me."

"I don't hate you," Katara said, emerging from her hiding place shyly.

Zuko whirled around in utter surprise and blinked a few times before staring at her in awe and embarrassment. At the sight of the person they had been having hypothetical confrontations with, Zuko and Katara blushed and were suddenly speechless.

After a few tense moments of silence, Zuko spoke.

"H-how long have you been listening?" he asked nervously.

"Long enough," Katara replied softly.

Zuko was relieved to see that there was no hardness in her expression and for the first time since he arrived at the temple, she was speaking to him in the gentle tone that he had so longed to hear.

They looked away from each other again, unsure of what they ought to say next. They were both exceedingly embarrassed and were just thankful that there was no one else there to witness their discomfiture.

"I think it's time we had a proper talk," Katara suggested after a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"You're right," Zuko heartily agreed, not quite knowing how to react to such an unexpected offer of truce from the person who had been so determined to put up a fight.

What happened next was even more unexpected because for the first time since he had joined the Avatar, Zuko saw Katara genuinely smiling at him. He stared incredulously for a few moments that he did not realize right away that she had also extended her hand to him.

This reaction confused the waterbender a bit because she thought he was suspicious of her offer of friendship. And given the way she had treated him before, he had every right to be skeptical. She was beginning to truly regret her past actions and wondered whether it was too late to repair things between them.

But all her doubts immediately vanished when she saw Zuko warmly returning her smile and gently taking her hand.