Summary: ShuAke Confidant Week Day 3: Neglect/Rejection. Old deeds and decisions have left their mark, and it's time Ren realizes it.
Note: It's Halloween but I don't have a Halloween fic, whoops. Have some feels instead.
Warnings: Screaming, Hugging, Possibly A Rollercoaster, Akechi Has Pent Up Feelings (But What Else Is New), This Almost Ended In Tears But It Switched To Screams.
Disclaimer: Don't own P5.
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The bell above Leblanc's entrance chimed when the door was opened, indicating the arrival of a customer, and Futaba scampered out of her seat and around the counter to hide behind Ren.
"Welcome," Sojiro greeted the customer, who merely smiled faintly in response and made a beeline to the chair right in front of Ren across the counter.
"Hello, Ren-kun." Goro fluttered his eyelashes. Sojiro raised a curious eyebrow, but didn't interrupt.
"Took you long enough," Ren said in response, "Did you get lost in the backstreets?"
Goro hummed, smile stretching in blatant amusement, "No, don't worry about me. I don't get lost that easily. I simply didn't want to invade the place where you lived so soon after I invaded the school you attended."
"Goro-san." Ren nearly sighed in frustration, "It's August. It's been four months."
Goro tapped a finger against his lips thoughtfully, "And? You're the type that needs months to recover. Am I wrong?"
Ren's eyebrow twitched. Was that a dig at him? Most likely; Goro's eyes looked colder than usual, with his smile showing fewer teeth than Ren would normally be seeing in his presence.
Which meant…
Goro was pissed. About what, Ren had yet to figure out, which meant he'd need to get it out of him through conversation, which wasn't as difficult as it sounded, because Goro's urge to vent his frustrations always increased while in Ren's presence.
"What will it be?" Ren smoothed a hand down his apron, a casual gesture to remind Goro of where they stood and what their positions were at the moment.
"I'll have what you recommend."
Ren tilted his head at Sojiro, who gestured at him to go take care of it instead, and Futaba made a beeline to hide behind Sojiro before Ren had to go make the coffee.
"Right away."
"You two know each other?" Ren heard Sojiro ask.
"Yes. My name is Akechi Goro, and I'm a detective. Ren-kun and I have known each other for quite some time, even before his probation."
"Oh? A detective?"
"Yes." Ren could practically hear Goro's smile widening to something more normal for him, "Phantom thieves are my specialty, you could say."
Ren snuck a look to the side to catch Futaba curling up even further behind Sojiro.
"Don't let him continue talking or he won't stop boasting about the people he crushed during his career."
"That's so harsh of you, Ren-kun."
"Are you pouting, Goro-san? It doesn't suit you."
"And you're an expert about what suits me, now?"
"Not really." Ren deadpanned as he went about preparing Goro's cup of coffee (all the while resisting the urge to slip some hot sauce in it out of spite, because he wouldn't dare do it with Sojiro around), "But I know what looks obnoxious on you because I'm usually on the receiving end of it." Ren took the now finished cup of coffee and placed it in front of Goro, "Here."
Goro stared at the cup for a while, elbows braced on the counter with his fingers laced together, and his chin braced on top of them.
"Is something the matter?" Ren cocked his head to the side, resisting the urge to fiddle with one of his bangs out of sudden self-consciousness, because that would be a sign of his casual attitude weakening, and Goro would hone in on it like a shark to the scent of bloo-
Goro's eyes snapped towards him, pinning him in place, shark-like grin spreading across his face.
Ren exhaled softly. It looked like he was caught.
He shoved his hands back into his pocket and resisted the urge to poke his tongue out at Goro in a display of childish annoyance.
"It's simply that," Goro started, tone too sugary as he unlaced his fingers and reached towards the cup, "This is the first time my darling made something for me."
A blush climbed up Ren's neck; this was what he was afraid of.
"You blush so sweetly, bae." Goro let his eyelids droop until he was staring at Ren with half-lidded eyes, "One could say you're trying to seduce me. But alas it is not as such… You've already been trying to seduce me for a long while. But how successful are you, I wonder?"
"Drink your fucking coffee before it fucking gets cold, goddammit!"
"Kid!" Sojiro snapped, and behind him, Futaba was muffling her giggles.
Goro threw his head back and laughed, causing the father and daughter duo to stare at him in slight confusion while Ren crossed his arms and scowled.
"You're always so feisty," Goro said the moment his laughter petered out, "I like that about you, kitten."
Ren had to resist the urge to stomp his foot down like a two-year old about to throw a temper tantrum.
And then finally, finally, Goro deigned to take a sip out of his coffee.
Goro froze, and the other three in the café stared at him in confusion.
Worry started to seep into Ren; he was pretty sure he made it exactly as Sojiro taught him, and he had served customers before and none of them complained about his coffee.
Goro placed his cup down on the counter and started chuckling lowly.
"Goro-san?" Ren slowly approached him, his worry increasing at the spontaneous reaction that did nothing to ease his apprehension, "What is it?"
Goro snapped his head up to lock eyes with Ren, who almost took a step back at the intensity of his gaze, "I do believe that I found my new favorite café," He said, tone light and completely at odds with the heavy gaze he kept fixed on Ren.
"New… favorite café?" Ren repeated, not comprehending (or rather, not willing to comprehend) the implications.
"Yes." Goro grinned widely as he leaned closer across the counter, "The coffee is amazing, the atmosphere is comfortable, and the barista serving me is quite lovely."
Ren sent him a blank stare, but Goro's good mood didn't seem to be abating any time soon, so he only received the same wide grin in return.
Ren sent Sojiro a look, and Sojiro half-shrugged at him, so Ren sighed, "Do what you want."
"Great!"
'Do what you want' apparently translated into migrating into a booth to occupy it for the next couple of hours, while ordering a few more refills and a single plate of curry as he sat in the corner of the booth, scrolling through his phone with an intense stare in his eyes.
Ren would deny to his dying breath that he ever felt jealous of a phone.
Goro came here for a reason that was most definitely Ren-related, because there was no way he'd drag his ass all the way to an obscure café tucked away in a corner of Yongen-Jaya's backstreets for anything simple.
Now, all he had to do was gather the courage to actually break Goro's concentration and ask him about it.
(It had been two years, and Ren wished he'd finally find the courage to pursue Goro for anything when he wasn't in his Joker persona. Why was he such a coward? It was disgusting.)
And so, Ren resigned himself to simply stand silently behind the counter, stewing in his thoughts in the quiet of the café. Sojiro had gone out for a smoke, while Futaba curled up behind the counter, messing around on her phone. The only noise came from the TV, turned on to a news channel still droning on about Medjed.
Ren frowned. Weren't they bored of the topic already? Ren knew he was already so done with seeing and hearing about Medjed wherever he went for the past month.
Then the newscaster started talking about the debacle around the confrontation between Medjed and the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.
Around him, he could see the other two occupants of the café raise their heads and turn their attention to the TV screen.
"Phantom thieves, huh?" Goro murmured, and Ren felt his stomach twist into knots. Oh, boy.
"Aren't those thieves the same who spread the calling cards around Shujin?" Goro mused out loud, "They targeted Madarame and that mafia boss Kaneshiro. And they also retaliated against Medjed. How curious."
Futaba peeked from around the counter, "What is it, are you interested in capturing them, Tantei-san?"
Both Ren and Goro twitched at the nickname, and Goro sent Ren a sharp Look. Ren just gave him a bland stare in response.
Goro shook his head and returned to his phone, "Not really. A group of anonymous thieves who popped up randomly with claims of stealing corrupt people's hearts, to make them confess their crimes and atone." Goro shrugged, "One day, they'll fall, just like any other phantom thief out there, be it by the hands of someone else, or by their own doing. It's just a matter of time."
"You… Seem confident about it," Futaba spoke up hesitantly, and Ren was surprised she didn't retreat already.
"Phantom thieves who steal for some sort of lofty, noble cause or duty tend to either burn out from the exhaustion and strain of following their path, destroy themselves as they fall from grace, or just retire after they perceive their duty is done." Goro glared at his phone, "Without a care for the people they leave behind," He murmured, slumping backwards in his seat and dropping his phone on the table, looking very tired all of a sudden. "Leaving people behind like discarded tools that no longer served any purpose, without any notice. They just. Disappear. Like they never existed."
Goro blinked at Futaba as if seeing her for the first time, "It doesn't matter what they intended, it doesn't matter what they planned to do, because it doesn't make the feeling of rejection hurt any less. Knowing that you were never good enough to make them stay…" Goro trailed off before he shook his head and pasted a fake smile on his face as he stood up, picking his phone from the table. "My apologies, I didn't intend to put a damper on your mood with my spontaneous ramblings."
Futaba shook her head, gaze downcast to her hands as she fiddled with her fingers, "Sometimes it's good to talk it out with people instead of just bottling it all up," She muttered, her words barely heard.
"Still, I apologize again for inconveniencing you. The bill, please."
Ren opened his mouth but nothing came out. He closed it and cleared his mouth before speaking up again, "Right."
As Goro reached for his wallet to pay for his coffee and curry, he refused to look at Ren, which was understandable, given what just happened. He shoved a few notes into Ren's hands, still refusing to look at Ren.
"That should cover it. Keep the change." He turned around sharply and bolted out of the door.
The harsh jingle of the bell snapped Ren out of his daze and he called out, "Wait!" Not waiting for a response, and not expecting Goro to actually listen to him even if he heard him, he vaulted over the counter and rushed through the door.
"Goro!" He called out again as he hit the road outside Leblanc and looked down both sides before catching sight of Goro turning the corner, "Wait!"
This time Goro listened to him and waited, not that the sight that awaited him was anything to be happy about.
"What do you want from me?" Goro snapped, voice uncharacteristically brittle, he stood with his shoulders hunched and fists clenched tightly, "Why don't you just drop it and act like I didn't say anything because I don't want your pity!"
"It's not-"
"I don't want to hear it! Why can't you just leave me be?! You've already done it once why not do it again?! You don't have any reason to be chasing after me! It has always been me chasing after you and I don't see why that has to change now! Don't do this because you feel sorry for me or whatever! Save us both the trouble and just go back and enjoy your life without me! Just say the word and I will. Stop. Won't. Selfishly chase you down again. Just say it to my face, Jo-!"
Goro choked on his last word and covered his mouth.
"My apologies…" Goro inhaled, "I shouldn't have said that and-" He grimaced, "-in such a public place, too, given your circumstances."
Ren could feel the people milling about the road, as well as the shopkeepers, eyeing them, but he didn't care; he had more important things to deal with.
"I don't care."
"I… see…"
Ren suppressed a sigh; he needed to say something, but he didn't know what to say without making the situation escalate further.
A thought popped into his head, and he almost dismissed it out of belief that it would only backfire, but… He paused to consider Goro standing in front of him, posture stiff and staring at the ground.
Ren took a deep breath and threw all of his hesitation aside to walk closer to Goro, who luckily didn't move from his place, and wrap his arms around him.
If possible, Goro stiffened even further.
"Ren-!"
"Shhh. Just let me." Ren tightened his hold on Goro, who hesitantly started to return the embrace, slowly reaching around Ren to wrap him in his arms. But the moment he had his arms fully around Ren, he, too, seemed to lose all his hesitation and clutched Ren tightly, as if unwilling to let Ren leave without being pried from Goro's hands.
Ren pushed his face into the crook of Goro's neck to whisper, voice loud enough to make sure Goro heard him, and firm enough to make sure Goro would believe him, if even only a little.
"I'm not going to leave you, Goro. I know I can never apologize enough for when I did dis-"
"Shhh." Goro interrupted him, "Don't. Don't say it. I'm not ready for you to say it yet. One day, I'm going to hear the truth out of your own mouth. But not today."
Ren almost laughed, "I would be worried if you accepted me saying it, anyway. I just want you to know that I'm willing to tell you. Whenever you want. Just say the word."
Ren didn't know what this turn in their relationship meant at the moment, but he knew he was glad it happened, like he was safely passing through an impenetrable barrier that threatened to harm whoever dared to cross it without fear of it getting the better of him when he least expected it, an impenetrable barrier that loomed over him for long. Whether that barrier was formed out of his own fear, hesitance, and doubts, out of Goro's suspicions and insecurities, or a combination of both, Ren didn't care.
What mattered to him…
Goro pulled him even closer, if it was even possible, and buried his face in Ren's hair.
What mattered to him was this.
.
End
And then they parted ways awkwardly and slinked away in embarrassment.