This will be a series of Song-fic-esque one-shots. Some can be sequels, which will be noted on each fic. rating will be M for later ficlets.

Anyhow, please R&R, I'd love to see what you all think.

Title: Hate me
Pairing: Destiel and implied Wincest.

Song: Hate me – Blue October

Summary:

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, save for the writing…. The characters and slight lyrics are NOT MINE. Have I made that clear..? I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS NOR THE LYRICS. They are only being used for entertainment purposes.

(Believe me… if I owned this… there would be way more Destiel… muwahaha…)

"I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head…

They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed…

Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone…"

A faint growl passed chapped lips as his fist collided with the wall of yet another dingy motel. He couldn't take it… He couldn't keep reliving the broken look in those dazzling sapphire blues. Just that thought alone pulled at pieces of him he didn't recall having until he met that damned angel.

"Dean..? Is everything okay?"

He hadn't even heard the door to the motel room open. He heaved a sigh, forcing himself to regain his composure.

"Always, Sammy… Always," he stated, forcing a smile upon his lips as he looked over at the taller male. Though his smile was met with cautious doubt, Sam still managed to smile back.

"Well… Where are we heading now? Taking out a shifter was easy work this time. Any leads on anything else?" Sam asked as he removed his coat setting it on the table in the kitchenette. His eyes moved to meet Dean's dusty greens. They seemed distant, almost reminiscent.

"Well… Nothing really… No calls or sightings of anything strange."

Sam frowned faintly before nodding lightly. "Are we going to stay here another night?" He could tell that something was wrong, the way Dean's shoulders slumped, the distance in his eyes, the almost pained expression that seemed plastered across his face. He didn't get a response.

"I'm sober now for three whole months

It's one accomplishment that you helped me with

The one thing that always tore us apart, Is the one thing I won't touch again"

Dean sighed heavily, moving to the fridge, pulling out the bottle of Whiskey that he'd gotten earlier that evening, still full and unopened. He frowned at it; tilting the bottle and watching the dark amber liquid follow its containers movements.

"Dean, You should stop... it will not make the pain go away.." a tender hand gently caressed his cheek as he gazed up into gorgeous blue eyes. "Please, Dean… Let me help you." Dean took in a shaky breath.

"I need help." he breathed. The proud look that flashed across his angels face was more than enough to give him the drive to stop. He'd stop anything that the beautiful man before him wanted… just to get that look of pride and adoration. Dean's hand moved up to gently grasp the other's tie, pulling him down and gently pressing his lips against his angel's.

"Dean?"

The voice snapped him from the memory. He shook his head before warily glancing back over at Sam. "Have you heard from him..?"

Sam quirked an eyebrow, opening his mouth to ask who Dean was talking about when it hit him. Castiel. He hesitated as he watched his older brother place the full bottle back into the fridge.

"I… I have." He started cautiously. "He's a mess, Dean."

The words crashed over the other, his form tensing where he stood with his back to his brother. He's a mess. Those three words repeated over and over in his head. Green eyes shut tightly.

'Hate me today,

Hate me tomorrow,

Hate me so you can finally

See what's good for you.'

Days seemed to drag on and on, same mundane situations different day. Hunt after hunt; city after city; It never seemed to end. Each mile they drove, each demented abomination they ganked, never seemed to alleviate the memories, the thoughts, or the worries. He couldn't focus. He'd been running for over six months now.

He sighed contently as he lay in yet another dingy hotel bed, one arm resting behind his head, the other holding the warm body next to him against himself. He'd sought comfort in the one place that made him sick. He was a monster anyhow. His eyes moved down, watching the peaceful look on his brother's face as he slept against his bare chest. He sighed softly.

"Thank you, Sammy." He murmured quietly, he gently pressed his lips to the top of the younger Winchester's head, a secret confession that he would never voice again.

Dean shivered as feather light touches caressed his skin. The touches were so timid and gentle. It amazed him that anything could feel this amazing, that anything in the screwed up reality that he lived in could feel this perfect.

"Am… Am I doing this properly?" The rough voice above him held a mixture of confusion and nervousness. Dean couldn't help but smile as he lazily slid his eyes open to meet those darling sapphire blues.

"I'd let you know if you were doing something wrong." Dean stated with a soft smile as he moved one of his hands to gently run through that gorgeous dark hair. "Damn Cas… Have I ever told you how fucking gorgeous you are?"

Dean gasped as he awoke. His breathing was ragged and his body covered in a sheen of cold sweat. He barely registered when Sam moved and looked at him worriedly.

"Dean..? Are you alright..?" He asked quietly, gently placing tender kisses along his older brother's jaw line. The older Winchester shivered slightly at the motion. He forced himself to relax. He wasn't going to let his brother see him like this

"And with a sad heart I say good-bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows in the street for every mistake that I have made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

'Till I saw your blue eyes cry

And I held your face in my hands…"

A painted smile lay on Dean's lips as he held the angel against him. His heart was tearing at the seams. "You can't save me, Cas…" He whispered quietly into the others ear. He hesitated at feeling how still and silent the other had become. He forced himself to pull back, and what he saw damn near killed him. Tears. Tears were falling from those beautiful blues that he'd come to love and adore. Pained eyes met his as if he wasn't even ashamed of them. He was in pain… Dean had taught him how to love, how to live and be free… and this is how it ended?

"How…How can you do this to me..?" Words barely spoken above a whisper were forever burned into the hunters mind.

"Son of a bitch…" the hunter muttered under his breath, moments before his brother came into the hotel room.

"How could you do that to me, Dean?" Sam shouted, slamming his bag down onto the small table in the room, eyes swimming with rage. Dean flinched. Those words haunted him.. when he was asleep he heard them.. when he was awake, he could have sworn that he heard Cas speaking to him again.

"I'm sorry.." Dean Winchester apologized, actually apologized, and meant it. Words that should have been said to someone else… somewhere else.. where are you..?

"Hate me in ways,

Yeah ways hard to swallow"

He was watching. Never could stop. He hated him. He shook his head. No… No… He wasn't supposed to hate, wasn't supposed to…. Love. Castiel frowned slightly as he gazed down at Earth from the Garrison. None of this was supposed to happen. None of it. With those thoughts in mind, Castiel turned his back on Dean, and on the petty ideals and 'free will' that he had taught him.

I know the ending kind of sucks…. This one is supposed to be sad and morbid… Don't shoot me. ^^;

Anyhow, tell me what you think of it. There will be more to come. As I said before, this is going to be a series of one-shot song-fics, with multiple pairings and what not. ^^;