DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds or the song featured in the fic. I only own the wording/plot idea whatever.
Song is Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
Spencer sat cross-legged on his bed, the room was unusually messy. For someone like Spencer who had such a scatter of thoughts going on in his head all at once he liked to keep his personal space tidy, it gave him a little order, at least outside his own brain. The bed and floor was littered with allsorts; there were movie stubs from dates they'd been on, dinner receipts, cards, stupid little presents and of course the photos. There were so many photos of him and Derek; they were sprawled everywhere looking up at him in a taunting manner, reminding him of what he could no longer have. With a sigh Spencer rolled over to his bedside table and picked up his cell. He'd deleted the number ages ago to stop himself calling but it didn't matter he knew the number off by heart and it wasn't just because of his eidetic memory it was because it was Derek's phone number.
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore
Pressing the phone to his ear he listen to it ring, for once in his life Spencer had nothing to say, his mind was at a complete blank a feeling that Spencer wasn't used to. His mind snapped back to place as he heard Derek's voice on the other end of the line.
"Hey you've reached Derek; I'm probably out saving the world, leave me a message and I'll get back to you soon."
With a huff he pressed the button to end the call and dropped the phone on the bed. It was at that moment that his eyes scanned the screen and he noticed the time 1.15am. Pulling his knees to his chest Spencer folded his arms around his legs and rested his chin atop one of his knees. His mind was flooded with thoughts of Derek, it had hardly been a week since the break up, he'd sworn he wouldn't call, had taken some vacation time saying he was going home to Las Vegas to visit his mother, just so he wouldn't have to see Derek.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
Picking up one of the photos that was next to him he sat studying it hard. It was a simple picture of himself and Derek, both were laughing and Derek had his arm slung over Spencer's shoulders. His thumb traced Derek's face and he let out a sigh, wandering if Derek was even thinking of him, if he regret ending the relationship, Spencer hadn't been able to get Derek off of his mind and he'd tried, oh how he'd tried, but it appeared the larger man was set to stay in Spencer's memories for a long time, Spencer suspected Derek would be burned into his mind until it no longer functioned.
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
Spencer felt that overwhelming urge to be wrapped in Derek's arms, the one person who could fix this, make him feel better, was the one person who'd made him feel like this in the first place. He knew he needed Derek and he was sick of pretending otherwise, they'd both agreed it was for the best, in case the team found out and they lost their jobs but Spencer was past caring. Swivelling himself round and standing up he slipped his shoes onto his feet and grabbed his coat as he walked out the door.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
Derek was sat at the bar at his local, it was about a 10 minute walk from his house, a little underground bar, no-one knew him here, except the bartender and a few of the regulars, but Derek's visits were infrequent with the job he did so he was easily forgotten about when he didn't show up for weeks on end. Tapping the bar another shot of whiskey was poured into his tumbler. Nobody had questioned what was wrong with him, they'd just left him sat at the end of the bar closest to the door, drinking his whiskey and getting a little more drunk with each mouthful. His eyes were fixated on the door, just hoping, needing, Spencer to walk through. It's how they'd first got together, Spencer had come barging through the door looking for him and Derek had slowly walked towards him, confusion written on his face as Spencer dragged him outside for a little privacy and a place to talk. From there they'd spent every night together, the only thing that ever stood in the way was getting cases.
Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
With a sigh he indicated for his drink to be filled once again but it didn't stay in the glass long as Derek downed it straight away. His thoughts were on Spencer tonight, they'd been on Spencer since he'd walked out of the door of the BAU for his vacation to Las Vegas. He didn't know why he'd even suggested breaking things off between them, he thought it was for the best and Spencer had agreed quickly. Derek had spent the rest of that night wondering why Spencer had accepted so easily but he guessed it was his own thought, Spencer had probably thought that Derek himself didn't want to be with him, so rather than hanging on he'd let Derek end it without a fight. He could still see that look on Spencer's face, the hurt at Derek's words and he wished he could take it back but he couldn't do that, what had happened couldn't be changed.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
With a sigh he pulled his cell from out of his pocket and for the first time noticed the time; 1.15am, he wasn't even sure how long he'd been drinking for now, they'd gotten out of the BAU at around 7.00pm maybe 8.00pm and Derek had gone home to drop off his gun and badge and had been at the bar ever since. That was over 4 hours of being sat in this bar, wallowing in self-pity and drinking shot after shot of whiskey. Punching in the number that he didn't even need to look up he put the phone to his ear and listened as it rung, eventually going to voicemail.
"You've reached Dr. Reid, I can't come to the phone right now but leave a name and number and I'll call you right back."
Derek closed his eyes and disconnected the phone, shoving it back into his jacket pocket. He'd promised Spencer he'd give him time, let him decide when to start talking as more than co-workers and he'd broken that promise. Clearly Spencer didn't want to talk to him or he would have answered the call.
It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
He'd been the one to initiate the break-up, said it would be better for the both of them because the team had been getting suspicious. He hadn't wanted Spencer to lose his job the kid had already come so far and he had such potential. Slamming the glass back on the bar top he let out a frustrated growl and chucked the money needed to pay his tab down onto the bar before heading towards the door. He needed Spencer, but he'd been the one to push him away. Derek needed to clear his head and then maybe he'd be able to figure out a way to make it up to his Spencer, make things right, he'd at least try. He needed him.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
The door opened quickly and with too much force, one man had pushed at the same time that the other had pulled. The younger man who'd been on the outside pulling had toppled backwards when the door had opened, landing on his backside on the steps behind him, due to the force in which the door had opened. Derek automatically held out his hand to help the other up, he'd apologise once the other was safely on his feet again. He felt the familiarity as long cool fingers wrapped themselves around his larger, warmer hand. His dark eyes locked with the lighter ones of the man he'd just been thinking of.
"I'm sorry, I know you said you wanted to end things, but I couldn't leave it the way it was, it felt too raw, and I just had to come and find you and explain that this isn't what I want. I know this might mean me getting shot down and having to start again but I need to know for sure."
Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all
Derek watched the object of his affection ramble on, he could hardly believe what he was hearing as the younger man rambled on. He blinked trying to clear his head and focus on the man he'd come to realise he couldn't live without. Once Spencer had stopped talking Derek reached out a hand, wrapping it lightly around the others neck, toying with the hair there as he pulled the other agent in for a kiss. Everything he'd said previously was forgotten as he poured his apology and his need into that one single kiss. He had to have Spencer know that what he'd said previously was a mistake, this was what he wanted, Spencer was what he wanted.
"I can smell and taste the liquor on you Derek, tell me this isn't going to be a drunk-one-night thing that you'll regret in the morning."
"Pretty boy, you mean more to me than just a drunken one-night-stand, always have, always will. I was drinking to try and forget, reasoning with myself that I'd made the right decision in ending things with you. Truth is; fuck the job. You mean more to me. Thing is Spence, I, I think. No. I know. Spencer, I love you."
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Their lips were crushed together once more but this time it had been the smaller of the two agents to initiate the kiss. Derek had known what was coming when he'd seen the look on Spencer's face from his words. Derek poured all his love for Spencer into the kiss they were now sharing, he needed Spencer to believe him, sure he was a little drunk but these were not from his drunken mind. Those words were real and from the heart. Everything he'd been trying to forget and push aside had come flooding back as soon as he'd felt Spencer's fingers wrapped around his hand.
Pulling back panting a little Spencer rested his forehead against Derek's, that cute smile that had first caught Derek's interested played on Spencer's lips.
"I love you too Derek Morgan."
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby, I need you now
The End of another beautiful story. That's a lie. I think I'm going to make this into a trilogy or something, not sure, just wanna add more to it.
Please R&R, it makes me happy :)