Please remember I DO NOT own LOTR! Or the characters. JUST this story!
This is my first so please don't judge me too harshly. ONE-SHOT
The Fellowship was sitting around a warm fire in the depths of the woods. Gandalf was already asleep, along with Boromir and Sam.
" Hey, Legolas," called Pippin. "Why don't you have a love life?"
Everybody's eyes whipped to Pippin and trailed to Legolas who was looking quite shocked and, although barely visible, blushing. He seemed to be at a loss of words before replying, "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, Gimli thinks you're gay, Merry's wondering why you don't talk about women, and Frodo's confused about why you haven't been laid," the small Hobbit answered. His response set fires to Legolas' eyes.
He glared at them and said firmly, "I am NOT gay! I don't talk about women rudely because it's disrespectful, and," he added looking pointedly at Frodo, who hung his head, "I HAVE been laid."
Everyone looked quietly at each other before cracking up so loud it echoed off the trees. Only Aragorn stayed silent. He gave Legolas a look that translated to a 'don't kill them' look.
Aragorn glanced around when they stopped laughing and questioned Legolas loudly. "So, how is your wife and two-year-old daughter?"
All mouths opened in round circles as Legolas smirked and replied, "Quite well."