A/N: Okay, this is a little piece I wrote a few weeks ago for the Obidala fanfic challenge. Because of the word limit there are a few parts in it that I normally would have described more (for those who know my style and wonder LOL). I hope you enjoy it.
For the readers of my other fanfic "The Path of the Jedi": I haven't forgotten about you. RL has kicked in the last few weeks. I'm currently working at the next chapter and I promise to update soon! It's normally not my habit to let you wait for so long, and I'm trying to change that!
The Soul-mate
He had fled the room as soon as Padme had delivered the twins. Sitting at the conference table of the Tantive IV, Obi-Wan felt exhaustion creeping into his body. He still couldn't believe what had happened.
It had been close. He nearly had killed his best friend and brother, nearly had left him behind to burn alive. The moment he had cut Anakin's legs, he had known with certainty that this was wrong. He heaved a heartfelt sigh. Now back in the security of Organa's protection he wasn't so sure anymore. He had seen the disappointed look in Master Yoda's eyes, when he had exited Padme's ship ordering the medical droids to help Padme and Anakin. While Senator Organa had hurried to obey his orders, Master Yoda had simply lowered his gaze with an acceptant nod. His eyes seemed to point out what Obi-Wan had been thinking during the whole trip from Mustafar to Polis Massa. Once more his attachment had prevented him from doing the right thing. He had been assigned to a mission; he should have killed Anakin because his former Padawan was a Sith now. A threat to the Republic, a threat even to his own wife. But he just hadn't been able to do it. When Anakin had fallen after the blow, his gaze had been full of disbelief. And in that moment Obi-Wan had seen glimpses of his old Padawan behind the mask of Darth Vader. He had stretched out his hands and had helped the young man before the lava had been able to claim his prey. And the glance full of gratefulness had been enough to convince him he was doing the right thing.
He felt Master Yoda approaching and prepared himself with a deep breath for the inevitable confrontation.
"Saved him you did, hmmm." The master simply stated; the shadow of his disappointment still visible in his eyes.
Obi-Wan lowered his head, "Yes, I did," he replied, "He wasn't totally lost, Master."
The ancient master shook his head slowly, "A Sith he has become. So sure you are? Your weakness it has always been, Master Kenobi. Too attached you are to the people in your life. Qui-Gon's flaws I sense in you."
Obi-Wan swallowed at the accusation. Master Yoda had pointed it out often enough, trying to get the younger man to work on it. But this time Obi-Wan wasn't ready to simply accept it. The Jedi order was dead and so was their code. The only thing remaining was the Force and he had to rely on it.
"With all due respect, Master," he began suppressing the tremble in his voice, "If I had let him there to die, she would have died too. Both of them would have been lost; and with them our only hope of defeating Palpatine. She is the only one who is able to bring him back to the light. She has born his children, Luke and Leia. The Skywalker family will be crucial for a new Jedi order. If they stay together, they will save the Galaxy when the time comes."
The diminutive Master looked up and Obi-Wan could detect surprise in his eyes at the unusual defiance. "Sure are you, that so selfless your motives had been, Obi-Wan?"
The question hang in the room like a shadow. Obi-Wan lowered his head. Leave it to Master Yoda to get straight to the point. He hadn't been able to do it, to kill his best friend, because he had known that the Skywalker family would be crucial. But at the same time he hadn't been able to accept her death. He had known that her heart would have broken if he had left Anakin there to die. He simply hadn't had the heart to do it to her, to this woman who had been in his heart for such a long time. Padme. Thinking about her had urged him to help Anakin. The fear of her disappointed look if he would be forced to tell her that he had killed her one and only love, had gave him the strength to act against duty. He, Obi-Wan Kenobi, one of the most dutiful Masters of the Jedi order, had simply acted out of love for the woman who had accompanied him in the darkest hours of his life. Looking up into Master Yoda's eyes he saw that the Master knew.
"Not so sure you are then," Yoda said with a nod turning around to leave. Then he looked back once more, "Your duty it will be to ensure the Skywalker family's security. Help you Senator Organa will. Into exile I will go. Hope I do, that taken the right decision you have."
Then Obi-Wan was alone. Desperation overtook him but he regained his composure quickly. Master Yoda had given him a new assignment. Probably this was his last mission. He wouldn't fail.
Days later Obi-Wan was standing at the observation window to Anakin's room. The young man hadn't been conscious since they had arrived on Polis Massa. The medical droids had done a good work in applying artificial limps to Anakin's body. His former Padawan would recover. He heaved a sigh of relief at this thought. At Anakin's side sat Padme tears glistening in her eyes. She hadn't spoken to him since the delivery of the twins. He couldn't blame her. He had crippled her husband. She had to be furious at the betrayal of trust he had committed. Feigning to leave her alone only to follow her to Anakin's location had been a nasty trick on his part. Not able to watch her anymore he turned around and fled to his assigned quarters overwhelmed by feelings of guilt.
He panted heavily and tried to find his inner center. He had to think about his mission. Anakin would be waking up soon and the family would need a place to stay. A place where Anakin and Padme would be able to heal, not only from their injuries but from the wounds of their souls. He had enough confidence in Padme's strength to know that she would be able to bring her husband back into the light. She and the children were everything Anakin had ever wanted. He would be a Jedi, a Jedi with a family. This family would be the foundation of a new Jedi order, an order without fear of attachment. Obi-Wan knew that this was right despite everything Master Yoda had told him. Anakin's love for Padme would guide him to the light, without that love he would have been lost.
He tried to meditate when he sensed a presence arriving. He groaned with exhaustion, he hadn't been able to sleep properly since Mustafar and he wasn't in the state of mind to endure a confrontation with Padme. But Padme seemed to be determined to settle things. After days of silence she stood in the door frame looking at him with her expressive brown eyes.
"Obi-Wan?" She asked in a low voice, "May I come in?"
He gave her an acceptant nod gesturing at the table. Both of them sat down slowly. Feeling the lump in his throat he silently looked at her. She was even more beautiful now than before the birth of her children.
"We need to talk about it, Obi-Wan." She said urging him to say something.
He swallowed knowing he owed her this conversation. "I'm sorry, Padme," he forced himself to say. He had been longing to say it to her for days, but now sitting across from her, he wasn't able to do it properly. It seemed too little. He wanted to fall on his knees in front of her asking her forgiveness but even that wasn't enough. So he simply had said 'I'm sorry' and scolded himself for his lack of words.
She shook her head. "What should you be sorry for, Obi-Wan. You saved him. You could have easily killed him but you didn't. After all he's done, you brought him here and offered him another chance. I wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you saved my family...," her voice trailed off, then she continued, "I shouldn't be surprised though. It was an Obi-Wan thing to do."
He looked up into her eyes with an incredulous expression. She wasn't furious then? Had she just thanked him? An Obi-Wan thing? What did that mean? The questions whirled around in his head and he tried to focus on his next words.
"Padme, I betrayed your trust and followed you. The only reason for that was my intention to kill your husband..." he paused, "...and then I nearly killed him. How can you thank me for that?"
"Obi-Wan, you had no other choice. He had changed. The Anakin I saw on Mustafar wasn't my husband. I even don't know if I'd have saved him then. But you...," she stretched out and took his hand in hers, "you didn't give up on him because you love him. You taught me a valuable lesson. I promise you to do anything possible to bring him back."
He squeezed her hand grat
Even after a week on Polis Massa Anakin hadn't shown any signs of movement. He remained in his unconsciousness and neither Padme nor the children were able to wake him up. The droids had informed them that this wasn't uncommon after the shock of losing both legs and that patience was needed.
Obi-Wan had done anything to make the situation more comfortable for Padme. He would take care of the twins and inform Senator Organa regularly about the situation. He would do anything necessary to give her enough space to sit at her husband's side and talk to him. In the evening he would bring the children to bed. After having done everything he would retreat into his quarters trying to meditate.
He was now kneeling on the floor in one more futile attempt to find the calm he needed for meditation. He wasn't able to sleep because nightmares of Mustafar had been haunting him, but meditation didn't seem to be an option. The calm he needed so dearly had vanished. At the moment he wasn't able to recognize himself anymore. His emotions seemed to overwhelm him.
He heard a knock at the door and Padme entered before he was able to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. Embarrassed that she would see him in this state he looked down. She didn't need a Jedi Master at her side, who wasn't able to control himself.
She moved down beside him and made a gesture as if to console him. He flinched away from her, hiding his face, and muttered, "I'm sorry."
This evoked a response he hadn't expected. She rose and glanced at him with fury in her eyes.
"Stop apologizing, Obi-Wan!" She almost yelled. "What do you think you're doing here? Playing the selfless Jedi? Doing anything to keep harm from me? I'll tell you something. The harm is already done and it wasn't you! You're doing everything to help me but you won't give me a chance to pay you back!"
He winced trying to control himself but in that moment something seemed to snap within him and emotion took over. He shoved himself up to be eye to eye with her.
"What I'm doing here? I'm trying to save your family, Padme. The family which brought us into this mess in the first place. The family which isn't even supposed to be there. If you hadn't let him marry you, Anakin wouldn't have violated the code! You should have known better!"
She swallowed at his words then she made a step into his direction obviously not backing away.
"So, you're holding me responsible? I'll tell you who is responsible! This damn code, which forbids to feel anything, is responsible. You Jedi think you can reign over your emotions and in the process you forgot that emotions are a natural part of life. This...," she pointed into the direction of Anakin's room, "This is what comes out of it. If you Jedi hadn't forbidden love, he would have been able to come to you in the first place. He would have asked for your advice. If you had been able to act on your emotions, nothing of that would have happened at all!"
She fell down onto his bed and began to sob. He looked at her with regret. What did she mean? Yes, he had to agree with her, that he should have been more open to Anakin's emotions, but that wasn't what she had said. He felt that there was more.
He sat down at her side and tried to sooth her with the Force. When her sobs abated he asked in a soft tone, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't it have happened?"
She looked into his eyes and he saw everything in them. The same longing, the same sadness, the same love, everything he felt for her, everything he had been burying for years, since he had left Naboo all these years ago. He heaved a deep sigh and took her in his arms. He wasn't able to fight it anymore. He needed to have her near, needed to feel her, needed to feel the love.
She responded to his kiss eagerly and in no time both of them were in a deep embrace clinging to each other as if their life depended on it. Obi-Wan was overwhelmed by his emotions and Padme didn't seem to be willing to stop him. He wasn't even able to realize that she began to open his tunic when he lost himself in the passion of the moment.
After their lovemaking she snuggled into his arms seeking his protection and he held her firmly.
Then he heard her soft voice, "I've always loved you, you know."
He wasn't able to respond and she continued "Back on Naboo, after Master Qui-Gon had died you were so lost. It broke my heart to see you like that. I wanted to help you but you evaded me."
He sighed deeply, "I feared that my emotions would overwhelm me when I gave in. I already loved you then."
She nodded, "I understand now. I understand everything. You were so distant after Geonosis. You couldn't stand to see me with him, could you?"
"I couldn't. And it wasn't my place to counsel Anakin. I turned a blind eye on it because he lived what I had wanted my whole life."
"Now you can have it, Obi-Wan, you know. The Jedi order is no more, there is no code which forbids it. We can finally be together. You are my soul-mate, you have been all these years."
He inhaled her scent and could almost see how they would live together, on Naboo or another place. She would wake up next to him every morning and they would share a few moments alone before the children would enter their room. The children? In the blink of an eye his dream was shattered. Anakin's children, Luke and Leia!
He jerked upright taking her with him. She looked at him with a bewildered expression.
"Padme, we can't do that. You are Anakin's wife, the mother of his children. You have to stay together. You belong together and you know that."
Something seemed to break in her and she turned away looking out of the window of his quarters. He saw her slow nod of acceptance and without a word she took her shirt and got dressed.
His heart broke in the moment she stood there to leave. She couldn't leave him without a word, could she?
But before he was able to stop her, she turned around one last time.
"You are right, it isn't possible. I love the twins and we belong to Anakin. You are the love in my heart but he is my husband...," her voice trailed off but she swallowed once and continued, "Thank you for letting me know. I will hold this night in my heart forever, Obi-Wan."
And then she was gone leaving a cold place at his side where she was supposed to be.
Epilogue:
Obi-Wan Kenobi sat in the sunset of the two suns surrounding Tatooine. Today was a day of celebration. After twenty years the Empire finally had come to an end. The Rebel Alliance had succeeded in killing Palpatine today. Anakin Skywalker and his son Luke had accomplished it. News of the foundation of a new Jedi order filled the Galaxy. Alderaan would be the new capital of a new Republic and Padme Amidala Skywalker would be the first Supreme Chancellor. He felt a deep contentment within him. The years in exile finally had paid off. He had let her go and she had saved the Galaxy. She had kept her promise and had brought the Chosen One back to the light. The sacrifice of their love was nothing compared to that.
He stood up and left for his hut, he wouldn't play a role in the construction of this new world. But he felt a smile on his face at remembering the holovid of the celebrations on Alderaan. The Rebel Alliance had built a memorial and on the plate was written:
"To Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi Master, brother and friend, who holds a deep place in the heart of the Skywalker family."
This was reward enough, wasn't it?