Minifill for a Kink Meme prompt requesting characters doing housework. And, well, I can't resist writing about the Companions.
Disclaimer: Skyrim and the Companions belong to Bethesda.
The only time Jorrvaskr could be said to be thoroughly clean was just around the middle of First Seed, when the spring winds began to blow and the sun melted the snow that capped the roofs of Whiterun. Curiously enough, it was the only time of year the Companions helped poor Tilma with any gusto. The rest of the year, they did what they needed- Vilkas kept his quarters tidy, Ria helped clear the tables after dinner, Farkas clambered onto tables and chairs to fix cracks in the ceiling beams- but, usually, Tilma was on her own.
Tilma did a fair job of keeping the place neat, but after the cold of winter left the mead hall, and before the lazy days of summer reduced them to nothing but sweat, every Companion would pitch in their fair share to make the place sparkling clean once more.
Which, Ria realized just now, was easier said than done.
She worried her lip between her teeth as she watched Vilkas climb up onto a chair on the table in the center of the main hall. "Vilkas, I really don't think that's safe-"
"I've done this dozens of times, Ria," he dismissed with a wave, nearly dropping the rag in his hand. "It's the only way to reach the dust on the beams."
"Are you sure?" Her eyes flitted down to the chair, which suddenly seemed rather unstable. "That'd be an awful long way to fall. I just…" She glanced back up to him. "There's got to be an easier way."
"You should see Aela's method." He reached up and- oh, dear, that looked precarious. He swiped his hand over the beam, releasing a cloud of dust. "She had the idea to attach dust rags to arrows and shoot them over the beams, one by one. This is much quicker, I assure you. She got more than one of them stuck in the ceiling."
Ria frowned. "That's not really what I had in mind." She looked down for just a moment, before her eyes perked up and she reached out to grab something. "Here! Get off the chair, please, and just use this instead."
"A broom?" Vilkas scoffed, and Ria had the urge to walk away and find something else to clean entirely. "It won't reach over the corners. Too stiff."
"Not if you attach something to it! Just some leather strips and a something to cover with a rag and-"
But he simply waved his hand again, and she sighed. She loved him, she really did, but he was stubborn as a horker sometimes. Well, most of the time, really. She should have thought of a solution and put it together before he'd climbed up, and then maybe he'd listen.
Vilkas leaned to reach a far spot, and the chair leaned with him.
Crash.
Njada perked her head up as the doors to the mead hall swung open again.
"I told you," Ria muttered, just barely loud enough to hear, as she half-carried Vilkas towards the stairs. "I told you not to climb on that chair."
"I'll be fine. Danica fixed it."
"She also told you not to spend more than a few minutes standing at a time for the next week because your broken leg drained her magic. I don't know if that's fixed." At that, Vilkas merely grunted, and the two headed slowly down the stairs.
Njada snorted as she turned back to the cabinet she'd been scrubbing. She wrenched her arm around to reach the corners, finding the dust that had been caked in there in the time since she'd last cleaned it.
If she just reached and scrubbed a little harder, maybe she could get that dust out quicker than usual. A quick jab of her hand let out a puff of thick dust, and knocked the cabinet hard enough to shake the top.
Thump.
The jug atop the cabinet came down on her head.
Of all the things the Companions did, spring cleaning was by far the most dangerous.