Dear Diary,
Today I had a shower with the guys after quidditch practice, and for the first time I realized that I had a small penis. I tried to conceal it, but they saw me anyway. Fred and George made a joke about it, and everyone laughed. It made me feel sad, but I forced myself to laugh anyway.
Dear Diary,
Today I thought naughty thoughts about my friend Hermione. I couldn't talk to her today, because I felt guilty. I really hope I forget all about this soon.
Dear Diary,
Ron tried to sleep in my bed again. Had to push him out by force.
Dear Diary,
Malfoy came out of the closet today *the letters break off as Harry laughed uncontrollably while writing this pun* Hahahahahaha… Ahem… Dumbledore's dead though.
Dear Diary,
I've still not managed to forget my naughty fantasies about Hermione. Starting to get annoying. Haven't talked to her for ages! I'll have to try harder.
Dear Diary,
Jackpot! (Found Ginny in the chamber of secrets)
Dear Diary,
If I were to have sex with a guy polyjuiced into a girl, would that make me gay? Note to self: Ask Dumbledore.
Dear Diary,
Ron tried to sleep in my bed AGAIN! Note to self: Set up traps before sleeping.
Dear Diary,
Please don't write back, like that OTHER diary I had. It turned out to be a total bitch. Diaries are better when they just keep shut and don't make stupid remarks about my entries.
Dear Diary,
Moaning Myrtle watched me as I bathed… And I am NOT making this up! She did, she was totally eating me with her eyes. Alright! Now for the living chicks!
Dear Diary,
Tried inviting Hermione to bathe with me. Didn't have the intended effect.
Dear Diary,
Tried inviting Ginny to bathe with me. Note to self: Don't make stupid suggestions to girls while they are holding sharp objects.
Dear Diary,
Tried inviting Cho Chang to bathe with me. Success!
Dear Diary,
Draco ate a chair this morning. Really odd. I'll keep investigating.