I was trying a different writing style with this one-shot, and I suppose it turned out all right. The parts contained in the hyphens are supposed to be little side notes. I hope it's not too confusing lol. It started out as a song fic to Katy Perry's song E.T., but it somehow evolved beyond being a song fic.
And Disgruntled Minion, you've been tagged! XD Genre: Romance/Angst. Prompt: Affair. Quote: "I know this is wrong, but I just can't stop."
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.
It all began one afternoon during the summer. That day had been particularly humid and hot, with no relief in sight. It had only grown worse as the day wore on. By the time the sun was at the highest point in the sky, Ciel thought that he would simply burst into flames from the heat.
As he took another sip from his – fourteenth? – cup of lemonade, he caught sight of Sebastian outside in the garden, tending to the roses. He didn't understand how the demon could stand to be outside in this heat. Then again, Sebastian was most likely used to the fires of Hell, which no doubt burned hotter than the sun of this world.
Time dragged by, and Ciel soon discovered that he'd barely done any work. Knowing that Sebastian would scold him for being lazy – Sebastian was the servant. Why should he be allowed to scold the master of the house? – he hurried through some documents, glancing them over quickly before signing them or setting them aside to be thrown away.
"My, my, Young Master. You've barely done anything today."
Ciel growled, "It's too damn hot."
The demon butler exhaled softly. "Young Master, that is hardly an excuse. Even though the weather is hot, I still have done my work."
"You're not human," Ciel shot back. "I highly doubt that this heat bothers you even slightly."
Sebastian looked surprised. "Why do you say that?"
"Hell, Sebastian. Is it not hotter there than it is here?"
A smile crossed the older man's face. "Ah, indeed, it is. Well then, Young Master, there is something for you to be thankful for." At Ciel's incredulous look, he explained. "Hell is hotter than England, Young Master. Therefore, you can be glad that you do not have work to do in Hell."
Ciel snorted, finishing off his lemonade with a loud slurp, which earned him a disapproving glare from Sebastian. He ignored the gaze and spoke. "That does nothing for me, Sebastian. It is still too hot to do anything." Seeing that his butler was about to argue, he hurried on. "Find a way to cool me down from this heat, and I just might finish these." He gestured to the documents on the desk.
Sebastian's eyes gleamed dangerously. "Is that an order?"
Ciel held his stare, not looking away for even a second. "Yes."
"Very well then, My Lord," Sebastian fairly purred, bringing his left hand to his mouth. He slowly pulled at the glove with his teeth, removing it from his hand. He let it dangle from his mouth a bit longer than necessary, then did the same with the other glove.
Ciel, meanwhile, was staring at him with narrowed eyes, wondering just what had gotten into the demon. He feared that he had misspoken his order in some way – Wasn't Sebastian always telling him to carefully phrase his orders? – as Sebastian walked towards him.
Ciel instinctively shrank back against his chair, willing his body to move right through the solid frame. His breath caught in his throat when Sebastian reached up and untied the bow around his neck. He then proceeded to undo the buttons on Ciel's shirt.
The boy quickly swatted the arms away. "What are you doing?" He hissed.
"I'm merely following your orders, Young Master," Sebastian stated plainly, as though talking to a young child. – For was that not what Ciel was?
Color flooded Ciel's cheeks as he clutched at his shirt. "By removing my clothing?"
"It is necessary, Young Master, for what I am about to do. Now, if you would move your arms..." And Sebastian lightly grasped both of Ciel's wrists with one hand, effectively stopping Ciel from obstructing the progression of his order. With the other hand, he unbuttoned his master's shirt. "There we are."
Ciel was eying him warily. The demon had a habit of taking his orders and twisting them to suit his own desires, so he could only imagine what he had in –
Oh...
Ciel's eyes widened as he stared down at Sebastian's hands, which were currently lightly brushing against his chest. Sebastian's touch hadn't been what Ciel was expecting. He'd thought that Sebastian's skin would be hot, like the very flames of Hell itself. But it wasn't. Instead, his skin was cold, chasing away the heat brought on from the humid day. However, a different type of heat was worming its way throughout his body.
"Sebastian, I thought I told you to cool me down," he managed to snarl. But did his voice crack?
"What you said, Young Master, was, 'Find a way to cool me down from this heat,'" Sebastian smiled. "You did not say that, in order to do that, I could not make you hot another way. Besides, I do believe my hands are cold, if those shivers are any indication. Yet from what you said, am I to believe that you are still hot? May I inquire as to the reason?" He asked, but Ciel knew that he did not require an answer. No, the demon already knew. Ciel could read it in his gleaming eyes, the twisted smirk on his lips.
"Enough!" Ciel gasped, wrenching his arms free and again slapping Sebastian away. "I'm sure you have other duties to attend to."
"My apologies." Sebastian bowed before quickly buttoning Ciel's shirt and redoing the bow. "If you need nothing else, then I shall take my leave."
Ciel said nothing, keeping his eye fixed on a document he appeared to be studying rather intently. Sebastian waited another moment, then bowed and turned towards the door, shutting it with a soft click.
Once Ciel was certain Sebastian was gone, he sank against the chair, feeling himself tremble slightly.
What was that?
People feared Sebastian. They could not understand how one man could be so powerful, so strong. Most of all, they could not understand how Ciel was not afraid of him. After all, even though Ciel was an earl and the Queen's watchdog, he was obviously no match for Sebastian's physical strength. What would happen, they wondered, if the butler were to one day tire of catering to Ciel's whims and desires? What would Ciel do then?
Sebastian wasn't from this world. He wasn't even a human. He appeared human, but that wasn't his true form. – No, Ciel had seen his true form five years ago. He never told Sebastian, but he would often have nightmares with the demonic form.
Sebastian was a demon in human form.
He taught Ciel many things. How to – kiss, and bite, and thrust – use his power, both Ciel's own power and the demon's power. Using the demon's power was intoxicating. He felt high, powerful – like nothing could beat him. But he had to be careful. Even though Sebastian was bound to obey him by contract, that did not necessarily mean that he would be safe – especially from Sebastian himself.
Ciel learned that lesson the hard way, one time after abusing the contract's power. He made many demands of Sebastian, changing his mind often and criticizing Sebastian when he did not do it correctly. – Although Sebastian could certainly not be the one to blame.
The demon played along for a time, but soon there had been the straw that broke the camel's back. Ciel called him into the office, stating that he was hungry for something sweet. Sebastian, being the ever dutiful butler, proclaimed that sweets would ruin his appetite for dinner. Nevertheless, Ciel insisted, even going so far as to use the contract, ordering Sebastian to bring him something sweet.
Since Ciel had not specified what type of sweets he preferred, Sebastian made the selection – a glass of sweetened iced tea. Needless to say, Ciel was not been amused, flinging the cup to the side. It shattered on the wood floor, the liquid seeping along the grooves. And then he began yelling, calling his butler an incompetent fool who could not even get a simple order correct.
Ciel was soon silenced by a hand around his throat, long, black-tipped fingernails digging into the soft flesh of his neck.
"You forget what you are," the demon hissed. "Yes, you may be my master, but you are still human. And humans bleed and break. Yes, I may be bound to you by a contract, but there may come a time when I may not obey you."
"Then I shall simply order you to obey me," Ciel replied haughtily, then gasped as he felt the sting of a sharp nail twist into his skin.
Sebastian chuckled darkly. "My Lord, it would be very easy for me to stop you from speaking a single word." He applied light pressure on Ciel's throat, causing the boy to gasp heavily for a breath. "Very easy, indeed. Do not ever forget that." His glowing red eyes stared his master down, until Ciel looked away, lest the demon see the fright in his eye. – It did not matter if Sebastian could see it or not, he could smell the fear radiating from the boy's body.
The butler left then, with a small bow and a promise to make something sweet for dessert after dinner. Ciel glanced to the left, spotting the broken teacup. He shuddered then, for he realized that, as easy as it was for him to break the china, it would be that much easier for Sebastian to break his body.
Even though Ciel knew that Sebastian was dangerous, he wanted him. He wanted his kisses. He wanted his – love? – attention. He wanted Sebastian inside of himself. To be entwined, tangled in the sheets and Sebastian's body.
Ciel had a hard time feeling safe. He'd been kidnapped, abused, and used countless times. He was always looking over his shoulder, waiting and watching for someone to swoop down and steal him away. – Especially Them. Even though Sebastian had slaughtered the cult, he had no doubt that there were others just like Them – sick, psychotic men, willing to use a small boy to fulfill Their own sick, twisted desires.
He recalled the nightmares he had after he first returned home with Sebastian. The terror that seized his throat, making it impossible for him to scream. – At least, in his dreams. Outside his dreams, he screamed bloody murder. One could hear the screams from any place in the mansion. – At first, he would let no one touch him to comfort him, but soon had allowed Sebastian to gently hold him until the trembling and fear subsided.
Now that he was older, he had dreams. – They were still nightmares, but he refused to call them as such. At fifteen years of age, boys never had nightmares. – Sebastian was the only one who could touch him and not be clawed at in terror. Sebastian's touch was gentle and soothing, and even from deep within his dream – nightmare – filled sleep, he recognized that it was Sebastian who touched him. Upon awakening, Ciel would cling to his demonic butler, their mouths connected as he turned his thoughts to something more pleasant – He hated the dreams, specifically the ones where They mocked him, touched him, raped him. He always felt dirty after those dreams, but Sebastian was always there to take away the memories, his lips replacing Theirs, his hands instead of Theirs, and...oh...
The first time they slept together was awkward, messy, and completely unplanned. They were on one of the Queen's missions. There had been rumors of a cult wandering about, tricking people into joining, only to sacrifice them later.
Cults had always been a sore spot for Ciel, but he wasn't about to turn it down. The Queen depended on him, and it would show weakness if he were to refuse. He was frightened. He had no idea who these people were, if they were connected to the cult that had kidnapped him five years ago. To make matters worse, no one would talk about the cult. The people were terrified, as well. If they spoke up, would they be cursed? Would demons chase after them and devour their souls? The only way to catch them, he and Sebastian had concluded, was for Ciel to be captured.
And so Ciel became the bait. And they had taken it. They snatched him away, taking him to one of their safe meeting places. The plan had been for Ciel to uncover his eye and summon Sebastian to his location, but the cult whispered to him that they knew what his butler was. They knew of the contract five years ago. So his eye remained covered, and Ciel was unable to call on Sebastian. They were even careful with the mark on his back, making sure to keep it covered as well, in case Ciel were able to use it to summon a more powerful being.
For twenty-four hours, he was at their mercy. It was Them all over again. The beatings, the rapes. The pain, the suffering. When they finally left him alone, he was tied up, barely conscious, tired, and sore. Yet he was desperate for Sebastian to find him. He scraped his head against the floor, willing the thin string of his eye patch to catch on something and break. Finally, it had.
Weakly, he called Sebastian. No sooner had he done so, than did he lose consciousness, the agonizing screams of the dying filling the air. He woke minutes later to fingers gently probing his bruised body, trying to find any serious, life-threatening injuries. His hazy vision focused on Sebastian, who apologized for being so late.
With strength he didn't know he had, Ciel latched onto the demon's tie, yanking him down to meet his lips, not caring about the still-wet blood of the men on Sebastian's clothing. – How could he care? He was covered in blood himself. – In between kisses, he ordered Sebastian to make him his. Sebastian had done so, but not without a concerned look on his face. Ciel was traumatized, not knowing what he was saying. He feared that Ciel would come to regret his decision later on, perhaps even accuse him of taking advantage of his vulnerable state.
But Ciel didn't. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Ciel, even though he'd been in great pain, remembered vividly what had transpired between the two of them that night, surrounded by the bodies of the cult. Sebastian's touch had – mostly – erased the memory of the others, and Ciel found himself wanting it more and more.
Ciel wanted to know everything about Sebastian. He wanted to know the little things that made him tick. – The things that made him moan and groan. – He loved the way Sebastian moved against his body, the way Sebastian shuddered when he came.
Ciel knew the consequences of his affair with Sebastian should they be discovered. It was illegal for two males to have a romantic – although Ciel could hardly call it that; intimate was the more appropriate word – relationship. He didn't care, though. If they were found out and he was thrown in jail or sentenced to death, he would simply call for Sebastian to take him away. Yes, after that, he would have lost his status and wealth, but he would still have Sebastian.
So he would win in the end, no matter what.
Still, Ciel wasn't sure what to make of his relationship with Sebastian. He only knew that he wanted – desired – ached – to have Sebastian with him. If the demon was only using him, then so be it. He was using Sebastian, as well.
Sebastian was merely a weapon for Ciel to wield. He was to obey Ciel's every order, without question and without hesitation. He was a pawn.
And yet, Ciel could not help but think that Sebastian was much more than a simple pawn. No, Sebastian was the knight, he decided. He was too valuable to be cast aside.
Which raised the question, was Ciel lying to himself when he said that he was only using Sebastian? If Sebastian was indeed an important piece – a knight – then Ciel would be lying. After all, if he was just using Sebastian, then the demon would simply be a pawn, and Ciel would not feel anything if he were to suddenly disappear. But Ciel knew that that was not the case. If Sebastian disappeared, then everything would crumble. And so the conflicting thoughts and emotions continued.
And Ciel was left wanting Sebastian, and yet not wanting him. He felt strong when Sebastian was there with him, and yet he felt weak and pathetic. This demon had invaded his personal space, squeezing his way into Ciel's life and thoughts until the boy could hardly stand it.
Try as he might, Ciel could not stay away from Sebastian. The dark being had intrigued him, seduced him, drawing him deeper and deeper into a web of sin and lust. And even though Sebastian could be cruel and merciless to – Ciel and – those who stood in Ciel's way, the earl was entirely lost, adrift on a sea of passion filled with teeth and tongues and fingernails and rough kisses.
Yes, Ciel knew when this all had begun. He also knew that it would end with his downfall.
And yet he couldn't bring himself to care.