I've always loved Connie's relationship with Lily, but the small scene with Connie and Alicia in the episode the other day was so lovely and heartwarming. This was just a random idea that came to me, set when Alicia comes back to work.
Alicia felt sick.
She couldn't remember the last time that she'd been called to Connie's office. Connie's office was like some kind of haunted house, where people went in but no one came out. No, she knew that she was just being silly and dramatic. It wasn't actually that bad. Yes, Connie called people in when they were in trouble but they never usually got more than a simple scolding. Alicia wasn't exactly sure what she'd done wrong though.
She hovered outside the office door for a good five minutes, before finally plucking up the courage to walk in. She knocked lightly, waited for Connie to call her in, and turned the handle with a shaking hand.
"You - You wanted to see me, Mrs Beauchamp?" She stuttered.
"Indeed. Take a seat," Connie said, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk with her pen.
Alicia gulped and closed the door behind her. She dropped her bag onto the floor and sat down in the chair in complete silence.
"How are you feeling?" Connie asked quite simply.
She had on a white blouse with her usual black trousers and heels. Alicia was pleased to see that her hair was slowly beginning to grow back already. Although the clinical lead suited it short, it was a horrible reminder of the tragic time that she'd been through.
Alicia felt quite underdressed compared to her, but she hadn't had a lot of time that morning. She wore jeans, a white shirt and a brown jacket, and her hair was tied in a messy ponytail that was starting to unravel already.
"I'm okay," Alicia replied in a quiet voice.
"Bit early to be back at work, isn't it?" She then asked.
Alicia looked down and began to anxiously pick at her fingernails. She slowly lifted her head with a sigh, and forced a small smile for Connie.
"I wanted to come back," she said. "Otherwise I'd just be sat at home, thinking about it."
A single tear rolled down one side of her face, and Connie felt so much heartbreak and sympathy for her. In a way, she blamed herself. If they hadn't hired Eddie, none of this would have happened. How were they supposed to know though? How were they supposed to know that he'd rape one of his colleagues? He had no criminal record and his references had been perfect.
"Hey, do you want a cup of tea?" Connie offered and handed her a tissue from the box on her desk. "I'll go and make you one."
Alicia faintly nodded and dabbed at her watery eyes with the tissue.
"I'll be back in a second," Connie said and stood up. "Milk? Sugar?"
"Milk, please," Alicia coughed. "No sugar. Thank you."
Alicia helped herself to a couple more tissues, as Connie left the room to make the tea. The junior doctor turned and glanced out of the window to see that everyone was busy and happy in their work. She wished she was. She wished that she none of this had ever happened, she wished that she hadn't given Eddie the wrong impression, she wished that she could just turn back time. Everything was her fault.
She turned back round in her chair and winced, as pain shot through her. Although she'd been discharged, her injuries still hadn't healed properly. She felt lucky to be alive though. During her first night in hospital, she'd had a nightmare about being thrown through the window and she'd woken up in a sweat and a panic. Ethan had been there though and he'd held her and calmed her down, until she was able to fall asleep again.
Connie returned with two steaming hot mugs of tea, and set one of them down on the desk in front of Alicia. Alicia gave her a grateful smile and lifted the mug to her mouth, blowing on it before taking a sip. The tears were still in her eyes, she just couldn't shift them.
"I also have this in my top drawer," Connie said, pulling out half a Toblerone and setting it on the desk between them. "I like to have a nibble every now and then, especially on a stressful day like today. Help yourself."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Alicia asked.
"Because you've been through a lot," Connie said, breaking off a bit of chocolate for herself. "And you need a friend right now. I know that you think it might be your fault Alicia but it isn't, and you need to try and believe that a bit more. My staff think that I'm a witch, even Charlie thinks that, but I do care. Trust me."
Silence.
"You should go home anyway," Connie sighed. "You shouldn't be here. It's too soon."
Alicia shook her head immediately and placed her almost empty mug down on the desk.
"I can't," she said.
"Why?" Connie asked.
"I - I guess I'm scared of being at home by myself," Alicia said. "You saw what happened. What if - What if it happens again?"
"It won't," Connie said.
"I'm still scared though," Alicia began to cry again. "I hate it, but I am. I - I just want these feelings to go away, but I just can't shift them. I feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever."
"You won't be," Connie whispered. "I promise you that we are going to do everything we can to help you. You will get the help, Alicia. I promise." She smiled gently and said, "Myself, Ethan, and everyone else is just on the other end of the phone if you need to talk to us. It's too soon for you to be back at work though."
"Sorry," she apologised as her tears began to fall harder.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Connie said. "I don't ever want to hear you apologising for this again."
She wiped at her eyes and nodded, helping herself to some chocolate. Connie was right. Tea and chocolate always seemed to help.
"You okay?" Connie asked, as Alicia wiped her tears away again.
Alicia nodded and glanced around the office. She caught sight of a photo on the wall that was taken at Charlie's birthday party and smiled. Everyone looked so happy, and it was nice to see that the clinical lead had sentimental stuff in her office. She didn't come across that way, but this photo showed that she actually did care for her staff and that no one should judge her just by the way she talks to people. One person in the photo particularly stood out for Alicia, and that was Lily. She was sat next to Ethan, smiling from ear to ear.
"Do you miss her?" Alicia asked through her tears, and had another sip of her tea. "Lily?"
"Every day of my life," Connie sighed. "It sounds silly. I saw a lot of myself in Lily though and I cared deeply about her. She was a good doctor, very talented with a big future ahead of her, and it feels weird that she won't be coming back."
"She might do one day," Alicia said, her tears slowly subsiding.
"Maybe." Connie shrugged her shoulders. "But I think she'll be too busy enjoying herself in Hong Kong. She's gone and made herself a new and better life out there, she won't want to come back to Holby. She won't want anything to do with us anymore."
Connie kept her eyes on the photo that Alicia had been looking at, and she looked close to crying herself.
"I'm proud of her though," Connie said. "Extremely proud."
"You should call her," Alicia said. "Surely you still have her mobile number."
"I don't know." Connie shrugged.
"You should," Alicia said. "Lily really looked up to you. I'm sure that she'd love to hear from you."
"I'll think about it," Connie said and held the chocolate bar out to her.
Alicia broke a little bit off and dipped it into her tea, giggling before biting into it. The two of them then just sat there in silence, examining the photograph and enjoying their hot drink and Toblerone.
"Do you want to stay in here for a bit?" Connie asked.
She could tell that Alicia wasn't ready to leave the office just yet, and she didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was.
"If you don't mind," Alicia whispered. "If you need to go back to work though, that's fine. I can let myself out."
"No, I'm happy to stay with you," Connie said kindly. "Also, I think that the two of us should meet weekly to discuss your progress. It's going to take you a while to get through this and I don't want you feeling as if you have no one to talk to. If it's okay with you, we can make this meeting number one and then have another one next week."
"That sounds okay. Thank you for this, Mrs Beauchamp," Alicia whispered. "When I heard that you wanted to talk to me, I thought I was in trouble."
"Now, why would you think that?" Connie laughed. "You're one of the best in this ED and if there's one thing that I want you to take away from this conversation, it's that. Just like Lily, you have a huge future ahead of you. It's up to you where you take your skills. You might want to relocate like Lily, or you might decide that the ED is where you belong. If that's the case, then I have no doubt that it will be you sitting in this chair one of these days."
"Do you mean that?" Alicia asked.
"Of course," Connie said. "You're incredibly bright and ambitious, Alicia. Keep at it."
"Thank you," she said.
She felt more tears in her eyes form in her eyes, as she helped herself to another bit of Toblerone. They were happy tears this time though. She felt so happy and grateful to have such lovely kind and friends and colleagues. She knew how hard things were going to be and what happened with Eddie would stay with her for the rest of her life, but she felt lucky to have the support.
"I think I'm okay to head home now," Alicia said. "Thank you for talking to me though."
"You're welcome," Connie said, and the two of them got out of their chairs. "Take care of yourself," Connie said and placed a gentle hand on Alicia's shoulder. "You know where I am and you have my number as well. Call if you need anything."
"I will do," Alicia said, looking once again at the photo behind Connie. "And you're going to give Lily a ring, right?"
"You know what, I think I might call her this evening," Connie said. "Before I go to bed."
"Good," Alicia said. "Thank you, Mrs Beauchamp."
"No." Connie shook her head and gave the junior doctor a warm and comforting smile. "Thank you. I'm very proud of you. You've been so brave and you're certainly an inspiration to us all. You're going to go far in life, Doctor Munroe."
I had no idea how to end this one-shot, so the ending isn't great. I really enjoyed writing the rest of it though and I hope you liked it as well. It is just a one-shot though I'm afraid. Thanks for reading everyone and let me know what you think x