AN: Don't know where this came from...No one asked for it...But here it is...Enjoy!
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Glimpse of a Mother
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The incandescent lights warming the quaint cafe with its gentle rays quietly hummed in the otherwise serene and cool spring night. By that hour, the brew master had been drying his last set of coffee cups; placing them decoratively on the deep walnut shelves behind the counter. Waitresses were wiping down the tables from the last few customers of the night, while others erased the unwanted fingerprints from the glass display of small cakes and pastries. As the moon rose higher, the small cafe was slowly dwindling to a close.
Very few remained: The night security man of the building from across the street, the college student in need of a late night pick me up, and the married couple who always sat at the same table in the back near the small terrace of potted flowers and plants.
"One or two?"
"Three!" Isshiki chirped.
Nene sighed while grabbing the three small servings of creamer, handing them to him. "I really don't understand how you don't get a stomach ache." She commented, tearing off the foil of one and stirring it into her own coffee as well. The two frequented the cafe every month or so after their dinner service finishes. He would pick her up after the restaurant was all closed up and take her here. He enjoyed the romantic ambiance while she simply liked their special house blend. They would place the last orders of the night before settling down to listen to each other's day: the order mix ups, the customers, compliments and complaints; all of it. It was a habit they both formed; he liked to call it a date.
"I wonder too." He joked. Nene was so absorbed in the swirling pattern of the cream in the dark liquid that she failed to notice her husband holding out a fork with a piece of the cake to her. "Nene~" he called, grabbing her attention.
"I have my own fork too you know." She reminded him softly.
"I know." He simply smiled, still choosing to hold the fork in place. Giving in, Nene leaned in and accepted the bite while he gently slid the fork from her lips.
"Mm. Raspberry."
"Pretty good, huh?" He agreed while using the side of his fork to cut another piece.
The two continued on their normal discussions. A bunch of did you hears, so and so did this, I didn't know, this...what about that… When the conversation slowly died down, he rested his head against his hand, cerulean eyes softly admiring her calm expression and lovely eyes. He finally asked her the question that had been weighing his mind for awhile. "Do you want children?"
Her eyes widened, almost spilling the coffee on her while she coughed, choking on the warm liquid she was in the middle of swallowing. He jerked up at her reaction. She hastily set the cup on the table and turned away to covered her coughs with one hand, while the other was held up, silently telling him to calm down.
"Are you alright?" He asked, holding out his napkin to her, which she gladly took.
"I'm- I'm fine." She said hoarsely. Wiping her mouth, she used it to cover her flushed cheeks. "Where...Where did that come from?"
Relieved, he relaxed his shoulders and settled back into the chair. "I was just thinking about it. We never really talked about it before." He shifted slightly in his seat, avoiding eye contact before softly asking, "Well, do you?"
"Do you?" She threw the question back.
"I asked you first." He huffed before a pause to look up at her and smile. "Yeah. I would like to have children. Let's start a family together, Nene."
She sat there, wide eyed and speechless by his honesty. Throughout their two years of marriage, the topic was never seriously discussed. He would joke about it here and there, but never had he talked about the next step with such sincerity.
A...A...A child? Like a...A baby? Can we even take care of one? I don't know anything about children! I, I don't know. She internally panicked. I trust him. I know were stable right now, but can I trust myself with something like this! What if...What if….What if-
"You...Don't want to?" He asked hesitantly while his smile slightly straightened, breaking her from those inner thoughts.
"No! I- I mean yes! Wait- no, I mean-" She stammered. "I- I-, want children too." Nene finally managed to utter in her flustered state. "But…"
"But?"
She looked down, fidgeting with her thumbs that rested in her lap. "I'm just scared. I don't know much about...babies." She confessed as her hands flew up to hide her face.
Satoshi couldn't help but burst into a laugh, much to his wife's chagrin. "Nene, that's a part of the process. No one goes into it knowing everything." He assured her, "I'm confident you'll be a great mother."
"I don't know about that. I'm not very good with kids." She mumbled.
"I don't believe that."
"I make them all cry or hate me. I can't stand crying so when I try to comfort them-"
"Nene~" He sang, "I'm not saying to start right now. I'll be more than happy to wait until your ready. But, it's nice to know were on the same page." His eyes smiled along with his mouth, as his hands held hers. In his eyes was what Nene could read as hope and excitement, perhaps for the future.
She turned her head to hide in embarrassment, and pulled the cup up to her lips. Before taking a sip, she murmured something, ever so quietly. So quiet in fact, had it not been for the empty cafe he'd might not have heard it.
"I think you'll be a good father too."
It's too hot. Even sitting under the cool shade in the park didn't help to cool her down in the terrible summer heat. She felt the icky sensation of the thin fabric of her blouse sticking to her back while her ashy green bangs were matted to her forehead with sweat. She was seated on a small wooden park bench, legs crossed with hands resting neatly on top of her knees. The hot breath of the wind billowed her skirt, making the edges dance along her calf. The two used to be seated next to one another. Used to. Now, she's stuck watching her idiot husband play soccer with a group of ten year-olds on the grass.
It all started when the ball was kicked towards them on accident. Satoshi, saving the kids from having to run all the way there, kicked the ball back to a small little boy in a number four jersey. In awe, the boy asked if he wanted to play with the group; pleading that they only needed one more member to form teams. Reluctant to say anything, the brunette turned to Nene for approval. Knowing the giant child he was, she also could tell he wanted to play. So after a sigh, she nodded slightly.
Kids have too much energy. She couldn't help but think watching the group run across the field chasing after the ball. It was nice seeing him interact with the boys and girls though, Nene admitted. Her heart fluttered a bit at his gentle smile whenever he passed the ball, or when he would initiate the round of high fives to everyone when someone made a goal between the two trees. So energetic. So kind. So...fatherlike.
Deciding she would rather be productive than to wait the entire game, so stood up and called to her husband. "Satoshi! I'm getting ice cream. Do you want any?"
He paused his jog midplay. "I'll just share off of whatever you get!" He yelled back. She grabbed her purse and headed towards the small ice cream stand at the edge of the path. Clearly, she hadn't been the only one with the idea because the line was long.
Finally, after 20 minutes of indecisive children and arguing parents, Nene managed to head the front of the line where she couldn't help but roll her eyes at the six measly options to select from. The sweaty, overworked teenager grabbed Nene's popsicle from the freezer and handed it nicely to her over the counter in a small plastic bag. "That will be 300 yen."
On her way back, she thought to take a light stroll, observing the fresh green around her, listening to the soft chirps and rustling leaves. The laughter of children and mumbles of couples. The approaching patter of small shoes on the pavement and the sudden thud on the ground. Wait-
Nene quickly turned around only to be met with a small body sprawled on the floor. The little boy, maybe four or five years old, had fallen forward on the pavement, dropping his ice cream all over the ground. She rushed over to the boy, who still had not managed to get himself up. Crouching down, she picked the boy up by his cradling his torso, gently placing him back on his feet. She dusted off the small rocks indented in his knees and checked his hands and arms for any scratches. Noticing the small cut on his left hand, she dug through her purse to find disinfectant and bandaids (she is always prepared). "I'm sorry okay, this will sting a bit." She warned before gripping the boys hands and patting the alcohol wipes to the open cut. His hands recoiled at the sting but she continued her treatment. Finally placing the bandaid on the cut, she gently ran her index finger along the edge to ensure it was stuck on. "Okay, you're all fine now-"
She was so carried away with administering first aid that she totally forgot to look up at the boys face, which at the moment were streaming with tears and mucus. Taken aback by the presence of a crying child, Nene could only stare nervously. "Uh, does anywhere else hurt?" She asked hesitantly. The boy shook his head. "Then why are you still crying?"
The boy pointed past her, towards the melted popsicle on the ground. "My...my ice cream…" The boy sobbed.
Nene looked towards the small puddle of blue liquid and then back to the boy. She pressed her lips together and sighed exasperatedly, growing annoyed at the boy's utter ridiculousness. "Well, whose fault is it that they were running in the first place?" She stated bluntly.
"But...but-"
"There is no "but", you shouldn't have been running." Nene scolded. The boy's frown intensified and his glassy eyes widened. Oh no. Nene was met with the loud wails of the crying child, not sure if he was mourning the loss of his beloved ice cream, or was scared of the random lady scolding him.
Meanwhile, Satoshi had finished his little soccer match. He made his way towards the stand, wondering what was taking his wife so long. "Ne-...ne?" He called once he spotted her; she was crouched on the ground talking to a little boy who was currently crying. What is she doing?
She was panicking. What luck does she have to get herself into these situations. She looked around for help, wondering if anyone was noticing the crying child too. "Hey…" She said gently. No change. "Um...little boy?" Nothing. Finally growing tired of the loud sobs in her face, she sighed loudly and squeezed her eyes shut. Placing her three central fingers on his chubby cheeks, she roughly smushed around the kid's face until he quieted down in surprise. "That's better." She whispered.
"Okay. Did you learn your lesson?" The boy nodded. "Which is?"
"To not run." He sniffled.
"Good, good. Now blow your nose." She said holding a napkin to his face, to which the boy blew hard into it. Wiping the rest of the snot and tears, she adjusted her glasses before looking the kid again in the eyes. "What's your name?"
"Satoru."
"Well Satoru, do you promise not to run around anymore?" Nene asked.
"Yes." He nodded, exaggerating his head movements.
"Okay then." Nene said before taking the small plastic bag from around her wrist and placing it in the child's grip. He peered inside the bag to see a newly packaged Gari Gari in it's bright blue wrapper. He looked up to Nene again, in awe this time. "Where are your parents?"
"Mama's over there." Satoru pointed to a woman on phone, sitting on the bench at the other end of the path.
"Make sure you share with her alright?" Nene smiled lightly while ruffling his hair, causing the boy to crack a toothy smile and dimple his cheeks.
"Thank you, Onee-san!" The boy beamed as he passed Nene, approaching his own mother. Nene groaned while pushing herself up on her thighs, complaining at the aches from squatting too long. She saw the boy's mother gesture to his hand and the plastic bag, to which he pointed back at Nene. From a distance, she made eye contact with the woman, before the mother bowed towards Nene apologetically. She simply returned the bow, embarrassed. Tucking the stray hair behind her ears, she watched the boy and mother leave the park hand and hand before she continued back to the bench.
"Nene!" Satoshi called to her. She turned towards the sounds of the call, seeing her husband to her right.
"You're done already?" She asked.
"Yeah." He replied, smiling at her gently; gaze fixed on her.
"What is it?" Quipped Nene.
"Oh...uh." Deciding it was better to not let Nene know that he saw the entire exchange prior, Satoshi played dumb instead. "Where's the ice cream?' He grinned.
"Ah...I changed my mind." She covered smoothly, before turning away from him. "Come on, let's go."
"Mm" Satoshi said, jogging up to her to side, holding her hand in his.
The dull morning sky had just begun to brighten, tinged with the golden yellow and orange of the rising sun. Nene had always been an early riser, finding herself more productive in the morning. Her ruby eyes blinked slowly, focusing her blurred vision on the white ceiling above her. Rolling over slightly, she turned towards her husband who was still deep in sleep.
She sat up slowly; yawning softly and wiping the wears of sleep from her eyes when suddenly, a wave of nausea hit her. It felt like both heavy pounding and lightheadedness at the same time. A hand flew up to her forehead, checking to see if she had a fever but she couldn't detect any. She really just wanted to lie back down and let the dizzy spell go over, but she remembered there were still bills to deal with. So, with a deep breath, she dragged her legs to the edge of the bed and pushed herself off onto her feet. Big mistake.
The moment she got up, it felt as though the room was caught in some earthquake, shaking her vision and making the room go fuzzy. Losing her balance, Nene sat back down on the edge of the bed, closing her eyes and massaging her right temple. Why is my heart beating so fast? Maybe I am getting si-
She didn't have a chance to finish her thought when the sudden convulsion of her chest left an acidic taste in her mouth and burning sensation of bile in her throat. She quickly shifted her hand to her mouth, covering whatever threatened to burst out. Now, she was running. She barely had the time to slam the door of the bathroom shut before her body lurched again. She sunk her knees into the tile floor in front of the toilet, this time vomiting violently.
The sounds of muffled wet coughs and heavy breathing woke Satoshi from his sleep. He sat up dazed and confused as to what in the world was going on. He noticed the empty bed and the shut bathroom door, then finally another loud retch from inside. He quickly got up, picking up and putting on his discard shirt from the floor as he made his way to the door. The hallow echo of his knocks resounded. "Nene? Are you alright?"
She turned her head towards the door, eyes wide and face pale. "Don't come in!" She warned weakly. Failing to heed her command, he turned the knob anyways.
There she was: knelt besides the toilet, shakily gripping the edge. Her face was white, tears were gathered in the corners of her eyes while sweat matted her hair to her forehead. She was leaned over the bowl heaving before her stomach contracted again, making Satoshi wince at the awful sound. "Didn't I tell you not to come on." She breathed.
He chose to ignore her complaint, instead deciding to kneel besides her. In one hand, he gently gathered her hair to hold it back, the other rubbed small circles into her back as she coughed. It eventually got to the point where Nene had nothing more to throw up. Her neck and back hurt. Her eyes stung and her nose and throat burned. It felt like her stomach was stuck in her chest.
Sensing that her sickness was subsiding, he slowly got up, grabbing two cups from below the sink. He offered the first one of water to her, to which she weakly grabbed to rinse her mouth. The second held mouthwash where she repeated the process. She flushed the contents, carefully lowering the seat cover. Turning around to lean against the wall, she brought her knees to her chest and rested her head on her arms.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, helpless.
"What do you think?" She bit back in a raspy voice. He slowly peeled her arms away from her knees, causing her to lift her head. He placed his hand on her damp forehead, taking a minute to get a reading.
"You don't have a fever. Did you eat anything bad?"
She shook her head slightly, though it didn't last long since it just made her more dizzy. "I ate the same things you did."
"Hm." The brunette said. He paused for a while, leaning against the wall opposite of her. "Are you late?"
"Late? For what?"
"Your period." He clarified.
"Huh?" Her brows furrowed together. "I don't know, it's normally irregular. I'm supposed to get it in a couple of days. Why-" Wait...She cut herself off, getting what he was hinting at.
Deciding she didn't have the energy to be modest, she asked him blankly, "When was the last time we did it?"
"Uh...Maybe like a month ago?" He answered, scratching the back of his neck. "Are you on birth control?"
"No...I needed to get my prescription refilled. Did you use a condom?"
"No."
"Oh." She blinked back, not in shock but rather just in calm realization. "Hey, can you go to the drug store?"
"Yeah, what do you need?" He agreed, helping himself up.
"A test. I think I'm pregnant."
It felt like a flutter at first. But then it transitioned into twitching. Whatever it was, some odd sensation was happening in her lower abdomen. She laid on the couch in the living room, reading a new novel she had found at the store earlier that week.
Placing her thumb on the inner page of the book, she closed it and waited; deciphering the mysterious feeling. She ruled out any hunger cravings or digestion. It didn't feel uncomfortable like any bloated feelings she's felt before. Stretching out to place her book on the coffee table, she then attempted to sit up, failing on her first try and falling back down on the pillow that supported her. Giving up on getting up on her own, she used the back of the couch as a railing to overcome the giant weight of her stomach.
For a 20-weeks pregnant lady, Nene's bump was fairly large. Or maybe it just looked a lot bigger on her small frame. Whatever the case, she got up from the couch and "waddled", in the words of her husband, over to Satoshi who was sitting on the couch perpendicular to her, watching a variety game show on the television.
He didn't really notice she was approaching him until she eclipsed his view of the screen. Looking up from her bump, he gave her a quizzical look. Before he had time to ask her if she needed anything, Nene was already reaching down to grab his hand, guiding it to the underside of her belly while she pressed her other hand against his to keep it there.
Confused, he looked up to her face to see her eyes were closed and breathing soft. He concentrated on her stomach, trying to feel whatever she wanted him to. She simply held his hand there for what felt like minutes, until it happened.
The slight flutter; almost like a weak tap against his palm.
His eyes widened at the sensation, turning his gaze up to her, just in time to see her eyes flutter open and her lips curve slightly. He exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding until now, lips parted in pleasant shock. A breathy laugh left his lips as he stared in awe. "Wow."
Keeping still for a couple more minutes, he waited patiently, greedy for more movements from their child. She couldn't help but smile at his excitement, overcome with a wave of warm feelings. He placed both hands on the sides of her stomach, kissing her belly through the stretch fabric of her shirt just above her navel. Suddenly, he got up from the couch and gently pulled her into a secure hug. Surprised by the gesture, she yelped softly into his chest as she felt him nuzzle her neck.
"Thank you." He whispered.
She dreamed of bright, pulsing light washing over her like the soothing waves of the ocean. The presence comforted her, but the contact ached. The steady ebb and flow continued. She heard the faint sounds of a baby's cries and laughter, feeling the lingering touch of hands. She couldn't tell if it was a nightmare or a dream; confused by the pain she felt but welcomed at the same time.
"Hey, Nene." Satoshi leaned over his wife's side sleeping figure. "Nene. Wake up." He gently shook her shoulder.
"Nngh." She groaned running her hands over her swollen stomach. She woke up to cramping pains in her back.
"You've been moaning in your sleep for awhile." He stated concerned. He knew D-day could occur at any time with his wife being 39-weeks pregnant, even if it was at three-o'clock in the morning. Still groaning into the pillow from her discomfort, she reached blindy to the nightstand to disconnect her phone. The bright light of her screen stinging her eyes in the dark room. He reached over to his stand to turn the lamp on, flooding the room with soft diffused light.
Watching the small white numbers on her screen circulate between zero to nine, slowly ticking away the passing second, he began to grow anxious at the regularity of her contractions.
It was time.
"A bit more gentle, Nagomi." Nene instructed the three year-old.
She was older now, and she felt it in her body as well. Her hair was cut slightly below her shoulders while her eyes had softened from it's former cold gaze. She still managed to maintain her slender and taut figure, even after the stress of pregnancy on her body, even though the faint stretch marks liked to show themselves every now and then. Not only her appearance had changed, but her voice as well; becoming more gentle and calming as the years passed.
Dusting her hands of buckwheat flour, she positioned herself behind the little girl standing on the stool, guiding the small, delicate hands with her own while she gently gathered the dough in the lacquered bowl. "Like this see?"
"Sticky!" The child with the same ashy green hair exclaimed, clenching and unclenching her hands. The little girl in the cute yellow dress had her wavy hair tied back in a ponytail, revealing her small pink lips and nose, chubby cheeks, pale skin and striking blue eyes just like her father's.
"Let's add more flour, okay?" Nene said, sifting more into the bowl.
"You're doing great, Nagomi-chan!" Satoshi cheered from the other side of the kitchen counter, throwing her a thumbs up and a wink. The girl copied the gesture with her floured hands.
"Papa, will it be as good as Mama's?" Her round orbs widened in curiosity.
"Probably even better!"
"Really?" She turned back to Nene, eyes sparking.
"Not yet." Nene said, causing the girl to adorably pout, "but if you practice more I'm sure you'll get better."
"Mama makes the best soba!" bubbled Nagomi, smiling towards Nene. Their daughter went back to focusing on the bowl in front of her, mushing her hands in the dough trying her best to copy her mother's movements beside her.
The girl couldn't help but show shades of both parents. One moment she was so concentrated in kneading the dough, the next she was giggling uncontrollably, lighting up the kitchen and her parent's hearts. She's such a lively child. It had pleasantly surprised Nene when Nagomi pulled on the edge of her apron earlier, asking if she could make soba as well. It sent a warm feeling in her heart to see her child show interest in her passion.
"Ah, my two lovely girls are making soba. What more could I ask for?" doted Satoshi, resting his chin in his palm.
"Why don't you help her roll it out?" Nene said as she brought out the pot to boil the noodles from the covered.
After filling it, she pulled it from the sink to the stove where she was setting it to boil, when she felt a tender peck against her cheek and the slight tickle of his hair against her temple. She turned to her right to see her husband smiling brightly at her. "What was that for?" She asked surprised.
"Just felt like it." He answered, shrugging his shoulders innocently.
"Wait! I wanna kiss Mama too!" The three year-old complained, climbing down from her step stool.
"Ah wait, your hands!" Nene stressed, turning her attention to the child.
At the request of Nagomi's raised arms, Satoshi picked her up to set her at eye level to Nene, where she gave her mother a small kiss on her other cheek. Nene couldn't help but blush at the affection thrown her way.
"What about for Papa?" Satoshi asked hopeful.
"No kiss for Papa!" She pointed at him, giggling mischievously at his surprised face.
"Eh!?"
Nene couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of her. Her husband. Her daughter. Her family.
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AN: The second "chapter" is an author's note. If you're interested in reading the about the name of the child (I put a lot of thought into it!).
So I wrote them as Totsuki students prior to dating (An Invitation to Talk, It's Always Sweeter After Making Up), after they started dating (An Untimely Visit, I'll Take Your Pain Away), after graduation (Yuki No Hana (Snow Flowers)), during engagement (The Calm Before The Storm), after the wedding (Camera Shy, The Usefulness of Uselessness), and now in parenthood!
I had fun writing this, so I hope you guys like it!