I knew how much Legolas always hated when his father had to leave, especially when he saw others preparing armor and weapons. He was many things, very young being one, but he was not stupid.

He had seen what happened to his mother, he knew where his father was going.

Thranduil and I had tried to keep it from him at first, lied to him and said that Ada was only leaving for a meeting, but Thranduil had never managed to hide the anxiety and sorrow in his soul at the thought of leaving his son at all; and especially not the fear that this would be the last time he was able to hold him.

That he would not come back this time.

I always hated having to tell him it was time to leave.

Legolas had insisted in the manner of ear piercing shrieks that he get up with his father early in the morning as he went about final preparations, early enough that he had already fallen back to sleep in his father's arms.

We all knew he did it because then Thranduil would not be able to leave without him knowing.

I had already gotten his favorite blanket to wrap him in when he was passed to me, and a well trained healer stood by with a very gentle sleeping tea should we need it. Sometimes I was able to calm him down, sometimes I was not. And there is only so much crying and fear a little elfling could take, and only so much that I can watch.

I have yet to tell Thranduil about the sleeping teas, and probably never will.

There was once a time when I would follow Thranduil everywhere, even to battle. I did not always fight, but if the King had to be called there was often a camp for healing behind the lines that I would run to the best of my abilities.

I had been with him the night the queen had died, and Thranduil had never made that mistake again.

Oropher had insisted I be as well trained as any warrior if I was to serve his son, and Thranduil and I both knew I would die before I let anything happen to him or to Legolas. Which is why he always left me with Legolas.

"It's time for you to go."

I watched as Thranduil gently rubbed on his sons back with a trembling hand, but to his credit, his voice was steady, "Wake up little sunshine."

"No Ada, don't go."

With a deep breath, he managed to steady his hand long enough to touch Legolas face, I would assume to wipe his tears. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw most of the elves around us discreetly wiping their own "I will be back soon."

"Please no."

"I promise. I love you."

"Ada."

It seemed impossible for such a tiny thing to sound so sad. Stepping forward I arranged the blanket in my arms, "Come here, little prince."

Somehow, Thranduil was able to hand him to me, prying his son's hands off of his hair. "Ada, no!"

"I will be back." Taking both of the small hands he kissed them, "I love you. I will see you soon."

Somehow he managed to turn. I never knew how he did it.

"Ada!" Thranduil turned, briefly to blow a kiss before vanishing from view, "No!"

I struggled to hold on to him as best I could as he struggled in my arms, the healer coming closer in case I needed it.

"No!"

"Ada!"

Holding him close I waited until the screams turned to sobs, and then carefully took him inside, ignoring the way everyone stared. "He had left before and came back every time, he will come back."

It was not often he spoke with anyone but Thranduil, especially not when he was this upset. He had inherited his father's habit of expressing extreme emotions incredibly poorly, Thranduil in the form of shouting and Legolas in the form of screaming. He didn't say anything, but he wasn't screaming and sometimes that's all you could ask for.

….

I knew Thranduil always hated when his son had to leave, hated it when he had to go fight in the forest but even more when he left it. Where the world was even more unpredictable these days and they had no sense of one another.

"Legolas, I have a bad feeling about this."

I stood by arranging the last important letters and papers that Legolas was supposed to bring to this 'secret council' in Imladris.

"Ada you have a bad feeling about everything."

But Thranduil was not to be swayed this time, and he gently but firmly grabbed one of his son's hand to force him to pay attention "Greenleaf please listen to me-"

I knew that Legolas was nervous, he had told me not even an hour ago. He felt it, too. Something had changed. Something big. To his credit, he did not show it.

"I have listened to you," He just as firmly pulled his hand back and rested it on his father's arm instead, "For weeks we have been talking about this."

"And for a week I have been telling you not to go!"

"I will come back. I promise."

I handed him the last of the papers when he reached for them.

"Please, no."

Leaning forward Legolas kissed his father's forehead and then rested his own against it for a moment, "I love you. I will be back."

"Don't go."

Somehow, Legolas managed to turn away from his father's desk and make for the study door. I don't know how he did it.

"Legolas!" He paused at the doorway, turning back, "I love you."

I braced myself for several long months of yelling.