Hello & good morning, afternoon or night, wherever you may be in this world. Welcome to the third and final book to my TMNT fanfiction series "The Call". If you haven't read the first two books "The Call" & "The Trek", go ahead and read them if you are up for the hearty read (they are longer than most TMNT fanfictions I've seen, so I suppose unless you are really invested, it may be easy to lose interest). This has been a wonderful journey and I can't wait to take you with me on the journey through the final book! Remember I love you all & hope you enjoy!

Also, always feel free to leave any advice or comments or anything at all. I love learning things I could do better, or even just knowing that people read what I write.

Thank you!

When I was eight years old, I broke my mother's favorite glass plate. She'd gotten it on a trip to Paris when she was in the 8th grade. It was round and thick and a beautiful blue color that shimmered in the sun. I used to choose that plate to eat with whenever we had barbeques outside just to watch it glisten in the sunlight. I sometimes called it 'Beautiful Blue'.

One summer day, I was playing with it in the summertime heat, when it crashed to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. I remember feeling suddenly frightened and I felt even more worried when four year old Benjamin stood there in the doorway with his hair uncombed and a Popsicle halfway into his mouth.

"Oh no, Benjy! I'm gonna be in so much trouble!" I'd worried, biting my knuckle and pacing back and forth. I'd seen people do it in movies whenever they did something bad, and they were afraid of getting in trouble.

"Mommy won't be mad," Benj had insisted, taking a bite of his popsicle. "And if she is, I can help you hide." So that was what the two of us did. We packed all of my favorite clothes and toys and I hid in the garden shed. Benj stayed outside to guard it and make sure that Mom didn't find me and get me in trouble. Once or twice I remember hearing Benj say to Mom, "I don't know; I haven't seen her. Maybe you should go buy a dinner plate because we're running out."

Eventually, Mom got suspicious and found me. I began crying and Benj stood in front of me shouting, "Mommy, you can't be mad at Lexi because she's my sister and I don't want you to be mad at her!" Mom ended up laughing a bit (hiding her initial disappointment that I'd broken her favorite plate) and insisted that she wasn't mad.

That day, I learned two things: one; that running away from your problems works for a while, but not forever. And two; that I had one of the best little brothers out there. Both revelations don't help me today because I don't have a brother anymore; and I want to challenge that first theory. Maybe if I stay hidden in my room, speaking to nobody except for Rose, then it will all go away. Maybe the entire world around me will just disappear and I'll fade away.

Maybe I really can run away from my problems. I just have to be motivated to. Before, I never tried running away from them because I knew that something better was to come if I stayed positive. But I know now, with dangerous mutants targeting me and Benjamin gone, I don't have anything else to be motivated by. I can't make any difference in the world because the person that made all the difference to me is gone.

I won't say that he's dead. No, dead means gone forever. He isn't gone forever. He's just...absent. Yeah. He's absent, but he's not dead. I would never have let him be dead. And he would have never done that to me. He's just out, and he'll come back eventually. He always does. Always.

There's a knock at my door. I don't show any intention of getting up and answering it, because I'm not planning on doing so. In fact, I probably wouldn't have even been able to hear it if it weren't for the fact that the person behind the door opens it.

There stands a very cautious looking Leonardo. He's pretty much given up on trying to comfort me or be by my side. I don't want him here. He ripped me away when I could have saved my brother. He knows it's dangerous to be around me now. Every time he tries to start a conversation with me, it turns into an argument with me blaming him.

It's all his fault.

He mutters something under his breath as I stare at him.

"What?" My voice is sharp. He hesitantly looks up at me, but doesn't lock his eyes with mine. He focuses on my hair (which is a mess) or the bracelet on my wrist; anything but the eyes.

"Three days," he says quietly. "It's been three days. The mutants will be leaving in a few hours, and your mom will be able to come home." I don't answer; I just stare at him. His eyes finally shift to mine, and I look away frantically. I don't want to look into his eyes. I don't want to see what he's feeling, because I know that I'll be able to see his emotions. And I don't want to.

"Okay," I say bluntly, staring at the carpet. I'm unknowingly rubbing my palms with my thumbs again. I look down at my pain-struck hands, which have been rubbed raw by my nasty habit. Skin is peeled off and my hands are bright red and purple.

Leo sighs and my eyes shoot up at him. Now it's his turn to look away. He stares at the closet door and I can see him tense up. He's afraid of me. Leo knows that I can and will lash out any second now. And there's nothing he can do about that anymore.

"Um..." he starts.

"If you're going to speak, make sure you know what you're saying," I warn, and he blinks, pursing his mouth and continuing to keep his eyes glued to the floor. Minutes pass by and all that sits in this terrifying atmosphere is dead silence. You can't even hear anything outside of my room, even though the door is wide open.

He finally looks up at me; still avoiding my eyes.

"Then I guess I'd rather not speak."

"Then get out," I order, snatching my pillow, which I readily hold in case need of throwing at him to get out. He stares at me, but since I'm refusing to look into his eyes, I don't know what emotion he holds. Suddenly, he turns on his heel and shuts my door.

My grasp on the pillow doesn't release. In fact, I clutch it tighter. I bite my tongue and feel my fingernails digging into the material of the fabric, half expecting it to tear right through. But it doesn't. It can't because I suddenly—without warning myself—throw the pillow with all my might. It hits the cup of pencils on my desk, and the writing utensils then scatter all over the floor.

It feels good to throw something. So I do it again.

This time, it hits the homemade calendar that hangs up on the wall. It goes crashing to the floor, and there is a somehow lighter space where the calendar was on the wall, compared to the rest of the color.

I pick up another pillow and toss it anywhere I can. It hits the frame that I have sitting on my desk. Before I know it, I scrambled to the ground, catching it just in time, before it would have fallen and shattered all across the floor. When I hold the frame in my hands, it feels warm. Not temperature wise, but a warm in a way that feels foreign to me. It feels like a warm feeling that I know I've felt before, but it's been so long that it seems almost impossible that it was ever there.

The frame has our New Year January picture, just us kids. It was a tradition; to take a picture with just the kids sometime in January.

This particular picture was taken out in a rural part of Rhinebeck, right before we went to visit our cousins. Benj was in the middle, with his arms around Rose and I. Even though he was a good few years younger than us, he was still taller than Rose and almost taller than me.

Even though it's just a picture, just looking at my brother makes the pain travel throughout my body all over again. I blink rapidly when I suddenly feel an electric shock; like realization. I'm finally realizing that he's gone.

To be honest, the aftershock is way worse than the actual incident. During and after what happened, I could tell myself all I wanted that he's still here. I could sit here in my bedroom and just listen to music and pretend that I was crying for no reason. I could just sit in my room and act like Benj was sitting right outside, eating or sleeping or playing video games with Kylan. I didn't have to think that he was gone because I couldn't see him.

The aftershock is the worst. It's when you finally realize what has happened, and you have to decide that to keep yourself sane, you need to admit that they're gone. Not only gone; but Benj's body is lying outside the front door, collapsed into a heap of nothingness.

I've started crying without noticing it. I wouldn't have wiped away my tears if it weren't for the fact that I wanted to see the picture again. I shouldn't have wanted to, but I do. I want to remember how we used to be happy. Because most likely, it would only be a memory. I'll never be happy again.

Since the picture was taken half a year ago, my siblings look really different. Benj had gotten taller over the months and his hair had gotten lighter over the summer. Rose hadn't really gotten much taller, but she'd gotten a hair cut since then.

I look exactly the same, only completely different at the same time. My hair is curly, as usual, my clothes are clothes I still own now...but there's one big difference.

In the picture, I'm smiling.

And it isn't just any smile. At the time, I'd had an awesome life. I liked Leo, I had my family, and I was going to graduate that year. The smile was a smile of confidence and faith. I don't have that anymore.

I frown and find myself glaring at my past being. I'm staring at a Lexi that I don't know anymore. I could have denied ever knowing her, but this picture is solid proof. I had once been happy. It almost seems like a fairytale; a short (in my case, very long) story about a girl who used to be so happy, she could light up the room. And I feel that if I told myself enough, I'd begin to believe that it was nothing but a myth.

I rip my eyes away from the picture and set it back on my desk without looking at it again. My eyes travel to the empty space where the calendar used to be. The wall looks bare without it—like it's missing something important. It's something that resembles how I'm feeling. I'm missing someone right now, and it won't feel normal again unless that person is placed back into my life.

Or if I just get used to it. If you keep that common every-day object off the wall for a very long time, it won't feel unnatural anymore. Eventually, the nice clean space that the calendar protected will get dusty and become a bit more dull and used like the rest of the wall. It'll become a normal thing.

That scares me.

I don't want to get used to Benj being gone.

I put the calendar back on the wall, but it falls down a few more times before I can get it so that it stays. I then take a seat back on my bed and stay there. I don't know how long I stay there for; maybe an hour, maybe more, maybe less.

My door opens and in pops a purple-banded turtle.

"You called?"

"I did?"

"Yeah," he says slowly, nodding. "You did. Just a second ago." If it was Leo, I would have opened my mouth and began shouting at him for being a liar. I don't know why I'm so against Leo. Probably because he's my boyfriend and he was supposed to help me save my brother. Instead, he pulled me back and let him die.

I feel a pinch of guilt when I don't have anything to say, let alone remember calling him. So I think of something that I know I need to ask.

"Donnie; answer me one question. Just one." I pause and he nods. I swallow and blink back tears. "Is he really gone?" My voice is displayed as strained and firm, but I am still shaking. I know the answer, but I'm still afraid of it.

He doesn't answer me for a few seconds, but no longer.

"Physically, yes," he says quietly, and I am satisfied with the answer for some strange reason. He doesn't extend on his reasoning, which is a smart move for him to do. I don't want his technical side showing right now. This is a serious matter and I don't care about large vocabulary and evidence and reasoning.

"Explain." I still want to know what he means.

"I don't entirely know," he admits, pausing for a moment. "He's not here physically in the flesh, but you can still feel him here, you know? I'm sure if one of us were to go into his room or the kitchen or places where he was most likely to be found, we'd be able to feel his presence still. I don't know if it's because it smells like him or it feels like him..."

"Or if it's a spiritual thing," I finish. He doesn't respond. I haven't talked much religion with the turtles, even though my family and I have been strong Christians. I'm just really pained right now, going through what I'm going through. I don't have time. But here, in this moment, I realize that I need to make time.

"I think he's okay," I say softly, but then I shake my head. "I know he's okay."

He smiles and squeezes my hand gently.

"Then remember that feeling. Don't forget it. Do you need anything else?"

"I need you to get Leo for me," I say swallowing. Don looks a bit taken aback at my request. The way I argue with Leo lately is no mystery to everyone else. In fact, they know that if I request Leo, they'll have to stay because they'll probably catch me choking him or something. "Please, Donnie. I need to talk to him."

The unevenness in my voice is what gets Donnie following through with my orders. He knows by my voice tone that my talk with Leo isn't going to be violent—but it isn't going to be a good talk.

After a few minutes, Leo enters back into my room. I sit as still as I can on my bed, staring at him. He looks cautious and scared. I bite the inside of my cheek.

"You don't have to stand ten feet away like I'm going to snap your neck." It's meant to sound comforting, but it turns out the completely opposite. My voice snaps and he refuses to look me in the eyes still.

"I can't be too sure you won't." For some reason, those words really hurt. I flinch back and feel my face redden. I don't know if it's from embarrassment that I made Leo afraid of me, or anger that he would make a sarcastic remark like that. Maybe it's a little of both.

"Leo." I pause and take another breath. "I've had days to think about the possibilities. We could have done so many things to save Benj; so many things. I have pages of possible ways we could have saved him. None of them could work now, since he's gone." Leo still doesn't look up at me, but his expression fills with something I can't understand.

"He was my brother. He was my baby brother and he's not here anymore because you didn't let me try."

"You could've been killed—"

"Let me finish!" I hadn't planned on raising my voice through this talk, and I'm not going to anymore. Then, he does what I don't expect him to do: he finally looks me in the eyes.

His brown eyes are filled with so many emotions. He's hurt and he's scared and he's guilty and he's angry. There are too many feelings for me to name and I can't help but start crying. Leo doesn't reach out to take me in his arms and hold me. He's learned not to do that because I'll just shove him away. But I miss being in his arms. I don't admit that though. I just cry for a few minutes.

The only thing that could make this situation worse was if he said something like, "Is this what you called me in here for? To watch you cry?" Thank goodness he doesn't say that. He'd never say something like that. He's too sensitive to my feelings. He knows that that would hurt me more than anyone could ever imagine.

"I think..." I croak, wiping my eyes. "I think...I need...to...to have some time. To myself. I want to take a break from...from us." There is a silence as I hold my breath to wait for his reaction. He doesn't move. "Leo—"

"It's fine," he says quietly. "You need time; you can have time. I won't bother you." For some reason, getting upset with me would have been better than this reaction. I know that he isn't fine with it and neither am I.

"Leo—"

"You need time to mourn over your brother. If you don't want a relationship with a mutant right now, then that's fine."

"That's not what I meant—"

"Then what did you mean?"

"I meant that I can't be with someone that ruined all the chances of my brother staying alive." Silence.

"Are you saying this is my fault?"

"No! I mean...not entirely—"

He scoffs and looks away in disbelief.

"Not entirely," he mutters sarcastically. "Well what a relief; I thought that I had to take the entire fault for this situation!" I bite my lip and blink back more tears.

"We're done."

"With what? This conversation or our relationship?"

"Both!" I say, shaking my head and pointing towards the door. He doesn't look at me a moment longer before getting up and heading out with a slam of the door. I jump at the sudden sound and I begin crying again.

I don't have anyone anymore.

I know that Leo would have stood by me if I weren't so darn stubborn. Somewhere deep inside of me, I know that it isn't his fault. But I am in a condition where I want to be able to blame someone other than myself.

If I weren't so stubborn and angry with everyone, I'd have a lot of people by my side. I might be able to have Donnie by my side and Mallory by my side and maybe even Dad...

But I don't.

Nightfall comes, and the mutants leave. I don't come out of my room, even when I hear the worried voices of Mom and Mallory and Noah, rushing around in the front room. It's any moment now that someone is going to ask where Benj is. I can hear muffled talking and then a long silence.

And a broken sob.

Mom never cries. But she's crying now. And as much as I want to reach out and comfort her, I can't bring myself to leave my room. I can't look at Leo or the pained looks in my friends' faces. Or the sympathy. I can't stand the sympathy.

So instead of sitting on my bed and waiting for Mom to walk in and give me a hug so that we could cry together, I get under my blankets and pull the covers over my head. I'm absolutely exhausted; not having slept in three days. But even through my tiredness, I still can't fall asleep instantly.

The last thing I hear is the sound of my mother's voice suddenly next to my ear.

"I'm sorry, Alexandra..." she whispers, and I can feel her tears emotionally. "Oh my sweet girl; I'm so, so sorry." She kisses my forehead and I am alone again.

A/N:

Okay, don't kill me. Please don't kill me. Yes, Lexi wants a break from Leo. Yes, they did break up. And yes; they still love each other so much. You can say that Lexi is being a brat and inconsiderate and she's just trying to think of someone to blame; and she is. But I want you guys to understand that she just lost her little brother. And not just her brother...but think about how close Benj and Lexi were.

Their close bond was displayed all around, throughout the entire fanfiction, whether you saw it or not. They were best friends in so many ways; and Lexi feels like she let him down because of the many times that she promised to keep him safe. Now it has become her duty to love Rose like she loved Benj, which will be very hard.

As always, thank you again for reading!