I can tell when Manny sometimes looks at me that he does not see me. He is seeing her. His first wife, Crystal. He never talks about his other family before me and Peaches, but sometimes I'll catch him staring off into the distance and I know that he is thinking of them.
Sometimes I awake to him screaming out in pain, calling for Crystal and Sammy. I know he has nightmares over their deaths, and he constantly worries that he won't be there to protect Peaches and me when the time comes.
One day a year he distances himself from me and the rest of the herd, and I know that this is the day that he lost them. I was worried sick the first time he did this, until Diego explained things to me.
"Ellie, he has done this before, it is nothing to worry about."
I look at him, "Isn't it, Manny doesn't just wander off!"
Diego glanced at his paws as if debating before he answered. "He does on this day, every year."
"Whats so special about this day!" I had demanded.
Diego sighed, "Because this is the day that Manny lost his family." He then told me how humans had attacked them and Manny had been separated and his wife and son had been killed.
I saw Manny differently because of that day. I could see why he was so protective, and the fear that flashes in his eyes when he thinks were in danger. I know that he loves me and Peaches, but I know that a small piece of his heart will always belong to her and his son.
So I pretend not to remember those night that I spent beside him, calming him down after another nightmare has entered his dreams or the mornings when he whispers her name. I know that is wrong of me to be jealous of a memory, but she was the first woman in his heart, and sometimes he sees her instead of me.