A/N :This is quite a departure from my normal style, so I hope it goes well, enjoy.
Eden Regained
Chapter 1: New Revelations
''Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die; for I have not found thy works perfect before God.''-Revelation 3:2-3
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'I feel sick'
Shinji looked down once more at Asuka, but found that this time; there was no rage, no anger, just a great pit of emptiness. He slowly released his grip on her neck, rolled round, and threw up on the burnt ground. Ten seconds ago all he wanted to do was kill, kill Asuka. Because…because she was here, HER. No one else but HER. All of the billions of people on this planet and it had to be HER!
But now he could feel none of that, the feeling had gone as quickly as it came, and now he felt…nothing…just nothing. He just lay on his back looking at the red sky. All the voices that had been in his head since…well, forever, had suddenly fallen silent. For the first time in a very long time, Shinji was at peace with himself.
He had no idea how long he lay there, minutes, hours could have passed by without him noticing. The only sound that disturbed him was Asuka's shallow breathing growing louder and steadier as she slowly regained consciousness. The sound stirred Shinji from his peaceful rest. He slowly levered himself up on his elbows into the morning air, morning? What was morning in this place? The land looked the same as it had done before, burnt, ravaged by fire and bereft of life. The giant ocean of LCL seemed to stretch away into the dark horizon.
Strangely, Shinji felt no pain, no sadness at the sight, for that would mean that there would have to be emotion, and this dead place warranted none. From behind him came muffled whisperings as Asuka tossed and turned in a fitful sleep. This caused him to turn around and look at her, and the void inside him gave birth to emotion. The first emotion he felt was relief, but relief for what? Then guilt, but guilt of what? Then he felt another strange emotion, a sort of background noise that is never noticed until its has stopped and begun again.
What is this? He asked himself.
We know what this is. Said voices in his head.
What? We? Who are you?
Shinji we are YOU! The voices yelled in unison.
What do you mean you're me? How can you be? This is me!
We are the parts of you that you as you are now never see, the courage, the strength, the passion and drive, all these things that you hide within yourself, which you believe don't exist, you believe you are weak and useless, living a purposeless existence because you hide from us! You talk with your shame and despair, your doubt and your fear.
NO!
Yes Shinji, you only release us when you have reached the limit your mind can take, such as when you pilot EVA. Only for a short time do you let us be heard, for your shame and misery have consumed your mind.
Why can you tell me this now then, why not before, why can you be heard now and not before damnit!
Because you can no longer live on despair alone Shinji, you can no longer hide from us in everyday life because now there is no everyday.
WHAT DO YOU WANT!
TO BE HEARD! TO HAVE YOU LISTEN TO US AS WELL!
WHY!
Only then can you become a complete person, you will see what it is to be peaceful.
How?
Just begin to think with us Shinji, realize we are not separate, we are one being, and thus are the same, but different.
But what is this feeling, you still haven't told me!
Shinji, that feeling is where we flow from, it is your inner source of light, it is Love Shinji.
I don't understand…how can I listen to… to you…if you are… already… me?
It then dawned on Shinji that he didn't need to listen, because he was all ready those voices; he was him, as one, a whole being.
So this…is me? Yes it is, me as a person, a complete person………
He waited from a reply from those voices, but none came.
Because I need no reply save my own…I need no reply, I NEED NO REPLY!
The last triumphant thought rang in his head, and once again his mind was at peace. He had a purpose, he just had not found it yet, but he didn't have to. The fact he knew he had one was enough.
He beamed at the sky, the silent ocean, the dead trees, until finally his gaze fell once more on the slumbering form of Asuka. He felt that jolt of felling once again, a flow of emotion and strength through his body as he saw her.
But these feelings come from love? They are there when I see her because I…feel…love for her… for Asuka! I see now, these feelings come from my love, which I have rarely experienced, except for now these feelings are strong because I love Asuka? Yes…it's true!
He picked himself up and walked over to Asuka's sleeping form. He sat down next to her, his strength growing wit each second that passed. Slowly he ran his fingers through her long red hair and just sat watching her face as she slept.
Asuka smiled in her slumber. Sighing, she gently whispered 'Baka Shinji….. Why do I love that baka…….' Her voice trailed off. Shinji stared down at her in shock, unable to move. She moaned groggily and began to slowly open her eyes. The first thing she saw was the astonished face of Shinji as it swam into focus in front of her. 'What's that baka doing? Why is he smiling like that?Is he looking at me?' were her first thoughts as she woke.
'Hmmm…Mornin' Baka.' She said, but there was barely a trace of a tease in it, she sounded almost…happy. This puzzled Shinji even more than he already was, and drew Asuka's attention.
'What's going on, where are we?' she asked.
'Er…i..don't…er… I don't..know…..' came Shinji's spluttered reply. He still couldn't believe that in front of him was Asuka, the same Asuka that had demeaned him, belittled him, teased him, abused him and hit him, and yet he could not help loving her. The sight of her intoxicated him, made him soar with happiness, even in this wasteland, she was an oasis of reality, an light in the dark for him.
'Shinji..why..' she sounded embarrassed, she even blushed! 'Why are you stroking my hair?' she blushed an even deeper shade of red, as did Shinji, who quickly removed the hand that had still been idly running its fingers through her locks.
'I, I, I can explain Asuka! It isn't…' he blurted his reply, anticipating the slap that would surely follow. But it never did. He opened his eyes to find Asuka standing up, gazing at the shattered world around them.
'This was the third impact, wasn't it?' she asked, facing away from him
'Yeah, er..'
'They're all dead aren't they? Everyone?'
'Yes, all that's left is the LCL.' Shinji motioned to the surrounding ocean of orange.
'Were all that's left….' Her voice trailed of into silence.
Shinji made a choice then, a choice that would change everything, for better or worse, but a choice that had to be made nonetheless. He got up and walked over to Asuka who just stood staring at the ocean, expressionless. He took hold of her shoulders and turned her around until she was facing him. The serious expression he wore and the determined look in her eyes made her apprehensive.
'Shinji?' she said quietly, looking at his face. She had never seen him so determined before; he actually looked strong for the first time since she met him, as though he was finally together with himself.
'Asuka, what I'm going to say is very important, and it will change a lot of things. You may hate me, even kill me for what I'm about to say, but it would not matter because I have finally found my purpose, my reason for being.'
'What do you mean Shinji, what reason?'
'You, Asuka, you are my reason.'
'Shinji…'there were many emotions in her right now, fear, angst, happiness, confusion, and she had no idea which one to be sure of.
'I love you Asuka. And nothing will ever change that, because you have given me reason to live, to carry on. I don't care what you do to me, just understand you have saved me, and that I love you.'
Asuka turned away from him, tears streaming down her face, those words echoing in her mind 'I love you Asuka, love you, love you….' For five minutes she just stood sobbing, Shinji stood also, staring at the floor.
'Asuka-chan, I'm sorry for having to cause you pain, but I had to tell you. I'll leave now, goodbye Asuka.' With that he turned to leave but was suddenly winded as Asuka ran up to him and captured him in a fierce hug.
'You Baka… I..sniff..I love you…Baka..sniff..love…you.. Baka…'She sobbed into his chest. Shinji returned the hug with a passion, drawing her into a tight embrace. Asuka experienced a calm she never had before, in the safety of his arms, a safety she needed.
'Asuka-chan, I..' but he said no more as Asuka's lips captured his in truly amazing kiss to which he responded in kind. In the wasteland around them all they had was each other, and that was enough. They stayed like that for hours, until the sun finally disappeared over the horizon.
'Shinji-kun?'
'Mmm?'
'What happens now?' she asked him.
'I don't now, but it's nothing we can't deal with' and ended the sentence by planting another kiss on her lips.
Suddenly a blinding light appeared in the sky. They both immediately stopped and stared.
'No it can't be!'
'An Angel!'
The light came closer towards them, a brilliant white light that began to soften as the being drew closer illuminated the scene. A figure began to emerge among the light, a human figure clad in white robes. Two wings spread themselves either side of the angel, feathered wings of light, but real at the same time. The figure landed before them and drew in its wings. The shining white robed body was now clear, but the beings face was still obscured by the light that was both blinding and soft, underneath a glowing ring of gold. The figure advanced further, and the two humans clung to each other for protection, like a rock in the storm. The being sensed their fear and stopped. It extended its arms and spoke to them in their minds, in a voice so calm that it could extinguish the fires of hell with but a single word. It said:
'Do not be afraid…'
End of Chapter 1
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A/N: I now It's cheesy, I just wanted to try something different for once. Even if you didn't enjoy it leave a review with your reasons if they're valid ones, no pointless flames please. Next chapter in 5 days time.
Thank you for reading.
